Lyrics to a song my son sent me......"23"

[MommaTried24]

Simple as my mama said when I was very young
She told me not to worry son
One day, you'll be someone
But here I am at 21
As loaded as a stagecoach shotgun
I'm sorry mama
Please don't look at me

When I got to Oklahoma I was 17
My papa taught me how to work and Lord, he was mean
Working all day in that August heat
He taught me how to fish
My uncle taught me how to drink

Well, I went California and I had me a band
And we played in all the bars in all the southern lands
We played all night, and we drank for free
All of my boys and me

Now I'm 23 and there ain't nobody who can drink like me
Soon I'll be 24 and the Lord knows that I can't drink no more
I know I shoulda taken it slow
It's not the way that my life goes
Now I know

When you're passed out on the floor
You're sober by 24

Well, I had a girl who loved me the whole damn time
And I'd drink my whiskey and she'd drink wine
But soon my bottle was too much to comfort me

Yeah, we'd sit on the river and we'd fish all day
And we'd drive across the country, let the radio play
Seven damn years, I never thought she'd leave

Now I'm 23 and there ain't nobody who can drink like me
Soon I'll be 24 and the Lord knows that I can't drink no more
I know I shoulda taken it slow
It's not the way that my life goes
Lord, I know

When you're passed out on the floor
You're sober by 24

Simple as my mama said when I was very young
She told me not to worry son
One day you'll be someone
But here I am at 21
As loaded as a stagecoach shotgun
I'm sorry mama
Please don't look at me

 

[lovemysons]

Hi Momma Tried…

I see your son is thinking about where he is now due to alcohol. This is good.
But I do hope he doesn’t feel like a failure. He’s so young. His brain isn’t even fully developed yet!

The song, Simple Man, by Lynard Skynard is the one that gets to me. We played it at my son’s funeral. I wish they didn’t feel the need for drugs or alcohol to “be satisfied.”
Hugs and prayers

Mama told me when I was young
"Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say
And if you do this it'll help you
Some sunny day"
Oh, yeah
Oh, take your time, don't live too fast
Troubles will come and they will pass
You'll find a woman, yeah, and you'll find love
And don't forget son there is someone up above
And be a simple kind of man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Baby, be a simple kind of man
Oh, won't you do this for me son, if you can?
Forget your lust for the rich man's gold
All that you need is in your soul
And you can do this, oh, baby, if you try
All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied
And be a simple kind of man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Baby, be a simple kind of man
Oh, won't you do this for me son, if you can?
Oh, yes, I will
Boy, don't you worry, you'll find yourself
Follow your heart and nothing else
And you can do this, oh, baby, if you try
All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied
And be a simple kind of man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Baby, be a simple kind of man
Oh, won't you do this for me son, if you can?
Baby, be a simple, be a simple man
Oh, be something you love and understand
Baby, be a simple kind of man

 

[MommaTried24]

Hi LMS! Yes that song Simple Man gets me too and I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. I cannot imagine what you've been through and continue to endure as you grieve. God knows I've worried and stressed about this happening to my son too. Sending you a big HUG. I told mine it's never too late to stop and that I'm just glad he's still alive. He was very apologetic. All I can do is keep praying. Thank you for sharing.

 

[Fairy dust]

I think his song represents inward reflection and he is taking stock of where and who he is. To me, this is a good sign. Just keep telling him you love him and you are there to help when he is ready. When he is ready and that is his decision and only his. Hugs to you! You are a wonderful Mom. I think he knows this.

 

[MommaTried24]

Fairy dust thank you SO much! It's been a long road for him to get to this place. He was majorly corrupted against me by his father and grandfather during very developmental years. I pray he's come full circle in knowing I've done everything I could to give him a good life. If sobriety doesn't stick this time, at least I know he knows he has a problem and he wants to fix it.

God bless you for your kind words. I always second guess myself as his mother. I needed this message today.

 

[lovemysons]

Momma Tried…

I think we all second guess ourselves when our children’s lives become chaotic and our families are hurting.
We try so desperately hard to do and say all the right things to no avail. That’s because the change must come from within them.

I know when my boys were young teenagers and first got involved with drugs, I took it so personally. Like I had failed. And how could that be when I tried day in and day out for years to be the “perfect mother.”

But then one day I realized this was never about poor parenting or good parenting…it’s about the choices our children make independent of us. And in many ways I was a very controlling parent. So I think there was definitely a high degree of rebellion on their part too. Sadly it just became a power struggle. Our house was a war zone in those years.

Yes as Fairy dust said…
“ Just keep telling him you love him and you are there to help when he is ready. When he is ready and that is his decision and only his.”

 

[MommaTried24]

For sure LMS! It hurt me too. I tried so hard and felt like I had been a good parent. I thought he and I were tight for life.

It was just the two of us for years. He lost all of his friends at the age of 10 when he started seizing. Everybody was scared to death of him having a seizure. He was always such a good kid and he and I did everything together from that day on. We had a lot of fun vacations and locally went and did everything too. Some really good times.

I think his desire to do whatever he wanted because he missed out on so much made him do everything to extreme. Especially the drinking I think out of loneliness too? Never got to ride in cars with friends as a teenager. Always went to ballgames alone. Otherwise, literally at home with me until he was a grown man. Needless to say, he went a bit wild. Obsessed with driving too since he medically wasn't allowed and couldn't get his license. I was probably a controlling parent too. I was more afraid of the epilepsy and the injuries caused by the seizures that made me overprotective too.

My mom always said there are no perfect parents. We are all human and you're right, they grew up to make their own choices and decisions. Unfortunately, mothers always suffer the consequences of their negative ones. Rebellion was here too and my home was a power struggle and stressful place too in those later years before he had to leave. I so get what you're saying.

 

[lovemysons]

Like me and my son you have a good relationship with your son. This bond you two have will help you no matter what happens Momma Tried.

I think at the end of the day knowing that our children know how much we love them is the most important thing. Regardless of what happens.

You’re in a bit of a predicament with your son’s medical condition. I’m sure it has been easy to feel sorry for him and all that he missed out on because of his seizures.
But I implore you NOT to. I think it will only give him a victim mentality and weaken him.

What a fine line you must walk.
Hugs and love,
LMS

 

[MommaTried24]

I think at the end of the day knowing that our children know how much we love them is the most important thing. Regardless of what happens

Yes indeed my friend! I felt sorry for him for way too long and it unfortunately made him have a victim mentality for sure. It was one of the mistakes I made as his parent. Praying he pulls himself up out of that. I should have forced him to keep going and not let the epilepsy define him. We were making so many trips to the ER for falls and injuries due to seizures that I was scared. I was doing it as a single parent trying to work full time too. It's been hard for both of us. Definitely need to stay off the pity pot and draw that fine line to independence.

Thank you for messaging with me today.

 

[lovemysons]

Wow Mamma Tried! What a remarkable person you are. I can’t imagine raising a child alone that has these physical problems and struggles with alcohol.

I have been very blessed to have a strong and wise husband by my side. Though of course we’ve had our problems too. Especially when the boys first started their drug use. Looking for who was to blame what was to blame caused some distance between us for a while and we almost didn’t recover. But my husband is a Godly man and neither one of us ultimately gave up on each other. He has helped me tremendously since our son’s death. We will be married 38 years on July 25th.

I will give you some advice my husband has given to me during troubled times…
“This too shall pass.” Whether you’re going through good times or bad times. Accept the moment. This too shall pass.

Keep praying!
LMS
Ps…I’ve enjoyed our conversation today too.

 

[MommaTried24]

Thank you and Happy Anniversary to you and your hubby this month! So glad you two made it through!