I cannot be on the phone all day, everyday

Wish

Active Member
I thought she might be like this.

You are her audience. A hostage audience. Only good enough to look on her adoringly and clap at her performances.

And at times, her punching bag.

Nothing more.

You aren’t even a real person to her. Just someone she can use.

Such a punch in the gut to have that realization but I know you're right
 

Wish

Active Member
That makes sense.

Trying to create drama and make trouble.



I said it that way on purpose. Not to hurt you, but to help you realize who she really is and so that you can protect yourself.

Also, she seems to try to turn you against your other friends.

Isolate you.

So she can have you all to herself.

Abusive.

Apple, you have no idea how much you really helped me just now. I really needed to hear this. Usually when she goes off on me, I just stay silent but I stood up for myself this time.
 

Wish

Active Member
And we are done with each other. It's over. I cant make any promises because I know sometimes I get really lonely and if she reaches out to me, I have accepted her back into my life in the past. But I think this time it is it. I really do.
 

Wish

Active Member
I think what really did it for me is when you said she doesn't view me as a real person. That was always my fear to be honest. That's how I felt deep down inside this entire friendship, that I wasn't real or important to her. (I have it written in my journal quite a bit) but for someone else to say that and not even know me or her but can easily see it, it's gotta be true. I am going to have to grieve it. Wasted so much of my time and energy on someone who didn't even see me as a real PERSON. Such a fake. Such a betrayl. What kind of person strings someone along like that? It isn't right.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
I am so sorry about this. You are not alone in this. It is a common mistake.

This lady is not right. She reminds me of someone I had to "break up" with because she was always in a bad mood, always obsessing over her crappy life, and often taking her bad life out on me. I was really weak and let it go on forever.

Don't do what I did. It is no fun to talk to somebody who is always in a bad mood and using you for a sounding board for her unhappiness. Then on top of it, she has the gall to cut you off. I experienced this as well. Until SHE wanted to come back to me. She controlled this sad relationship. I let her until I just cut it off because it was the right time for me to take my power back.

Wish, the time is right for you to end this relationship with a sick woman who takes six hours of your day, gives nothing back, then has the nerve to blame you for something very trite.

Sadly I get it.

I dont know if I believe there are personality disorders or just that some people are mean.
Probably both. None of us need either of them. They can harm you, even from another state. You'd be amazed at what they can do long distance. Unfortunately, I do. My advice, which of course you don't have to take, is to block her number and end this crazy relationship. Before she seeks revenge.

I believe that we make our own life stories and they can be happy or sad. It depends on our choices. My life started out sad, but I learned how to become happy. Positive people in your life is important. Negative people bring you down. Dangerous people can ruin your life.

Please treat yourself with love and care and keep away from people that treat you badly. You don't deserve this woman. You have enough on your plate and are a kind person.

Love,light and hugs.
 

Wish

Active Member
Ok, ok ok.

This lady is not right. She reminds me of someone I had to "break up" with because she was always in a bad mood, always obsessing over her crappy love life, and often taking her bad life out on me. I was really weak and let it go on forever.

Don't do what I did. It is no fun to talk to somebody who is always in a bad mood and using g you for a sounding board for her unhappiness. Then on top of it, she has the gall to cut you off. I experienced this as well. Until SHE wanted to come back. She controlled this sad relationship. I let her until I just cut it off because it was the right time for me to take my power back.

Wish, the time is right for you to end this relationship with a sick woman who takes six hours of your day, gives nothing back, then has the nerve to blame you for something very trite.

Sadly I get it.

I do t know if I believe there are personality disorders or just that some people are mean
Probably both. None of us need either of them. They can harm you, even from another state. You'd be amazed at what they can do long distance. Unfortunately, I do. My advice, which of course you don't have to take, is to lock her number and end this crazy relationship.

I believe that we make our own life stories and they can be happyy or sad. It depends on our choices. My life started out sad, but I learned how to become happy. Positive people in your life is important. Negative people bring you down. Dangerous people can ruin your life.

Please treat yourself with love and care and keep away from people that treat you badly. You don't deserve this woman. You have enough on your plate.

Love,light and hugs.

Thank you Swot. I am so sorry you had to go through this too. It is very upsetting, isn't it? I don't ever in my life want to go through something like this again and I have to strongly evaluate why I allowed someone like that into my life, over and over and over again, and actually fix it this time.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
It was with my sister for me, so yes it hurt. Although we were related it was never good, she was never nice, and I should have ended it long ago too. But I didn't. I am not sure why.

It's over now. I am relieved.

Please remember you deserve to be treated with the same kindness you give. Take care of yourself. All of us need to remember that if we feel weird or uncomfortable or bad or controlled in a relationship then those are signs we should end it. And, yes, it hurts at first. But it gets better. I promise.

This lady of yours sounds scary. Guard your precious heart.
 
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AppleCori

Well-Known Member
And we are done with each other. It's over. I cant make any promises because I know sometimes I get really lonely and if she reaches out to me, I have accepted her back into my life in the past. But I think this time it is it. I really do.

Wish,

It’s obvious that you are a nice person—that is who these kind of people target.

You aren’t the only one. She has left a trail of destruction behind her over the years. There have been many others, male and female that she has done this to. You are far from alone.

Wish, you will have some ambivalent feelings in a few days or a week, when the sting of this particular incident has worn off. I hope that you will make a promise to yourself to stay strong and power through those feelings and not respond to her. Give yourself some time. You will need to grieve before you can move on.

If you need someone to talk to, PM me.

We don’t want you to go back into this abusive situation.

Apple
 

Wish

Active Member
Wish,

It’s obvious that you are a nice person—that is who these kind of people target.

You aren’t the only one. She has left a trail of destruction behind her over the years. There have been many others, male and female that she has done this to. You are far from alone.

Wish, you will have some ambivalent feelings in a few days or a week, when the sting of this particular incident has worn off. I hope that you will make a promise to yourself to stay strong and power through those feelings and not respond to her. Give yourself some time. You will need to grieve before you can move on.

If you need someone to talk to, PM me.

We don’t want you to go back into this abusive situation.

Apple

Apple, that was very, very kind of you. Thank you. Really. Your help and words mean a lot to me. And yes, you are right, she has done this to many others and I need to remind myself of that. And thank you so much for the offer to talk about this if I need to, I might take you up on that one day.

If you were in front of me I'd give you a really, really big hug and wouldn't let go until you told me you couldn't breathe lol. Thanks Apple.....<3 <3 <3
 

Wish

Active Member
Welp, woke up from a nap and there is the angry text message from her.

When I started to write this original post, I was writting a description of her but thought "they probably don't want to hear all this." So I kept it short and simple. But all of your radar is completely right about her and you don't even know the half of it. Personality disorders run very deep with this one, mixed in with hellacious anger issues. A bad day in her life reaches to abnormal levels almost daily with all of her crazy stories. On the same hand, she also has a very high IQ which shows. She is smart like a whip. Mix that all together, its a recipie for disaster.

To wake up to another angry message because I didn't answer the phone yesterday is enough and to get accused of ridiculous things that are the complete antithesis of the truth, I just can't do it anymore. She ended our friendship again. Great. I can't do this anymore anyway. It's a shame because her good side, is really, really good. She is a loyal, helpful friend (so am I, I give way more than I recieve, I make sure of it). I can never take that away from her . She is smart, intelligent, funny........but then there is this other side of her, like a monster and there is no reasoning with it. Anyway, that's that. I knew I wrote this whole post to begin with for a reason. I felt her getting angry and it's exactly what happened. Oh well. What can I do.

Been thinking about her recently. Not because I miss her but because of how happy I am she ended our friendship when she did. She ended our friendship on the exact day that I got sick for not answering her calls for one day :overreactsmiley:. There is NO way I could have been pressured to talk to her every single day. I couldn't barely speak for the last THREE weeks. I've mostly been communicating with everyone through text messages and written notes because my throat was in so much pain. I am so relieved that I didn't have to go through that pressure she puts on me to talk because that is the last thing I needed while batteling this monsterous sickness. I been through those pressure situations way too many times to count from her. It was a gift from GOD that we "broke up" on the same day I got sick. She would never understand that I couldn't speak, she would call me regardless. Whew, what a relief that I dodged THAT missle!

Anyway, I had to get that off of my chest.
 
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