Legal Obligations re: Grandbabies

[timer lady]

JJJ,

kt has planned from the age of 7 to have a baby by the time she is 15. She will be turning 15 in July.

You know me, JJJ, I have plans in place for almost any situation when it comes to the tweedles. "Plan for the worst, hope for the best".

Saying that, kt is on birth control ~ has the facts about condoms, safe sex & the like. AND she has been informed by myself & several members of her mental health team that she is in no way able to care for herself yet alone a baby. The team (myself included) would request that the baby be placed in foster care/up for adoption.

This matter has been discussed & okay'd by kt's mental health team over a year ago. The legalities are iffy. However, I will push kt's inabilities to discern unsafe situations, her known & documented hx of violence & self harming, her school record. kt would hate me forever & that baby would be safe.

I would expect that you might be able to take the same route with your difficult child. I could be very wrong ~ as I said, I don't know the legalities. However, if at 12 or 15 years of age I'm still the parent & still responsible for my child. I would think that if my daughter could prove her responsibility & become an emancipate minor she might be able to fight something like this. Can you tell I've given this a great deal of thought?

Praying that difficult child can see the down side to this baby plan.

 

[Alttlgabby]

As her parent, could you possibly take her to an OB/GYN and have her put on the depo shot or Myrena to keep her from getting pregnant? Not sure what the law says about such things, but if it was a possibility, then I would do it.

 

[DaisyFace]

JJJ--

I would think that if your daughter and the baby's father are both under the age of 18--then both sets of grandparents would have some leverage in putting any unplanned baby up for adoption. Clearly, your daughter is not only not thinking clearly about the responsibilities of parenthood, she is incapable of providing a loving home for this child on her own.

Perhaps instead of convincing her how much she will not enjoy having kids--simply lay down a "black-and-white" rule: any baby that you have before the age of 18 will be put up for adoption. Period.

So many girls that age just assume that their mothers are sitting around just waiting to take care of another baby. They think they can have a child and continue to be a teenager because Mom will take care of the hard parts.

Knowing that Mom will not go along with all of her rosy plans certainly drains the fun out of the baby fantasy.

--DaisyF