jail/no jail

[Jody]

She went to school, and when we got to school and she got out of the car, she realized that she didnt have her back pack. She assumed that I would drive all the way back out of town to take her to forget it. Um, I had my knee injection appointment in about 15 minutes from that time. Told her to go on in to school, there was nothing that I could do about it, she slammed the door and hit my window. I wanted to say, made sure you had makeup, hair straightened and all glamour stuff, but not your homework, I didn't I kept my mouth shut and just drove off.

Last night she thought since I had the phone turned off, she would get on my laptop, laptop was with me barricaded in the bedroom, as well as the house phone. Thank goodness for you guys, or I probably would have lost it last night.

 

[TeDo]

While she's gone, make some calls and get some help. Call CPS or a mental health social worker. She needs to be somewhere else. You don't feel safe, you're fearful of you life. Spend the day finding somewhere to go when school gets out. Good luck. by the way, I am sooooo glad you are ok. I really hope it stays that way. Take care of yourself!

 

[StressedM0mma]

Jody, I just got on this morning. I am so sorry that you had to go through this last night. I am with TeDo on this, call CPS, or her psychiatrist and tell them you fear for your safety around her. You should not have to live in you new home (or any home for that matter) and be afraid of your child. Hugs. I hope this gets sorted out.

 

[cubsgirl]

((hugs)). I agree with calling psychiatrist or case worker or someone who can help you. You should not be afraid in your own home.

 

[greenrene]

You did the right thing - no way in hades would I even think about turning the wifi/phone/whatever back on ANYTIME soon, and no way would I turn around for a backpack. Please get some sort of plan in place today. You have a right to feel secure in your own home.

 

[Tiapet]

Jody...I want to throw something out here to you for you to think on and yes, it's a quick thing to even test out...My son has violent rages. They get 100% WORSE as he has a food allergy to corn (which is in just about everything since there are derivatives under many names). I first discovered this with my oldest difficult child (who is 21 now). The violence you are experiencing "might" be being triggered by such a thing. I'm not saying it definitely is but.....pay attention to the foods she has and is eaten.

Ketchup, candy, syrup, etc....for my son there is a trigger that sets him off into the violence very often. It's saying no, interrupting him from playing a game (or something else he is engaged in) if he's had a "bad food", there are some others. if we just leave him alone when we know he's had something he will yell and scream but he won't get violent. Not a great solution but it's safer. When he was little sometimes we could use benedryl to counteract the effects if we could get it in him close afterwards to when he ingested the food but if it was more then an hour....too late! Now that he is older benedryl barely touches it and we've been able to and have had to turn to psychiatric medications to vitually "shut him down" as there is no "epipen" to stop allergic reactions for behaviors like there is for other allergic reactions.

The clue is really observing her eating and then reactions/behaviors afterwards. There are also some physical signs you can look for such as: her pupils will dilate to huge black saucer looking, red ears, dark circles under eyes, she may rub her nose a lot like it's itchy.

Just a thought for you.....something to help find a potential cause that may not have been looked at and is not often discussed. We have talked about it on the board here from time to time.

 

[SuZir]

Hugs

Do you have good working relationship with her case worker (or does she still have one?) It really does sound that she may need another stint out of home. It's not good for either of you, if you have to be afraid of her and locked yourself safe.

 

[Jody]

we dont have a caseworker anymore. She just called and threatened not to come home tonight after shcool
We are in the middle of a bad winter storm right now and she calls me from school and says don't bother coming for me, I said you had better be there at 320pm or I will plaster your picture in an Amber Alert all over the tv and call the police and send them to everyone you know's house. Now I'll probably get snowed in with the brat.

 

[buddy]

Is she home?

 

[DDD]

Ditto. DDD

 

[Jody]

yes she keeps calling me a dumb b and shes just so mean and the hate that I hear coming from her voice. Ugh, I want my old life back. Now shes laughing at me cause I am crying. She acts like she's leaving gathering clothes and stuff. I never said anything to her today, shes just so mean.

 

[buddy]

Can you go somewhere to take a break?

I wish I could come pick you up.

 

[buddy]

Hey, do you have a crisis number? We have teams that will come out to any home in the county if there's a crisis. Could snap her mind off the name calling. I hope tomorrow you can get ahold of people and try to make arrangements. This is no way to live.

 

[Jody]

Buddy, I wish you could too. Its a blizzard right now going on here, kind of stuck. she locked herself out of her bedroom and thats making it worse because she wont go away.

 

[HaoZi]

Mine's go-to when she's angry with me is "F-ing b***h" so I hear you on the name calling thing. Does it hurt? Yep. Sure does. Will I flip it on her? Yep, sure will. "You haven't seen me in b***h mode yet, you want to, keep it up and I will go b***h all over you." Not too mature of me, but after a while I have zip patience, and patience has never been one of my strong suits. Being a b***h, however, that I can do. I've already threatened to taze every boy she brings home when she starts dating - for my own personal amusement and as a lesson at to what will happen if they do not return her on time and in the same condition in which she left.

And yes, mine also has violent rages and is almost as big as I am and comes after me. Her shoe size at this point is half a size bigger than mine already. Not looking forward to the teen years!

 

[buddy]

LOL, I went for a "walk" last week in -7 windchill, sidewalks pure ice, and couldn't get to my winter coat in time. Still was worth it! I think I go a little nuts sometimes, anything to deescalate the situation.

 

[Jody]

Icant take this anymore, she has to go. I don't really need a three bedroom, but I am not losing anything else because of this kid. She's going back to fostercare.Once she leaves I dont know ifican affordit or not because of the help that I got with social security, but I guess I might have to get a second job. One that isnt mentally or physically exhausting. I don't want to see her and I don't want to go top any counseling either, i just don't but if I don't they are going to slap me with big child support. I wish I could run away. I am done with it.

 

[buddy]

I'm so sorry, does she know you're considering this? (Not something to discuss in the heat of the moment of course )...
Just curious.

 

[Jody]

shes threatening me with going back to care, she loved it at her fosterhome.

 

[Liahona]

I'm willing to bet it wasn't all peachy like she is saying. If it was then the foster parents weren't actually doing their job.

What would she do if you said "ok, you want to go back. Then that's fine with me, go back. "

Any kind of second job would be better then fearing for your safety.