One of the key indicators for a possible Aspie diagnosis is difficulty forming and maintaining normal peer relationships.
And... not all Aspies have Anxiety, but a lot do.
Look for books by John Elder Robinson. "Be Different" is for parents and teachers, in particular. But any of his books are a good look into how an Aspie thinks, and how and why they behave the way they do (which is directly tied to how they think).
For example: Assume he takes everything totally literally. This gives kids a major problem with the most stupid things... like math word problems. If there is any ambiguity at all, they will see THAT in a different light than a neurotypical kid will... and most teachers will have no idea they "said" that (but they did).
Aspies need structure. They respond to positive teaching methods, but usually not to punishment.
That's just a couple of ideas off the top of my head.
I hope I'm not hijacking this thread, but (I will anyway). What's the diagnosis:
We figured out when difficult child born that he needed structure, and have relearned it over and over throughout his life.
He does not respond at all to punishment, it has no effect. Positive teaching methods have worked in multiple different arenas (as an example last year, we had a long sit down with a new young teacher who was trying discipline for impulsive behavior - i.e. interrupting sort of stuff, and their relationship was escalating - luckily teachers who had had more success with him and his psychiatrist were there; luckily also she tried some of things suggested and 1 month later gave me feedback: he's really changed, is much more positive - head slap!!, had to hold my tongue that she was the one who had changed as I was just glad she had!).
Sadly he does not have normal peer relationships, i.e. no friends really.
He does not understand puns, despises sarcasm and when he was younger was heartbreakingly befuddled by it (we were not the ones sarcastic) and is funny himself but often doesn't get others' jokes if they cannot be understood literally and concretely.
He does not like to be touched. He never cuddled his whole life, even hating to be swaddled as an infant (now I wish I had done it anyway). He will sometimes sit on my lap or fiddle with my hands. If his Dad touches him though, watch out. He is better now, but still can go through 10 pairs of shoes at the store before finding ones he can tolerate on his feet.
BUT he has a radar for other's emotions, if anything is over-sensitive to them, almost hypervigilant. He looks people in the eye. He does sometimes say socially awkward things but not often. This is why his psychiatrist is confident he doesn't have asperger's.
I'm seeing another picture here though. So much of what I've learned over the years of independent reading is that everything is a spectrum when it comes to brain function. My daughter cannot spell worth a d***, she does not have a learning disability but her two brothers do (language based). She's obviously on the spectrum, just within the 'normal' range of it.
I'm afraid to call him asperger's. No one will believe it. But it explains so much of the kinda 'eccentric' stuff. (I almost wonder whether a psychologist calling him eccentric at age 7 is diagnostic!) But I like the idea of looking for techniques that work for aspies. I don't know what visual schedules are, but I'll try to find out.
Thanks for the tips on books.
