I think my son might be using drugs....

[comatheart]

Wow. I dont even know what to say. I think he's most definitely selling and it sounds pretty deep. I think you need to contact an attorney asap. When does your son turn 18?? I fear he could be charged as an adult if you ho to the police. Maybe that's what you need to do?? I dont know....yikes. Do you have any friends or neighbors in law enforcement you could consult "off the books" while you decide what to do?

 

[Nancy]

I agree about contacting an attorney and any relatives/friends in law enforcement.

 

[ThreeShadows]

Please be careful, he might have some associates in his drug dealing business. I would call the police, I know it's hard but you need to protect yourself.

 

[BusynMember]

He may not only be a dealer, but he may be selling other items hot or stealing items from stores or other people. His fake credit cards could land him in big time trouble.

You have no choice now. Time to get all this stuff together, sit him down, and confront him with it, demanding he get help and cutting off all of his "toys" that allow him to sell this stuff. That includes the car. He shouldn't have access to it. Do you think he could be stealing from work? I knew a kid who did that and, whoa, did he get into trouble once he was caught. He stole items and money from the cash register and he was only sixteen or seventeen, but he ended up in a residential treatment center.

Your son is not who you think he is. Don't feel too bad. None of our kids were who we thought they were. Drug users are very deceptive and quite good at playing the game. At this point, if it were me, I'd call the cops so that he could face the consequences as well as get the help he needs before he turns eighteen, when you will not have much control. If you don't confront him and force him to face hard consequences, he could end up in jail soon without your being able to do anything.

This is beyond what my daughter did. She never had a lot of money on her. Your son is dabbling in things with dangerous people who could threaten or take his life. You MUST turn him in to protect him. Don't make excuses for going through his room. Do not let him guilt you. This is on him.

You may want to check his cell plhone messages and Facebook to get an even clearer picture. The more you know, as hard as it is to learn, the more you can help him. H emay be in danger because of whom he is associating with and YOU may be too. Change those locks! If possible, get an alarm on your house. Your son is playing with fire.

I would certainly not be planning for him to go away to college next year. I would worry about getting him help NOW and worrying about his education later.

I am soooooooooooooo sorry about this, but it is honestly better for him and even for you to know. I highly recommend going to a Nar-Anon meeting so you can get real time support from parents who know what you are going through.

Keep posting as we understand. You will find that most people really DON'T get it. People at Nar-Anon meetings do get it. This just isn't something you can confide to just anyone.

 

[comatheart]

Please check in with us when you can!

 

[wittynitty88]

Yes he is selling. Those chemicals that look alien-like to you are Research Chemicals. I'm only familiar with the 5-meo series incliding 5-meo-DMT. These chemicals are tryptamines, and resemble LSD or mushroom like "visuals" or hallucinations. The phones, cash, wire transfers are pretty blatant aswell.

 

[toughlovin]

I have been thinking about you.... this is a very tough and scary situation. As much as it might be the right thing to do, I dont think my first step would be calling the police. It sounds like from your post that until now your son has been a pretty good kid, so you dont have a lot of history with real misbehavior on his part. Given that I think my first step would be to confront him with what I had found. I agree with the idea of having someone there with you when you do it... just for your own safety. I think your son will be angry about what he will see as your invasion of his privacy, and if he is really using a lot, his behavior could be volatile. I dont think you have anything to be sorry for by the way, you had cause to worry, it is your house and I think you were right to search given the circumstances and what you found.

I think depending on how your son reacts will determine your next step. I think it is important to remember that he may lie to you about what is going on, so have your BS radar up and running in full force. However given that he has generally been a good kid, he may know he is in over his head and not know what to do about it... and so may have some relief that you now know. I think it is important to let him know you love him no matter what, but something has to be done you cannot continue to let this go on in your house.

Keep us posted.

TL

 

[DDD]

I have been thinking about you.... this is a very tough and scary situation. As much as it might be the right thing to do, I dont think my first step would be calling the police. It sounds like from your post that until now your son has been a pretty good kid, so you dont have a lot of history with real misbehavior on his part. Given that I think my first step would be to confront him with what I had found. I agree with the idea of having someone there with you when you do it... just for your own safety. I think your son will be angry about what he will see as your invasion of his privacy, and if he is really using a lot, his behavior could be volatile. I dont think you have anything to be sorry for by the way, you had cause to worry, it is your house and I think you were right to search given the circumstances and what you found.

I think depending on how your son reacts will determine your next step. I think it is important to remember that he may lie to you about what is going on, so have your BS radar up and running in full force. However given that he has generally been a good kid, he may know he is in over his head and not know what to do about it... and so may have some relief that you now know. I think it is important to let him know you love him no matter what, but something has to be done you cannot continue to let this go on in your house.

Keep us posted.

TL

 

[DDD]

I am sending supportive thoughts your way....I wish I had "the" answer to offer you. Reading your first post I immediately thought "dealer" because I too had a difficult child who used his high IQ, popularity, charm and good looks to become a "big dog" in our small community. There is an arrogance and confidence that goes with becoming a young dealer. Sadly they don't realize that the "higher ups" are not playing games and getting out of the business is not easy. What you found is $$$'s to the drug bosses and you rarely can just say "gee I need to get out of this...here are your drugs back".

Although some have suggested contacting the police I would not make that choice in our community. I had a relative in law enforcement who verified my fears but could not/would not participate further due to concerns about his own position. Find a criminal defense attorney who will provide you with a free consultation. Good luck. DDD

 

[busywend]

This is BIG TIME dealing. Call the police. It is for his safety as well as the rest of your household.

 

[DammitJanet]

I think he is dealing and since you dont see much change in him, I think he is strictly dealing. Most drug users who also deal cant keep up that sort of cash because they consume the profits.

 

[MommaMia]

I am sorry you are going through this. You need to get him help ASAP. We were stunned to find out our daughter drank, since we don't drink. But she is drinking, and at 14 has become very sneaky and manipulative. In the parenting group we attend for addicts, all the stories are similar from parents. From initial shock, to severe depression, then anger followed by acceptance.

Many parents were shocked to find out that their children not only use but deal also. I do urge you to get your son drug tested and into rehab. You don't want him dealing and using when he is 18, he will face much tougher consequences. We learned this in our parenting group also. Some of the possible drugs you posted here that you found sound like muscle relaxers, benzo. and other prescription drugs, if I were to take a guess.

I wish you the best, please keep us posted.