I'm upset!!!!!

[DammitJanet]

Melissa in the army? LMAO...Im howling here. And she doesnt know if she would stick with it? Ummmm...it isnt a job she can quit. They kinda own you. Oh that would be too rich. You know...I can just see her doing that as shock value to you guys. Cutting off her nose to spite her face. Hehehe.

 

[Sue C]

Well, husband and I had a mild argument earlier about not having a plan B. I couldn't pin him down and he got mad. :frown:

After that, Melissa called while husband was out working in his shop. She was talking bezerk. husband came in and when phone rang again, I made him answer it. He told her if we go to pick her up this afternoon and she starts in on us, he will drop everything where it is and leave. I can't picturing him following through, but we shall see. He told her she has to act nice while living here. She said she couldn't guarantee that. He told her she needed to try. She said she would try but probably couldn't. (sigh)

husband talked with me afterwards. He says she needs to hit rock bottom (good that he sees that). He said that if we end up kicking her out or she leaves on her own and he never sees her again, he does not care. Neither of us needs this kind of stress in our lives at this point. She's 21. Aren't we supposed to start having fun ourselves?

Well, we are leaving soon to pick her up. Wish us luck.
Sue

 

[PonyGirl]

:smile: LUCK :warrior:

Peace

 

[Suz]

[ QUOTE ]
husband talked with me afterwards. He says she needs to hit rock bottom (good that he sees that). He said that if we end up kicking her out or she leaves on her own and he never sees her again, he does not care. Neither of us needs this kind of stress in our lives at this point. She's 21. Aren't we supposed to start having fun ourselves?


[/ QUOTE ]

Sue, my only advice is not to bother doing or saying anything that you and husband won't follow through on. Talk is cheap. It's obvious by her actions and the way she talks to you that Melissa doesn't believe either of you anymore. Prove her wrong.

You guys know what you need to do. Do you have the courage to do it?

Hugs,
Suz

 

[catwoman]

Sue, I understand your fears, but as hard as it is you need to LET GO. If she has to get a job why are YOU looking in the want ads? If she chooses to "take the jail time" will you let her? I know I wouldn't have. I talked a good game but my difficult child knew that I worried too much about him to let that happen. As his mother I always saw him as the victim. When I was finally forced to let him go, stopped bailing him out of every mess he got into and face ALL the consequences of his actions he came through just fine. It wasn't easy, he was 16 at the the time and he is still very angry with me, but he's clean, sober and working. I don't mean to sound hard or judgmental, I just know how hard it is.

 

[KFld]

I don't like how she admits she doesn't know if she can be nice to you and follow the rules in order to live home. I think I would have said to her, if you can't commit to those few things we are asking, then you can't come home. I feel sorry for you and husband because I don't see this going well at all.

 

[rejectedmom]

I too don't see this as a positive thing for any of you. by the way let her know that even if she does the jail time she still has to pay the fines when she gets out. it isn't an either/or thing ans she will most likly have an even larger fine if she chooses jail. -RM

 

[DammitJanet]

Karen...I picked up on that same thing. We have shades of that same thing here because husband wont put his foot firmly down with Cory "because of the baby." Argh. He screams and yells and acts like it is me that is capitulating but its not. Its him. In fact, I read an instant message he had with a friend of mine where she asked him why he didnt kick cory out and he said it was because of the baby. Hmmm.

So I guess we are held hostage to his bad behavior until this child is 18? I will leave first.

 

[Sue C]

Well, we picked Melissa up yesterday and she was obviously crabby. I think part of it was the embarrassment of leaving; just a guess. She tried engaging us a few times, but husband and I ignored her and just went about the task of moving her things into the truck and she immediately stopped. Here's an interesting thing--husband and Melissa got off the elevator while Brandon was standing there waiting to get on. husband said Brandon did not even look at them or say hi.

This morning she asked if I would type up her Resume. I didn't mind, as I wanted it to look good 'cuz we want this girl to have a full-time job ASAP. She emailed a pet boarding place for a pet boarding assistant job. She mailed a resume to a pet grooming school for a receptionist job. She asked me to ride along in a little while so she could fill out applications for tellers at 2 banks in town. She also wants to stop at the pet store and see if they need any help. She said she was also considering doing caregiving for the elderly. She also said she was seriously considering the Army or Marines (Marines 'cuz Grandpa was one, she says).

She is calm as can be today. She was calm at home last night. She is so night and day, she does not seem like the same person, but this happens all the time.

Brandon called her this morning and got her upset, though. I wish he'd leave her alone. This was the perfect opportunity for him to get her out of his life entirely, but he knows she still wants him. (sigh) At least she got over being upset pretty quickly.

Well, she's ready to leave. She is getting more job prospects than me. I need part-time and am having a difficult time finding them.

Sue