Hugs to you, Teri.
Being a mom is hard enough without added woes.
I was talking to one of my neighbourhoods about this very thing just the other day. She has kids in the early 20's and 30's, and she's going through some issues with one of her middle children, and she said to me, "I wish I could go back to the days when they were younger". She added, "when they were acting up, I'd turn them over my knee, then plop them into their cribs".
Made perfect sense to me, because at least we were in charge when they were younger. A spanking, a change of diapers, and time in the crib. What could be more simple. We always knew where they were and we were in complete control. Peace of mind.