He's never going to move out

[Star*]

I'm saddened by the fact that you feel you must live by your choices. Choices are something that we can make minute to minute to improve or diminish our quality of life. While I think it's noble that you want to have a constant for Manster - I think it would be nice if YOU thought about a happier life for you.

I had to make some pretty hard decisions when I left my ex - as far as watching it "destroy" dude. But then I know NOW that had I not left - DUde would be JUST like him - because the behaviors our children witness us accepting will also be accepted in their lives. Something to think about when the words come out of your mouth that you're doing what you're doing for your son.

I too know your heart is heavy - For that my friend I am sorry. I just want you to know that you ALWAYS have choices. Individual counseling for living with an alcoholic is a choice.

Hugs & Love
Star​

 

[jbrain]

Good advice, Star. I never want to feel that I have no choices and I don't want my kids to feel that way either--living with hopelessness is a terrible thing. Also, thinking ahead, does Manster need the responsibility of being the reason you are staying in a bad marriage? If he finds out as an adult or figures it out that he is the reason you stayed it might be an awful burden to bear.

Star, your avatar makes me smile every time I see it.

Jane

 

[Jena]

ML i'm sorry i'm so late to this. I've been bouncing in and out so much more than prior due to being home.


I'm sorry your dealing, I can totally appreciate your situation with this. It def isnt' easy. I just wanted to offer some hugs. It's a difficult situation when you in your mind pretty much know where things should go, yet husband is wrapped up the way he is.

And Star yes only you!! You should write a book. I'd buy it!

 

[ML]

You amazing ladies really get to the pulse of the matter. Wow. Thank you for challenging my belief system. I also acknowledge that growing pains can be intense and I could be trying to avoid that pain but unless I face it I will never get to the other side. Lots to think about. Love to all ML