headed for a 4th DUI it seems

[MrsMcNear46]

Janet-

I had trouble sleeping last nite thinking of you and Ant. I had a feeling that he would have the urge to drink now more than ever to escape his thoughts of the consequences he is about to face....and I cried and prayed and prayed.

Please stay strong Janet. One day, he will be free of his addiction and be well....just hang on.

I'll continue to keep you guys in my prayers.

Blessings,

Mrs. McNear

 

[PonyGirl]

((((HUGS)))) and prayers my friend. ant is in my heart.


Peace

 

[susiestar]

Sending hugs and prayers for you and Kaleb!

 

[Sunlight]

it means so much to me to have you all there for support. Ant called today and asked if he could come to Bfs for dinner. I said yes. he doesnt want Kaleb at his place at all. ant did go to work today.

he called a bit ago and asked if he could bring an underage girl-he has been with this girl before-- with him to dinner. I said no.

he coldly said THANKS MOM and I told him he can have the girl to his own place and cook her dinner there if he wants her around. he still says he is leaving for new york this weekend to stay with some girl he met on the internet.

I dont care. Kaleb is with me and I cant help ant and dont want to anymore. his mind is fried.

I am so sorry to even tell anyone anymore about him. my sisters are crying, my mom is upset, my brother keeps calling to check on me. I hate to bother anyone. now even you here are getting worried. sigh.

I am going away next week for a while. we all need a break from the ant chaos. I hope before I leave there is news about a court date or they come get him.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

We are here for support no matter what. Prayers for you, Ant, and Kaleb.

 

[DDD]

Are you going on the "surprise birthday trip" with boyfriend???
I think a change of scenery is a good idea. I am sorry. DDD

 

[Sunlight]

yes DDD. I am going with boyfriend to canada. he planned it all weeks ago and even arranged for my boss to know and have my coworker cover for me. he hasnt said where but I think it will be niagara on the lake.

By the way ant called again and is now coming to dinner at boyfriend's alone. I know he is going crazy with anxiety. too much so to manage Kaleb on his own.

 

[PonyGirl]

Hoping you have a peaceful dinner together. If you have a chance, please give ant a hug & whisper in his ear, "This is from Justin's Mom"

Ant is my Moment of Silence at every AA Meeting I attend. I believe I may be as angry with him as you are, and love him the same way. So much alike to my boy.

We will always be here for both of you!

Peace

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Yeah, me too PonyGirl. Him and "McWeedy".

 

[rejectedmom]

Janet, You can not do anything more for Ant. Ant has to do for Ant. I am glad you are going on your trip. I hope that you can put this out of your mind for long enough periods to have an enjoyable trip. I am so angry with Ant for putting himself back as the center of your attention and possibly ruining what was to be a lovely trip with your boyfriend. I continue to pray for you that you can embrace the joys that do come to you in spite of the sorrow that Ant keeps laying at your feet.
As for Ant my prayers are that he grows up takes stock of his actions and changes for good. No more half hearted efforts, no more skirting around the edges of real change. No more wollowing n self pity when he screws up. No more blaming others or circumstances for his own choices. I pray that he find the strenght and courage to be the man he was ment to be. -RM

 

[SunnyFlorida]

Janet your trip sounds wonderful. boyfriend really is quite the guy...that's alot of planning he did.

I think what makes me shake my head the worst is, is that Ant knew he shouldn't drink, shouldn't drive, and now that he got caught, he's mad a the world and scared of the consequences. I guess that's the addiction part.

Keeping my thoughts and prayers on overtime for you guys.

Janet, you are quite a fast thinker under pressure. We all learn quite a bit from you.

Have a little {{{sunny hug}}}. It's about all I can give right now.

 

[Sunlight]

RM-truer words have never been spoken.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

Janet,

Have fun on your trip. Try to get this latest drama in the saga of ant out of your mind and relax. You know there is nothing more that you can do.......

Hugs,
Sharon

 

[Merris]

Janet - sorry I got here a little late. I ACHE for you. Not for him, for you. He did what he did and will have to face the consequences, unfortunately, so will you. PLEASE take care of yourself, have a good time on your vacation and try not to think about it (easier said than done). Don't worry about your sorrows being a burden on people. That's what friends and family are for. They love you and they care about you. We all care about you and truly value you.

Many prayers being said for you and Ant

Merris

 

[Stella Johnson]

So what are the official charges?
Strange that they have not gone after him already. It has been days..... weird.

Relax and have a good time on your birthday. A trip sounds like a great idea to get out of all the chaos

steph

 

[meowbunny]

I'm sorry. I can only imagine your pain, anger and frustration at/with your son.

Hope you have a super time on your trip! Sounds like you have a very special man there.

 

[Sunlight]

steph:
no word yet. it has been a week. last night we took ant and went to dinner with my brother, the judge. my brother told ant he will most likely get a certified letter in a few days ordering him to an arraignment at the local magistrate's area.

at that point, the cops present the evidence for the charges which will problem be:
DUI -4th
evading police
driving without a license
and whatever else they say.

if the district justice sees enough info such as his breathalizer report etc, he will order the case to court.
a hearing could be a month away.

the other scenario is that ant's PO will get wind of this and will pick him up soon or at the arraignment.

it is not so weird to have a delay I heard. the cop who arrested could have filed the papers to the magistrate, the magistrate office could be backed up on hearings due to paperwork or vacations. it will come eventually.

my brother is in a diff county than ant and a diff one than me. I dont want him to call anyone or get involved. ant will have to face whatever.

meanwhile ant is stressed, angry, suicidal, alternately sad and crying. last night Kaleb gave him the finger and said F you to ant. ant blew his top. he was screaming at kaleb "who taught you that??" kaleb is not watched when with his mom so who knows...but ant got a taste of having his own child do this to him.

my brother thinks ant will get a minumim 3 yrs in a state prison rather than county jail time due to this being the 4th one and him being on probation.

I am mad at ant, sad for him and sometimes feel like calling the PO myself. for today my main focus is Kaleb. he is only 3 and needs me.

 

[DDD]

"the system" has enough people already, Janet. Don't blend roles
with the enforcers. You are the Mom and Ant needs the Mom that God gave him. Hugs. DDD

 

[Sunlight]

DDD I would never call the PO> been there done that and will never do it again. not to worry, I am trying to be as supportive to ant as I can given the situation.

 

[SunnyFlorida]

You are doing all you can Janet. YOur role is MOM and like DDD said "not the enforcer". Just keep being that strong mom who has stood her ground throughout everything.

Here's some cyber strength. We'll back you so you can back Ant.