It’s been awhile but I’m back

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Maybe take him to talk to a normal pastor in a normal church. I am sure that he is not hearing anything good when he visits those people. He may be more positive if he is told about God's goodness and not focusing on badness. I don't know what part I feel drugs may have to do with all of this, but I would encourage him to see a psychiatrist (the one with the MD) if this were my kid and if he were willing to seek help.

I am wondering how much going off of drugs abruptly may be causing instability. I really don't know.

I feel so badly for your son and you. Your son is trying! Good for him! Praying for both of you.

Meanwhile, please, for your sake, try not to live with him in your head. Move on and do things for yourself. There is one person we can control....just ourselves.

Hugs and lots of love.
 

Littleboylost

Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
Just catching up. I do so hope he finds some structure and discipline in the Cost Guard. That’s such a great turn of events. Here is to brighter days ahead.
 

Enmeshedmom

Active Member
Well, unfortunately just before his date for Meps the recruiter called and said the meps doctor wanted 10 years of medical records before he could get his physical. He got right on the phone and had the forms emailed to him and he promptly filled them out and went to staples to fax them, gets another date for meps and is all excited to go. Again recruiter calls and says they want 10 years pharmacy records. He runs around and find out they only can give him two years at the pharmacy and he had to request 10 years by mail. He did that and waited almost two weeks for those and now he is waiting for another date while they resubmit his paper work. He has jumped through all the hoops so far but I feel like his resolve is starting to fade and I’m afraid he will slip back into old behaviors. Hopefully he has another date by the beginning of next week and it isn’t a month away.
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
So glad he is sticking with this though so far. Keep us posted on how things go. I think this could be great for him!!
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
Keep us posted, Enmeshedmom, please. I can't believe these twists and turns. Well, I can, but my head is spinning. We just have to try to trust that his push forward is rooted in some basic healthy place and will continue.
 

Enmeshedmom

Active Member
Well, it’s been a long road but on Monday I dropped my ds off at the hotel for his early Tuesday morning departure to boot camp. He had to quarantine for two weeks prior to leaving and we spent that time cleaning out his room and making sure he had all his favorite foods before he left. He told me many times how much he was going to miss my cooking. We found out the Thursday before he left that he will not be home after graduation and we can’t go, there might be a livestream. At that point it took everything in me not to beg him to stay. He was soooo nervous and I could not let it show that I was too. I slept through the night for the first time since he left last night. When I dropped him off he hugged me and said “I hope I can make it through this.” Now it’s time to for me to deal with my major issues of codependency where he is concerned. I’m finding it extremely difficult to get through the day right now without feeling sick with worry. I just keep reminding myself what he stands to gain by doing this and that he chose this path and did a lot of hard work to get here.
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
Great news Enmeshed Mom. Congratulations to you and to him. The gains he has made can't be erased. They came from deep inside of him. (And you.) Every day is like a new workout to identify and to strengthen the muscle of separation and detachment and to identify and strengthen the muscle of independent self. It's the same for all of us. We do it here together.
 
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