pigless in VA
Well-Known Member
Welcome, NicksTiredMom. Well at least Nick is intelligent. That was an elaborate break in. That means he can find a different way to support himself.
Help: my 23 year old daughter is stealing
- Thread starter ButterflyGirl
- Start date
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
hi nicksmom. Welcome. Have you thought of an alarm and/or camera system?
The first (and hardest) thing is to decide to be safe and secure in your own home. I wonder if I am there yet.
i hope you keep posting. If you post your own thread more people will see it and respond.
Take care.
The first (and hardest) thing is to decide to be safe and secure in your own home. I wonder if I am there yet.
i hope you keep posting. If you post your own thread more people will see it and respond.
Take care.
Last edited:
ButterflyGirl
New Member
Police were round this morning asking when we last saw her. She hasn't been home since the incident last week! She's just started to detox and they've lost her!!
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Shes probably hiding. Thats probably why you havent seen her. With the cops after her and the pressure, doubt she is still detoxing.
Please protect yourself.
Please protect yourself.
pasajes4
Well-Known Member
They did not lose her. She does not want to face the consequences of her actions. If she shows up, call 911. She is going to have to deal with this. You do not want to go to jail because of obstruction of justice. You cannot help her by protecting her from the messes she makes.
Butterfly, your mind set is still that your daughter is a victim here. She is not.
Instead of saying my daughter might get hurt . . . how about my daughter hurt my husband.
Instead of saying my daughter was lost by the police . . . how about my daughter ran away from detox and facing the consequences of her actions.
Instead of saying they need to understand she could die if they just lock her in some confinement cell and leave her to "sleep it off" . . . how about my daughter needs to understand that her alcohol addiction will kill her if she doesn't get treatment.
See the difference?
~Kathy
Instead of saying my daughter might get hurt . . . how about my daughter hurt my husband.
Instead of saying my daughter was lost by the police . . . how about my daughter ran away from detox and facing the consequences of her actions.
Instead of saying they need to understand she could die if they just lock her in some confinement cell and leave her to "sleep it off" . . . how about my daughter needs to understand that her alcohol addiction will kill her if she doesn't get treatment.
See the difference?
~Kathy
Last edited:
ButterflyGirl
New Member
Because I believe she IS a victim. Alcoholism is a disease, not a crime. What she did was wromg, but the alcohol changes her when she drinks.
In the meantime, we've not heard from her in a week, nobody has a clue where she is or if she's even alive, and I blame the PD for dropping the ball and letting someone who is essentially extremely sick just waltz out the door with zero concern for their wellfare.
Yes, alcoholism is a disease. I completely agree. So is diabetes but you wouldn't say that a diabetic shouldn't seek treatment to learn how to control their disease.
Alcoholics can get sober if they choose too. Your daughter does not have to be a victim of the disease. It is a choice.
Alcoholics can get sober if they choose too. Your daughter does not have to be a victim of the disease. It is a choice.
Last edited:
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
the issue is this bg.
the remedy is in her. nobody can keep her sober or is responsible for her sobriety. however we want to take responsibility or project it to others, only she can stop.
do you believe drunk drivers who kill innocents are responsible for their acts?
would you hold a drunk person responsible for killing your daughter?
how does this end if it is only others who are responsible?
i think of that young man in texas who killed people drunk. his mother was criminally charged for spiriting him out of the country to avoid incarceration. How was he served?
we as parents are victims of a disease sometimes too. many of us are children of addicts or alcoholics or have addictions ourselves.
there can be a great deal of enmeshment, guilt and denial at work in our relationships with our kids. they are hurt by it. and us too.
the remedy is in her. nobody can keep her sober or is responsible for her sobriety. however we want to take responsibility or project it to others, only she can stop.
do you believe drunk drivers who kill innocents are responsible for their acts?
would you hold a drunk person responsible for killing your daughter?
how does this end if it is only others who are responsible?
i think of that young man in texas who killed people drunk. his mother was criminally charged for spiriting him out of the country to avoid incarceration. How was he served?
we as parents are victims of a disease sometimes too. many of us are children of addicts or alcoholics or have addictions ourselves.
there can be a great deal of enmeshment, guilt and denial at work in our relationships with our kids. they are hurt by it. and us too.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Alcoholism is a treatable disease. She is not a victim if she refuses help and hurts others. The others are HER victims. Police deal with alcoholics all the time and are not supposed to take of adult addicts or tell their family their whereabouts. If they did that, they would hae no time to do anyone else.
Meanwhile Daughter is causing her own bad life now by running from cops. in my opinion it would be helpful to see that your daughter is choosing to stay sick and, along with it, is creating many victims of her own. Including you.She can get get help now, this minute. It is on her own shoulders that she refuses. The alcohol cant make her refuse help.
Most of our kids are or were addicts and our adult kids either get into further trouble or get help for themselves. People with terminal cancer are victims because they are beyond help. Addiction is treatable. Your daughter is choosing alcohol. The alcohol bottle isnt chasing after her and foring itself down her throat.
Your daughter's bad even criminal behavior is due to her bad choices and refusal to quit drinking. Alcoholics can quit...every day alcoholics quit. No reason your daughter cant too. She doesnt want to.
Meanwhile Daughter is causing her own bad life now by running from cops. in my opinion it would be helpful to see that your daughter is choosing to stay sick and, along with it, is creating many victims of her own. Including you.She can get get help now, this minute. It is on her own shoulders that she refuses. The alcohol cant make her refuse help.
Most of our kids are or were addicts and our adult kids either get into further trouble or get help for themselves. People with terminal cancer are victims because they are beyond help. Addiction is treatable. Your daughter is choosing alcohol. The alcohol bottle isnt chasing after her and foring itself down her throat.
Your daughter's bad even criminal behavior is due to her bad choices and refusal to quit drinking. Alcoholics can quit...every day alcoholics quit. No reason your daughter cant too. She doesnt want to.
Last edited:
Sam3
Active Member
12-step programs are based on the disease model of alcoholism.
The cure is sobriety.
The prescription for the cure is the choice to get sober.
Treatment, meetings or sheer force of will are like the ride to the pharmacy.
But in this disease, she is both doctor and patient. Not her parents or the police or anyone else.
This is a good read.
open letter from an alcoholic - Al-Anon Family Group
The cure is sobriety.
The prescription for the cure is the choice to get sober.
Treatment, meetings or sheer force of will are like the ride to the pharmacy.
But in this disease, she is both doctor and patient. Not her parents or the police or anyone else.
This is a good read.
open letter from an alcoholic - Al-Anon Family Group
