I'd calm down. He is simply manipulating you. If he tries to break into houses, he will simply be arrested. And you have no control over that. Do not give into that sort of emotional blackmail. He is old enough to work full time and have his own money. He is old enough to join the service and vote. He is a young man now. Is he still living with you? If so, I'd contact his parole officer and tell him about the drinking so he can be restrained from doing even worse damage to himself...sometimes jail is a safer place to be than on the streets at night. If he does not live with you, I'd let him do what he will do and learn from the natural consequences.
If he has your car, take it from him. He can do much less harm if he doesn't have a vehicle to get him easily to parties, plus since he drinks he could kill himself and others. Also, If he does live with you, call the cops if he even talks about violence. You have got to protect yourself and others in the home. You may want to think about him finding alternative living arrangements if he is still home.
Whatever your son does, he is the only one who can control his behavior. He has 100% control over himself. You have 0% control over him, but you do have 100% control over yourself, how you treat yourself and how you react to wayward son. He is past the parenting age, since he is legally an adult (I know lol, but he is). So all you can do is think about what is best for you (you matter as much as he does) and the others you care about and whether it serves yourself and your son best if you give into his threats.
If he uses drugs, which I'm guessing he does, any money you give him will go to drugs.
Be good to yourself and do what you have to do to feel safe and at peace. If that means you have to tell him to leave, with a list of shelters where he can eat and sleep, then that is what you have to do. If you would rather he stay with you, you can still lock up all your valuables and lock the doors if he comes home later than you like (change the locks/no keys for son). A few nights sleeping on the porch won't kill him. And, as I said before, it is probably safest if he not have any access to your vehicles. If he so much as threatens you with his voice, I would call the cops.
My own son had to leave at 19 for intimating me into fearing him. I had a younger child and, even if I hadn't, at the time I was a single mom and was not going to be scared in my own house, my sanctuary. Nobody has a right to abuse you, including your adult son.
Hugs and I'm so sorry you had to join our little community, but we all do understand.
