LostinTranslation77
New Member
My son is 42, living in his car, about to be repossessed. Was a family man, owned a house, with a great job but left his wife and kids about 6 years ago, because...unhappy. Made another baby right after leaving, with new girlfriend, but she left him during the beginning of the pandemic and took the child to another state. Thousands spent trying to help him. He suddenly can't find a job and keep it. Not sure if drugs or other addictions are involved since I don't see him as much, but I suspect - there have been signs and info from others. He's very secretive. Temper tantrums, etc. Only calls for $$$. After I give him the money, I get the silent treatment for days/ weeks till he needs more.
He stopped seeing his kid. Blames exes for that and us for his pain/hurts. I offer to host children (they live 2.5 hrs away and it's hard to schedule) but he gets mad about that, thinking he should be having them no matter what. Mad at his ex and me for even talking. But makes no effort to see them except on a whim maybe once a year. Doesn't call or reach out regular. Won't accept responsibility for tearing the family apart! When I see him, which is only every 3 mos or so, he looks very well-groomed so not sure if he's homeless like he says or lying. I've paid for apartments, rooms, hotels, food, gas, clothes, goods, etc. He's been evicted twice. Couch surfing til friends/acquaintances tired of him.
Conversations always end up about his exes, very unpleasant and won't listen to reason or compromise or talk of anything else! I offer more permanent things, links, goods, to move him forward and to be closer to us but he doesn't follow through. The "I'm hungry, cold and living in my car' phone calls wear me down! He says things like "I can't believe you're going to let me die here" Or "here's my location so you can let the police know where my body is!" What is this? Who is this?! I thought I was a decent parent. He was raised with love. We did much as a family, outdoors, plenty of friends and family, decent school grades, sports, etc. He had some issues as a young adult (raves, etc) but turned out to be a good man.
(My husband, his SF, is not on board anymore, tried a few times with poor results - he says he's a grown man, disagreeable and not humble or grateful. Thinks drugs, etc are involved. Says my son is always about himself and treats me with disrespect. He helped me raise him from a young age, was supportive and loving. Bio dad paid no child support, not interested, selfish and inconsistent, passed away 3 years ago, during pandemic - my son took it hard even though they had been estranged and his bio dad in another state). My son is the last thing I think about before sleep and the first thing I think of when waking up. Why do I have such guilt saying no?
He stopped seeing his kid. Blames exes for that and us for his pain/hurts. I offer to host children (they live 2.5 hrs away and it's hard to schedule) but he gets mad about that, thinking he should be having them no matter what. Mad at his ex and me for even talking. But makes no effort to see them except on a whim maybe once a year. Doesn't call or reach out regular. Won't accept responsibility for tearing the family apart! When I see him, which is only every 3 mos or so, he looks very well-groomed so not sure if he's homeless like he says or lying. I've paid for apartments, rooms, hotels, food, gas, clothes, goods, etc. He's been evicted twice. Couch surfing til friends/acquaintances tired of him.
Conversations always end up about his exes, very unpleasant and won't listen to reason or compromise or talk of anything else! I offer more permanent things, links, goods, to move him forward and to be closer to us but he doesn't follow through. The "I'm hungry, cold and living in my car' phone calls wear me down! He says things like "I can't believe you're going to let me die here" Or "here's my location so you can let the police know where my body is!" What is this? Who is this?! I thought I was a decent parent. He was raised with love. We did much as a family, outdoors, plenty of friends and family, decent school grades, sports, etc. He had some issues as a young adult (raves, etc) but turned out to be a good man.
(My husband, his SF, is not on board anymore, tried a few times with poor results - he says he's a grown man, disagreeable and not humble or grateful. Thinks drugs, etc are involved. Says my son is always about himself and treats me with disrespect. He helped me raise him from a young age, was supportive and loving. Bio dad paid no child support, not interested, selfish and inconsistent, passed away 3 years ago, during pandemic - my son took it hard even though they had been estranged and his bio dad in another state). My son is the last thing I think about before sleep and the first thing I think of when waking up. Why do I have such guilt saying no?
