Is it accepted for a seven year old to change infant diapers/bathe infant?

[susiestar]

with parent supervision, esp in the bath, I have no problem with it. Jessi was about that age when Tyler was born and she diapered him quite well. Used a ton of wipes, and we never had her do the messy diapers, but she would BEG to change him, put his clothes on (that took FOREVER and sometimes he looked very uncoordinated, but so what? Neither of them minded!), feed him, read to him, etc... But I was ALWAYS near the action to supervise. For giving Tyler a bath, I didn't let them be alone, but I did let her get into the tub with him either in the baby tub and her in the reg tub with both of them filled with water or once he could sit up, he had a chair thingy to keep him from falling over and she would play with him. Both had fun and she helped wash his hair, etc.. By the time Tyler was 9 mos old, Jessi was better at keeping soap out of his eyes than husband was, lol!

But I knew families where 7 or8 year old kids gave baths alone, or cooked alone. Each family has its' own rules and patterns, but I would worry about drowning so I would supervise very closely in a bath.

In your son' case, he needs to put it out of his mind. There is NOTHING he can do about what his exwife sets for their son's chores. Worrying about it solves nothing.

 

[BusynMember]

My son is afraid the baby will get hurt and his son will feel guilty. He bathes him alone and clearly does not like it. There is no reason his mother can't do it or at least supervise him. But I guess some kids do it and even enjoy it, which I can see with an adult around.

Thanks, Susie.

 

[Copabanana]

Hi Serenity,

I am still horrified by this. Absolutely I agree with Bart. I would be afraid, too, for Junior.

I have never seen a situation where a 7 year old had sole responsibility for a bathing a baby.

I remember when I would bathe my son, when he was even 3 or 4. If there was a reason that I had to race outside of the bathroom and did not have eyes on him every second, I was always scared. Things happen quickly.

The mother sounds like a terrible person. I am so glad for Bart and Junior that things are going there way. I really do not like this person. Does she have even one redeeming feature?

COPA

 

[BusynMember]

Hi Serenity,

I am still horrified by this. Absolutely I agree with Bart. I would be afraid, too, for Junior.

I have never seen a situation where a 7 year old had sole responsibility for a bathing a baby.

I remember when I would bathe my son, when he was even 3 or 4. If there was a reason that I had to race outside of the bathroom and did not have eyes on him every second, I was always scared. Things happen quickly.

The mother sounds like a terrible person. I am so glad for Bart and Junior that things are going there way. I really do not like this person. Does she have even one redeeming feature?

COPA

 

[BusynMember]

Well. I dont know of any...lol.

 

[BusynMember]

My son is a boy's boy and not a "little father." He has no interest in changing a poopy diaper or giving this under one year old baby a bath and I would have NEVER allowed a child that young to take care of my babies. So I find it neglectful, even abusive, unless it is wanted and Mom is there in case of an accident. It never crossed my mind. Bart was seven when Princess came into our family and it didn't even cross my mind not to do everything myself. Bart and Goneboy had chores, but not taking care of the baby. That was my job.

My own opinion is that Junior is not lying. He does not play the parents against one another. He is a timid boy, quite nervous and afraid of his mother and does not usually tell his father what goes on at her house, except the time stepfather slapped him across the face at Disneyland. So I choose to think he's telling the truth, based on his history.

I also feel that leaving a seven year old to bath a ten year old in the bathtub is highly dangerous. The mother is not particularly overwhelmed and only has two kids (half the time she has Junior). She is just lazy and always has been. She allegedly desperately wanted her second baby, but she does not want to change or dress him or bathe him. Most mother who love their babies...it seems they would want to be the one to nurture their little one.

But this thinking is compatible with my own upbringing and values so I could definitely be wrong. But this is not a "I like to take care of baby with mom" situation. She delegates most adult chores to her henpecked husband, but he is only home about half the time too...his job takes him away.

I worry about my grandson. He has bounced around since age four when Mom ran off with a man from Match that she eventually married. And it bothers me that a stepfather feels he can slap my grandson. My son never hits me and his mother never used to either. And hitting the face is dangerous.

Again JMO>

 

[Copabanana]

My own opinion is that Junior is not lying.

It never crossed my mind that Junior was lying.

I too thought he was afraid. Appropriately so. I think he is afraid of his mother. And it spills over.

COPA

 

[BusynMember]

Hes very afraid of her. So am I...lol.

 

[svengandhi]

daughter was not quite 7 1/2 when babyboy was born. He was her third younger brother. She would sometimes change his diaper for me but not when it was really messy. She never bathed him alone but sometimes, when he was sitting up on his own, she would get into the tub with him in her bathing suit and give him a bath with me or H supervising. They are 24 and 16 now and get along great. She never took care of the 2 other younger brothers other than to feed them or help them get dressed.

 

[forkeeps251]

No, to either one of those things... at least without direct supervision.
Bathing is obvious... and at five months can the baby even sit up unassisted? That is just plain dangerous. I have an almost two year old and would trust no one but myself or my husband to bath her (we also have a 10 and 13 yo).
As far as the diaper is concerned, that is less of an issue but still an issue. Pee, ok... maybe. But a dirty diaper? 7 year olds are not the most hygienic people out there, typically... especially boys. Without proper handwashing, wiping and cleaning it could very well have some unintended effects. My oldest son got shigella from improper hand washing at daycare.

 

[Pink Elephant]

I didn't help bathe siblings until I was much older (teen years), but I did change diapers (lots of diapers), but not as a result of being forced to. Mom never imposed that upon me (ever). For me it was about offering and doing. I wanted to be involved in their daily care, because it made me feel mature and grown-up.

I would have been age 10 or 11 when I started bathing sibs... and around age 7 or 8 when I started changing diapers, and I changed both wet-wets and dirties, and I'm not talking Pampers! LOL

Oldest daughter was excited as could be when her last baby sibling came along, and being old enough to help, I taught her how feed and change the baby, and by age 10, her baby brother was in his two's, and daughter regularly took it upon herself to check and change his diapers, but not once did I ever demand such from her.

 

[JRC]

I haven't read everyones replies. Excuse me if I'm repeating.

If the 7 year old is supervised during changing and bathing, yes, it's okay. If not supervised ABSOLUTELY NOT.

 

[BusynMember]

He isnt. Hes expected to do it on his own and give the baby a bath too, which is even riskier.And feed him. But his mother is very lazy. This little boy is my grandson and ls with my son 50% of the time and is now 9. He is very afraid of his mom and her husband and says he hates his brother. Its a sad situation at moms house. He does not feel loved.

 

[Pink Elephant]

He isnt. Hes expected to do it on his owm and give tje baby a bath too, which is even riskier. But his mother is very lazy. This little boy os woth my son 50% of the time and is now 9. He is very afraid of his mom and her husband and says he hates his brother. Its a sad siruation at moms house. He does not feel loved.

How utterly heartbreaking. I can't imagine a mom possessing such a lack of (basic) common sense. I had one of my kids slip from my grasp one evening while lifting him out of the tub. He was a tiny little thing, but all it took was a quick kick and thrust (on his part), and whoosh, he was gone. My heart stopped, yet I was able to react automatically, instinctively, reaching out in vain for whatever part of him I could latch onto. Luck was on my side, as I caught him by one ankle and that kid swung back my way like a pendulum when I did, his fragile little head narrowly missing the edge of the tub. I broke down, and for the longest time after suffered from anxiety whenever bath-time neared.

I remember my mom teaching me to leave the baby's diaper on at bath-time, that way you had something firm to latch onto. I practiced that method for years and years, but as time goes on, you tend to get somewhat cocky. As a mom you do things so repetitively, so automatically... what possibly could go wrong? There's no way a young child would have been able to react with the speed I did that day, nor would a young have had the strength I did.

In all the time I had little babies in the home, no one was allowed to give a bath aside from me.

 

[kim75062]

I think it depends on the child. My daughters where 7 and 12 when baby brother was born. The 12 year old was over the cute little baby brother stage by the time he was a month old lol. So changing a diaper was a much hated job for her.

The 7 year old look at him as the coolest real life baby doll she'd ever seen. She wanted to change diapers. As a newborn I was right there superving within arms reach. I'm also a huge worrier. I would say at around 6-7 months when he was able to sit upright in a secure bath seat with no problems I would allow his soon to be 8 year old sister watch him play in the tub. Obviously I would wash him etc. and if she wanted to watch him splash around for a little while I had no problem with it. But I was always close by with the bathroom door open to hear her scream "MOM I'm bored now" usually within 10 minutes as she has ADHD lol

 

[Pink Elephant]

When I was about 11, I babysat a friend's baby sister. Everything was fine. The baby turned up with a wound from a pin (that was before disposable diapers). The mother accused me.

It was cloth diapers in our house and my mom (for quite sometime) supervised me when I was first learning how to diaper, to ensure I was handling the pins safely. She'd stand at one end of the crib, her one arm cocked at the elbow with a cigarette between her fingers as she watched.

 

[BusynMember]

My grandson a boy and maybe thays why he had no interest in taking care of his baby brother as his mom will scream at him if the baby so much as groans. My grandson is my sons child. The baby is her husbands child and to say grandson is treated like a second rate person is downplaying it. My son has 50/50 custody and is always in court because she keeps trying to get full custody. She doesnt want him to see his father, who is kind to him. It wont happen. Missouri law is a firm 50/50 state but the child is especially scared of stepfather.
Nobody supervises my grandson in his care of dressing, diapering or bathing brother. He is starting to resent his brother. He says "hes not even my brother. Hes just my half brother." And even "i dont even matter there. I hate them all." And he will cry to my son. And me when we Skype.

 

[Pink Elephant]

My grandson a boy and maybe thays why he had no interest in taking care of his baby brother as his mom will scream at him if the baby so much as groans. My grandson is my sons child. The baby is her husbands child and to say grandson is treated like a second rate person is downplaying it. My son has 50/50 custody and is always in court because she keeps trying to get full custody. She doesnt want him to see his father, who is kind to him. It wont happen. Missouri law is a firm 50/50 state but the child is especially scared of stepfather.
Nobody supervises my grandson in his care of dressing, diapering or bathing brother. He is starting to resent his brother. He says "hes not even my brother. Hes just my half brother." And even "i dont even matter there. I hate them all." And he will cry to my son. And me when we Skype.

Imposing or relegating baby-care duties to older siblings simply isn't right, not on any level. in my opinion it echoes laziness and reflects a lack of maturity and responsibility.

When I was in junior high, one of my best friends had a baby sister, and she used to have to babysit her all the time, and to this day she still carries with her resentment attached to those years. She missed drive-in movies, parties, and other social happenings because of it.

 

[BusynMember]

My grandson is luckier as my son will give him a childhood. They share custody.

I dont think young kids should have to do a parental job either. And sons ex IS lazy!

 

[Pink Elephant]

My grandson is luckier as my son will give him a childhood. They share custody.

I dont think young kids should have to do a parental job either. And sons ex IS lazy!

It warms me inside knowing this. I remember bantering and badgering my mom to change diapers when I was really young (too young to tackle the duty), so my mom gave me the job of pulling the rubber pants off at change-time. That's how I got started, oh, and holding the safety pins.