Hello there,
Well I'll try to recap my situation as short as possible. I'm desperate for any parental advice from other parents like me.
I'm a divorced single mom of 3- my son 18 (just turned 18 and graduated high school this year) and two girls 16 and 12. I have always been very close to my kids- all of them would confide in me about life issues, drugs, grades, and dating issues. I am a teacher and have always spent my summers off with them. I was the PTA mom, soccer coach, baseball board member....very involved. All of my kids are very loving, bright, very high IQ scores, and also suffered a tragic divorce 4 years ago. I left their father after the last time of physical abuse.
Since my divorce my ex has slowly distanced himself from all the kids with odd actions. (like inappropriate behaviors and blackmailing the kids if they didn't do this or that). However, he treated my son like a buddy and would confide in him for advice and tell him stories about me (some totally made up and others spun to make him look like a hero or victim). My son even had a melt down in Feb. this year because he told me his dad was lying to him and he caught him making up odd stories about me being mentally ill and having affairs. My two daughters, after this situation, have now cut their dad out completely after trying to speak to their dad about their concern for their brother and getting no help. Yes- myself and kids are in therapy.
My son- he was 5150'd last week on Thursday- told they extended it another 14 days. He stated he wanted to kill himself to his girlfriend after 100 phone calls and texts within a few hours. He said he had a gun and was going to shoot himself. This was the 2nd time he did this that week so the girl called the police. The girlfriend called me each time because his father wouldn't answer the phone. I told her to call the police- as what else could I do?
My son had a problem with wax (synthetic THC made with butane) 2 years ago. He attended a public school and was depressed. Once I figured this out I needed to save him. I put in therapy, got him a psychiatrist, and moved him to an all boys private hs. He didn't hang out with his old friends for a year and had new ones. He flourished at this school academically- but completely stopped playing baseball which he loved and was very good at and played since he was 5. So I figured fine- he can just work part-time or play other sport (I was thinking to keep him busy- out of trouble). The next 2 years he was emotional on days, being treated for ADHD, and regularly attended his therapy and school. However, he became very lazy. He just wanted to chill and hang with friends and not work or play sports. His once vibrant personality was slowly fading. He still was very charismatic and sweet to his sisters, teacher, and usually me. He began to distance himself from his dad. I thought it was a normal phase and overall he was getting better- at least off drugs.
This year at the end of senior year April 1st actually he started to date a girl that was his best friend's girlfriend. He experienced stress at school because of this. He completely fell in love with her or was obsessed/in lust. She made it clear to him she didn't want a boyfriend but they could hang out. Since then his obsession with her started to make him full of rage at times. He started to steal from me to buy drugs for her and presents. He started using again. He started using acid, NyQuil, LSD....he started lying to me everyday and ditching school to be with her. He would no show to pick up his sister's from school. On May 12th (her birthday) he had a 10pm curfew. He picked a fight with me (he became violent and pushed me and tried to push me but punched a wall) and left my home all night to be with her. I think he was desperate as she was out with another guy. He went to his father's house (it's garage he lives in and my kids have never slept there before). He has not returned since.
Since then he refuses to speak to me. He states that I am responsible for everything and is now listening to his dad again- he is under his control completely. His father's only messages to me were that I did all this and I need to stop harassing my son. (once agin I have no contact with my son) He refuses to see me or the girls at the mental hospital. I suspect his and his dad's statements at family group in the mental facility are the reason he extended 14 days longer today- they both stated that I somehow hacked his phone and sent the suicidal texts to the girl and he did not. That I somehow did this- not him. At least according to my grandfather and dad who were there.
I am so very worried about my son. I learned he did not detox when he arrived on the 5150 and didn't have much in his system. So now I am worried he has some sort of mental issue (bipolar?).
Has anyone else experienced this? I just don't know what else to do. My dad feels that I am his scapegoat and he won't get help till I have nothing to do with him (like decline the girlfriends calls as that was my only connection to him).
Please help
Well I'll try to recap my situation as short as possible. I'm desperate for any parental advice from other parents like me.
I'm a divorced single mom of 3- my son 18 (just turned 18 and graduated high school this year) and two girls 16 and 12. I have always been very close to my kids- all of them would confide in me about life issues, drugs, grades, and dating issues. I am a teacher and have always spent my summers off with them. I was the PTA mom, soccer coach, baseball board member....very involved. All of my kids are very loving, bright, very high IQ scores, and also suffered a tragic divorce 4 years ago. I left their father after the last time of physical abuse.
Since my divorce my ex has slowly distanced himself from all the kids with odd actions. (like inappropriate behaviors and blackmailing the kids if they didn't do this or that). However, he treated my son like a buddy and would confide in him for advice and tell him stories about me (some totally made up and others spun to make him look like a hero or victim). My son even had a melt down in Feb. this year because he told me his dad was lying to him and he caught him making up odd stories about me being mentally ill and having affairs. My two daughters, after this situation, have now cut their dad out completely after trying to speak to their dad about their concern for their brother and getting no help. Yes- myself and kids are in therapy.
My son- he was 5150'd last week on Thursday- told they extended it another 14 days. He stated he wanted to kill himself to his girlfriend after 100 phone calls and texts within a few hours. He said he had a gun and was going to shoot himself. This was the 2nd time he did this that week so the girl called the police. The girlfriend called me each time because his father wouldn't answer the phone. I told her to call the police- as what else could I do?
My son had a problem with wax (synthetic THC made with butane) 2 years ago. He attended a public school and was depressed. Once I figured this out I needed to save him. I put in therapy, got him a psychiatrist, and moved him to an all boys private hs. He didn't hang out with his old friends for a year and had new ones. He flourished at this school academically- but completely stopped playing baseball which he loved and was very good at and played since he was 5. So I figured fine- he can just work part-time or play other sport (I was thinking to keep him busy- out of trouble). The next 2 years he was emotional on days, being treated for ADHD, and regularly attended his therapy and school. However, he became very lazy. He just wanted to chill and hang with friends and not work or play sports. His once vibrant personality was slowly fading. He still was very charismatic and sweet to his sisters, teacher, and usually me. He began to distance himself from his dad. I thought it was a normal phase and overall he was getting better- at least off drugs.
This year at the end of senior year April 1st actually he started to date a girl that was his best friend's girlfriend. He experienced stress at school because of this. He completely fell in love with her or was obsessed/in lust. She made it clear to him she didn't want a boyfriend but they could hang out. Since then his obsession with her started to make him full of rage at times. He started to steal from me to buy drugs for her and presents. He started using again. He started using acid, NyQuil, LSD....he started lying to me everyday and ditching school to be with her. He would no show to pick up his sister's from school. On May 12th (her birthday) he had a 10pm curfew. He picked a fight with me (he became violent and pushed me and tried to push me but punched a wall) and left my home all night to be with her. I think he was desperate as she was out with another guy. He went to his father's house (it's garage he lives in and my kids have never slept there before). He has not returned since.
Since then he refuses to speak to me. He states that I am responsible for everything and is now listening to his dad again- he is under his control completely. His father's only messages to me were that I did all this and I need to stop harassing my son. (once agin I have no contact with my son) He refuses to see me or the girls at the mental hospital. I suspect his and his dad's statements at family group in the mental facility are the reason he extended 14 days longer today- they both stated that I somehow hacked his phone and sent the suicidal texts to the girl and he did not. That I somehow did this- not him. At least according to my grandfather and dad who were there.
I am so very worried about my son. I learned he did not detox when he arrived on the 5150 and didn't have much in his system. So now I am worried he has some sort of mental issue (bipolar?).
Has anyone else experienced this? I just don't know what else to do. My dad feels that I am his scapegoat and he won't get help till I have nothing to do with him (like decline the girlfriends calls as that was my only connection to him).
Please help
