Anyone help get a place for their difficult child????
Background: My adopted difficult child is in her late twenties. She is diagnosis'd with bipolar illness. She also had brain surgery for an aneurysm. She is a little peculiar and gullible.
She has been very difficult since the beginning. We have gone above and beyond. She was in Therapy regularly as a young child through high school. On medications since perhaps age five.
She moved out when she was 19. She is on disability. She can't hold down a job for many reasons. She has horrible memory issues. But her mental illness also causes mood swings....although the medications help somewhat. Her hygiene is sometimes just so so. Many issues.
She has baggage associated with being adopted, although her psychologist told us she felt it was less than many others. Her self esteem is in the toilet. She is gullible and desperate for friendship. Bad people use her.
She use to be very argumentative and nasty with us, but now less so. If she is depressed or in a bind, she still can be nasty. And following the rules is till a struggle.
She was moving constantly...like every two months for years. At first it was mostly evictions, but later it was WEIRD mostly because she wanted to move, sometimes she was arguing with everyone, sometimes she was bored, sometimes the only areas she could afford were seriously dangerous with drug dealers all around her...super duper scary and dangerous.
Now she is renting a room in a house where the owner is a difficult child himself. And it is being foreclosed. I'm very impressed that she has been there about ten months.
So, I found a good deal on a condo and we are making an offer. She could use it and pay us rent. I honestly don't know if we will get it.
So, my friends say..probably a good idea, but make sure you establish rules if you get the condo. Hmmm. What chance do I have that she will follow them? Why am I not more happy? I think you all know the reason why. Anyone else in a similar situation? How has it worked out? Do you think it was the best overall decision? Geeez....why do I have a bit in my stomach?
Background: My adopted difficult child is in her late twenties. She is diagnosis'd with bipolar illness. She also had brain surgery for an aneurysm. She is a little peculiar and gullible.
She has been very difficult since the beginning. We have gone above and beyond. She was in Therapy regularly as a young child through high school. On medications since perhaps age five.
She moved out when she was 19. She is on disability. She can't hold down a job for many reasons. She has horrible memory issues. But her mental illness also causes mood swings....although the medications help somewhat. Her hygiene is sometimes just so so. Many issues.
She has baggage associated with being adopted, although her psychologist told us she felt it was less than many others. Her self esteem is in the toilet. She is gullible and desperate for friendship. Bad people use her.
She use to be very argumentative and nasty with us, but now less so. If she is depressed or in a bind, she still can be nasty. And following the rules is till a struggle.
She was moving constantly...like every two months for years. At first it was mostly evictions, but later it was WEIRD mostly because she wanted to move, sometimes she was arguing with everyone, sometimes she was bored, sometimes the only areas she could afford were seriously dangerous with drug dealers all around her...super duper scary and dangerous.
Now she is renting a room in a house where the owner is a difficult child himself. And it is being foreclosed. I'm very impressed that she has been there about ten months.
So, I found a good deal on a condo and we are making an offer. She could use it and pay us rent. I honestly don't know if we will get it.
So, my friends say..probably a good idea, but make sure you establish rules if you get the condo. Hmmm. What chance do I have that she will follow them? Why am I not more happy? I think you all know the reason why. Anyone else in a similar situation? How has it worked out? Do you think it was the best overall decision? Geeez....why do I have a bit in my stomach?
