newstart
Well-Known Member
Up date.. To my delight, the subdivision sent my daughter a letter telling her what a great job she is doing keeping her yard up. My daughter took a picture of the letter and sent it to me, I had to have proof because I would not believe it had I not seen the letter. For the past several weeks my daughters lies have been better, not gone, but not rapid fire lies. It's almost like her brain is disconnected from her mouth and a bunch of mumble jumble comes out. I think her mind is racing and super hyper and just anything comes out. I believe my mother in law was like this except when mother in law was manic she just kept quiet and you were not allowed to talk or even look at her. I have tried to tell my daughter to just be quiet, to let the hyperactivity settle down, that is when she gets dangerous and starts fighting. Years ago she got very belligerent, I remember clearly after one belligerent fight I told her I will not be seeing her anymore because her behavior is too abusive. I completely cut her out of my life for 3 months. I took my voice off my answering machine, did not answer the door, she called me from other peoples phones, I did not answer, I just completely cut myself out. She did talk to her dad and asked him if I was ever going to talk to her again, her dad said he did not know. Me doing that was the ONLY method that worked. God knows I tried everything in the world to help her, I knew I had to make it stop. Every once in a while the belligerence pops up and when I give her that 'look' she knows I have the strength for another blow off and if she does not try to straighten out, this next blow off could last a very long time. I have written about this before so I am writing this for the people that are reading our posts that are too grieved to post. The only thing that worked with my daughter was a long 'blow off'. She did not like it and it effected her deeply, deep enough to straighten out somewhat. I remember after that she was quick to make things right. She still gets way off course but the belligerence is better.
In just a few short years the house she is living in will be paid off.. She will have taxes and HOA fees but it will be hers if she could only hang on. Since she rides a very high and steep roller coaster, I know better than to get too excited about the good stuff because each time I think she finally gets it I get knocked around. There are many people with mental illness's that lead good productive lives, they keep them self in check and work on it each day. I believe each and every person is on some kind of spectrum.
I think back to when my daughter and I went to therapy and our therapist told me that my daughter was a psychopath. It hit me like a lead balloon. I studied psychopathy deeply and found out my daughter is a psychopath while manic and only while manic. I read an article about part-time psychopaths, they were talking about when some people are manic they turn into one but it is not who they are in their core. My daughter was a sweet child, kind to animals and compassionate to others. My daughter developed onset adult bipolar around age 19, she went from a honor roll student to a foul mouth girl that I did not even know.
The change in her was so drastic and fast that she did not even look like the same person. I remember when she was 20 and we were on a cruise together I looked over at her and did not even recognize her face. She looked like she morphed into another person. I remember when her picture was on a billboard advertising for a college, I did not believe it was her until I called the school to find out who that student was on there and they told me it was her. My daughter changed that much in one year. I see my daughter change again, she is looking so much like my dad and is even moving around like he did. (This is a good thing, my dad was kind and a wonderful caregiver). It seems like my daughters DNA is constantly fighting to give her an identity. Sometimes I feel she is grounded in who she is and other times a lost soul.
In just a few short years the house she is living in will be paid off.. She will have taxes and HOA fees but it will be hers if she could only hang on. Since she rides a very high and steep roller coaster, I know better than to get too excited about the good stuff because each time I think she finally gets it I get knocked around. There are many people with mental illness's that lead good productive lives, they keep them self in check and work on it each day. I believe each and every person is on some kind of spectrum.
I think back to when my daughter and I went to therapy and our therapist told me that my daughter was a psychopath. It hit me like a lead balloon. I studied psychopathy deeply and found out my daughter is a psychopath while manic and only while manic. I read an article about part-time psychopaths, they were talking about when some people are manic they turn into one but it is not who they are in their core. My daughter was a sweet child, kind to animals and compassionate to others. My daughter developed onset adult bipolar around age 19, she went from a honor roll student to a foul mouth girl that I did not even know.
The change in her was so drastic and fast that she did not even look like the same person. I remember when she was 20 and we were on a cruise together I looked over at her and did not even recognize her face. She looked like she morphed into another person. I remember when her picture was on a billboard advertising for a college, I did not believe it was her until I called the school to find out who that student was on there and they told me it was her. My daughter changed that much in one year. I see my daughter change again, she is looking so much like my dad and is even moving around like he did. (This is a good thing, my dad was kind and a wonderful caregiver). It seems like my daughters DNA is constantly fighting to give her an identity. Sometimes I feel she is grounded in who she is and other times a lost soul.
