My husband and I went out to dinner tonight. When we came home the attic light was on. My 1st thought? What is difficult child hiding up there? I guess I'm going to have to go up there tomorrow and tear it apart. Why couldn't I just think "wow, someone forgot to turn the light off". I am truly so suspicious of everything. If difficult child is going somewhere that I think should take 10 min but takes him 15, I just know he stopped somewhere to buy/sell/do drugs. I see all of the good in him, but I cant truly be happy with him or proud of him because I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. He just turned 17 and I just cant imagine continuing to live like this. I probably wont have to with the drug test fiasco. Since June 3, he has either not taken, not passed, or had suspicious results on 6 UAs, all for drinking. And that thought makes me even more depressed. Not because he will be ruining his life even further, but because since he came home from rehab I have been just waiting for the next blow and seems to be this is going to be it. I just dont and cant understand how it is difficult to pee in a cup once a week and not have drama associated with it. Anyway, it is 4AM and I have been up for a few hours teying to wrap my head around all of this and decided to put my ramblings where someone might relate to them :-/
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