Help with Body Odor and Hygiene

[Marguerite]

Burn SCENTED candles.

Mind you, you will notice the flame changes colour when a stinky difficult child walks past...

Marg

 

[TerryJ2]

He just pours on the cologne, just like in the days of Louis XIV!

You got it!

LOL, Marg!

 

[crazymama30]

I do the sniff test. For brushing teeth and bathing. difficult child loves to take his bakugan figures and have battles in the bathtub (or that is what it sounds like) for an hour but then will forget to wash up. He has been sent back enough times that maybe 60% of the time he washes up, but man that kid hates tooth paste. He will even use mouthwash so his breath smells good, but hates tooth paste. We have tried all different flavors. He hates it all.

 

[DaisyFace]

....but man that kid hates tooth paste. He will even use mouthwash so his breath smells good, but hates tooth paste. We have tried all different flavors. He hates it all.

If I understand correctly...toothpaste is not as necessary as the brushing itself.

As for brushing--the new "Tooth Tunes" brushes are great! And they are available with songs for all ages and musical taste. We got my son the one that plays Queen's 'We Will Rock You'...

Works wonders!

--DaisyF

 

[Fran]

It has been a constant struggle.
At 24 he is more aware and will do it but must be reminded every day. He only this year started to brush his hair. (very curly). I remind him to use soap and deodorant. At least now he does it and not pretend.
It is no longer a basket "C". He ends up ostracizing himself because he looks unkept. Adults avoid him. He is a big guy who will wear the same pair of pants for weeks at a time if not reminded. If the knees are torn out, then so what? He will not get jobs, social interaction or any sort of positive feedback because of his appearance.
This is where he still needs supervision. He is capable of doing it but isn't capable of remembering the steps involved.

If he is willing- a checklist on the mirror in the bathroom may help him.

 

[AnnMarieTN]

This is a Basket C (a la Ross Greene) item in our house, for sure.

Every week, we are able to entice our son into the shower with a "carrot." We tell him, "As soon as you shower, we'll be able to go to (fun place)." So once a week, he's squeaky clean.

At least it's better than never.

I do that with him and he will go in there, but it's evident that he doesn't actually wash himself.

I've made him go back repeatedly. I've let him buy his own stuff, I've bought stuff for him. He has a girlfriend.

The Mental Health director with the courts yesterday felt it was due to his depression. It was so bad yesterday that it was hard to ride in the car with him and be in the room with him.

 

[house of cards]

I believe, in your case, it probably is depression. I think it is worth getting him to do it though, because I think sitting in his filth aids the depression. It sounds like he is willing to obey you and go into the bathroom so I would just do the smell test(I would listen to the water and tell him I still smelled an odor if I didn't hear him in the water) and send him back, maybe with the bathing suit wash by mom/dad as a backup threat. I don't think I would be willing to do this daily, but at least a few times a week.

 

[Kjs]

My experience is...when he likes a girl, or trying to impress someone he will shower, fix his hair just so, deoderant, and cologne.

If it's just us, neighbors or school, he really doesn't care.

Brushing his teeth..He told me he did. But toothbrush was dry. Then I told him to go brush and happened to walk by. Water running and him standing there holding his brush.

I bought new shampoo, in a different bottle. After about ten days of him taking showers, coming out with wet hair etc. One day he asks me if we have any shampoo. he thought that was conditioner. So WHAT did he do for ten days???

I never asked him if he actually uses soap and washes. I just assumed he did since he was in the shower. Now you have me wondering. I bet he doesn't.

We make him leave the door unlocked. He is behind the dark, non see through curtain and We have never violated that. But he use to turn the water on and sit in a steamy room forever.

Girls. That is what did it for him. I am waiting for him to hit puberty. Not there yet. No signs really. Just some BO on and off.

 

[butterflydreams]

This has been a huge problem with difficult child. Even when he was inpatient and at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) they had to institute soap checks because he stunk and they knew he wasn't washing. I know one time he had to wash all of his clothes AND take a shower with a soap check because it was so bad.

At home, I am able now to get him to take a shower 1 time per week. I do a smell check afterwards. For the most part he is doing a good job. Now, he doesn't do this unprompted. I have to tell him it is time for your shower and wait outside the bathroom door (which is always not all the way closed because he is scared to be in there by himself). I at one point threatened him with a soap check, but the knowing he has a smell check works. I have also got him Axe shampoo and body wash that he likes which helps.

The bigger problem is brushing his teeth. Surprising enough, he had no cavities when we went to the dentist.

 

[Marguerite]

I know I've mentioned before on te value of using vinegar to splash on BO stains & smells on clothing, right before you do a cold water wash. We actually keep a spray bottle full of vinegar in te laundry, just for spraying on clothes.

But for the toothpaste-hating person, you could get him to use salt, or carb soda, to scrub his teeth with. Not every country i nthe world uses toothpaste, salt has been used for millennia (in some countries, with a chewed stick - toothbrushes have come a long way). But is it the toothpaste, or is it the brush? If it's the brush, get him a really soft babies' one and let him brush with salt of carb soda. It doesn't lather. I know I have a problem with too much lather, I use a tiny amount of toothpaste and it does the job for me. But I gag on the froth of mouthwash, I just can't use the stuff. I will gargle with salt water, though. You just have to not swallow it because te sodium intake would be unhealthy.

Marg

 

[trinityroyal]

With my difficult child, the only thing that worked has been rote repetition.

A laminated checklist of all the steps for proper washing, posted on the wall in the bath. A washable marker attached, so he can tick off the steps as he completes them.

Baths not showers. It's easier to fake a shower than a bath.

husband or I, and now Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff, watch him run a bath and put bubble bath in it. Like Marg said, soap leaves a scummy ring. Bath bubbles clean the boy and the bath.

Minimum time in the bath 30 minutes. That way, even if he just sits there, the hot water and bubble bath will have some effect.

Post bath, he puts on a pair of shorts, bathing suit or boxers, and submits to a full inspection, as follows:
1) Evidence that he actually got in the water and stayed there. Wrinkly skin on fingers and toes, a scrubbed look to the rest of his skin
2) Sniff test: Pits, feet, hair, breath
3) Visual inspection: Ears, between fingers, between toes, back of the neck, soles of feet. Anywhere that grime is likely to accumulate, and not come off without actual washing

If he doesn't pass muster on any of the inspection criteria, it's back in for a do-over. No arguments about whether he did or didn't wash at all. Simply, "difficult child, you didn't wash properly because you're still dirty and you still stink." Run a fresh bath and try again.

The record for do-overs was 5. difficult child had to take 5 baths, he was starving and I even let him take a plastic bowl of dry cereal in with him to eat while he washed. I wasn't ready for a dinner battle on top of the bath battle.

Because he has to follow the same routine every night, he has gradually gotten the hang of it, and tends to bathe properly most times. If there's ever a break in his routine, such as an overnight visit home, the whole thing falls apart, but he regains the skill much more quickly now.

As for toothpaste, I agree with Marg that you can substitute. Personally, I make a paste of baking soda and a bit of water and use that. Makes my mouth feel very fresh and clean without the over-strong minty-ness of toothpaste or all that froth. Also whitens teeth.

This is a tough nut to crack. Persistence seems to be the key.

Trinity

 

[anmari75]

I am so glad I am not the only one dealing with this. I love my kids but their hygiene skills are not up to par. They are getting better finally. I put a chart up in the bathroom for them...simple stuff:
wash your hands, brush your teeth, deodorant, wash your hair AND your body!!!
and i always check them before thay have to go anywhere. smell check and breath check!!! hopefully it will just become routine for them sooner than later and i am trying to not remind them so much so we will see what happens.

 

[susiestar]

Man does this bring up memories of Wiz, and current skirmishes with thank you. Wiz was always the kid you couldn't get IN the water (he would spread his arms and legs out like the cat does when we try to bathe him, LOL!) and then we couldn't get him OUT.

When he was little I did to him what my mom did to me - I would lick his arm. He HATED that, so eventually it became part of the discipline. I would mildly ask if he wanted to stop that or get a Lickin' . I was followed around the grocery store several times until the little old lady saw me actually lick his forearm rather than beat him!

After about age 9 I would make him wear swim trunks if he didn't bathe to my staisfaction and I would scrub him. His little brother heard us to remind him to use soap, scrub his pits, wash his feet one day. After that thank you LIVED for the times he could get away from us and run to the bathroom and yell USE SOAP or whatever at Wiz.

thank you now REALLY regrets that. If Wiz is around when thank you is bathing here or an on overnight to Grandmas, Wiz returns the favor. Esp the part about feet. thank you's feet will gas us out of the house some days.

When Wiz was at the psychiatric hospital for 4 months they had about 4 boys who went through "Bath Bootcamp" 2 male orderlies would stand there outside the shower and verbally talk them through the shower routine and then through toothbrushing. And in an hour they would do it all over again. They did this every hour for 4 hours (with an exra hour added for any refusal) for 3 days. By the end Wiz decided it was a lot less problem to bathe than to deal with that. He is pretty good about it now.

thank you has all the sensory issues with bathing. He gets his own shampoo and conditioner. I actually MIX the shampoo and conditioner because thank you has really thick wavy hair and a tender scalp. So it HURTS sometimes to shampoo his hair with-o the conditioner. And the 2 in 1 products don't work as well. He either uses Suave men's body wash (not a strong scent) or Walmart Lavendar Baby Wash on his body. He simply can't touch a soap bar at ALL. For a LONG time if he got any of the bodywash on his hand rather than the bath puff he would FREAK. Not rage, FREAK.

he won't use ANYTHING mint. He also abhors bubblegum. There is some Shreck ogre booger toothpaste he will use when I can find it. Jessie has her own toothpaste because the green slimy Shrek toothpaste is really gross looking.

heck, at 8 we had to start thank you on antiperspirant or he was intolerable after school. He never fussed about that though.

I think one of thank you's biggest problems is the eczema. I can't make him bathe every day or we end up with me having to bath him using cetaphil body wash (he will NOT touch the stuff with his hand and it doesn't work well on a puff on sore skin) and then just rinse it off FAST.

Anyway, you all have my sympathy.

Oh, on hte Tooth Tunes? My husband begged for one, so he got the Queen We Will rock you one! I had to laugh each time I saw it, esp after I caught thank you sneaking into our bathroom to use it!!! (husband was grossed out. When thank you wants to brush he is happy using EVERY toothbrush he can get his paws on!)