Long Night

[GoingNorth]

He was given a no trespass order, and had the chutzpah to come back a day later in the middle of the night and leave a bag of clothes with a note, "Mom wash these for me and bring them to _____ house tomorrow before 10. Can you throw in a 20 so I can get some food?" Really
He is in for a rude surprise. Nothing registers with him but what he wants.[/QUOTE]

Pasa, do not respond to him at all. Call the police to report a breach of the no trespassing order. Give them the clothing and note as evidence. Continue to report any and all breaches. No trespass means he is not allowed on your property at all. Coming on your porch to drop off his laundry (the utter gall!!) certainly qualifies.

 

[Lil]

He was given a no trespass order, and had the chutzpah to come back a day later in the middle of the night and leave a bag of clothes with a note, "Mom wash these for me and bring them to _____ house tomorrow before 10. Can you throw in a 20 so I can get some food?"

I have no words...

 

[Littleboylost]

Loving the wise advise and support Pasa just sending you a hug.

 

[Jabberwockey]

He was given a no trespass order, and had the chutzpah to come back a day later in the middle of the night and leave a bag of clothes with a note, "Mom wash these for me and bring them to _____ house tomorrow before 10. Can you throw in a 20 so I can get some food?" Really
He is in for a rude surprise. Nothing registers with him but what he wants.

Yeah, what GN said. Call the police and let THEM take it back to him. See if he has any luck getting them to wash it for him or give him money.

 

[Tanya M]

He has become his father without having spent more than a few days with him here and there when he was a toddler.

Exactly like my son! This is where I see nature over nurture.

Lil, You are spot on about how things transpired. Things just get better and better with this kid. He was given a no trespass order, and had the chutzpah to come back a day later in the middle of the night and leave a bag of clothes with a note, "Mom wash these for me and bring them to _____ house tomorrow before 10. Can you throw in a 20 so I can get some food?" Really

Well isn't that special
I cannot believe how much our sons are alike. There have been so many times in the past where my son would call me every ugly name imaginable, then the very next day he would act like nothing happened and would sometimes say things like "gee mom, why are you being so cold to me" I learned over time to be very careful with my next words to him. If I told him "because of all the ugly things you said to me yesterday" he would respond with "why are you always throwing it in my face things that I do wrong, why can't you ever be there for me" then it would turn into a debate where I would try and tell him all the times I've been there for him and he would do his twists and turns with words. It was exhausting!!

I agree with GN on this.

Pasa, do not respond to him at all. Call the police to report a breach of the no trespassing order. Give them the clothing and note as evidence. Continue to report any and all breaches. No trespass means he is not allowed on your property at all. Coming on your porch to drop off his laundry (the utter gall!!) certainly qualifies.

Hang in there Pasa!!

 

[pasajes4]

Tanya, You just described how my son responds after one of his ugly tirades. " Mom thats in the past. You have to give me a new chance today. All you want to talk about is what I do wrong. You need to just start over."
Translation: I have to do what he wants to makeup for bringing up old news.

 

[Tanya M]

Pasa, the crazy thing is, my husband and I have given our son so many "second" chances and each time we did we wiped the slate clean telling him "this is a fresh start, we want you to take this opportunity to make better choices and get things turned around" Ya, that would last about a day or two then he would start his crap all over again.

I've told him many times over the years, I can forgive you for the crap you have put me through but that does not mean I have forgotten it.
Forgiveness is for me so I do not hold on to the bitter angry feelings but I am not capable of forgetting. That's where the PTSD comes in. I manage it much better than I used to but I also know that when my son gets out of jail there will be a time period where I will wonder if and when he will show up on my door step. I can see my son behaving exactly as your son has done and like you, I too will not hesitate to call the police.

I have found over the years of dealing with my son the less I say to him the better. I do not engage in lengthy conversations with him because I never know what I might say that will set him off, or that he will use against me. My standard line when he asks me for something is "I'm unable to help you and I'm sure you will be able to figure something out" I will say it over and over if I have to.

Pasa, I do hope that he will get the message that he needs to stay away from your home and that you will start to have some peace.

 

[pasajes4]

I don't speak to my son on the phone it is easier for me to stand firm if I don't hear his voice. I stopped all communication with him after the trespass order was given.