Medicines to treat ODD?

[InsaneCdn]

You really do have to split out this whole issue of telling "lies" into multiple separate items. Because it makes a HUGE difference in how it gets handled and why, depending on the flavor.

For example
a) Lie to cover your own butt: in order to do this, you HAVE to know what you did/didn't do. This type always has a direct benefit to the person telling the lie (if it works). THESE ones, we take seriously, and treat as LIES.

b) Lie to fill in the gaps because you don't remember: insisting on the truth just makes it messier, they really DON'T remember... so, is it really a lie? (we make a distinction between a "lie", which is deliberate, and a "mis-truth", which is inaccurate but not deliberate)

c) Lie to try to make yourself look better, even when it doesn't work: really, that's a social skills issue, or a developmental issue, or a theory of mind issue, or such like. They need to learn that it always comes back to bite them, etc. But there often is no direct benefit and possibly subtle negatives... treating these like class-1 LIES doesn't help, AND doesn't teach the related skills.

Therapies and/or medications CAN sometimes help with memory-gap lies, by addressing the memory issues, or by reducing stress (which affects memory).

 

[TerryJ2]

Insane, there again, I see my difficult child in all the definitions.
He definitely lies to cover his butt. And get out of trouble.

He lies because he can't remember ... and it just comes out of his mouth like he's exhaling. Yesterday, he freaked out because he didn't want to do a contact lens fitting. He's been wanting contact lenses for 2 yrs. Last yr, we spent an hour trying to teach him at the dr's ofc, and he gave up. He bugged me again about it in May. So we finally get an appointment, and 1/2 hr beforehand, he freaks out and says his eyes are all red and he never wanted contacts to begin with, so whatever gave me the idea he wanted them, anyway?

Huh?!

Lying to make himself look better may be more Aspie than self esteem. He just doesn't "get" that he has to learn how to do things, step-by-step and he insists he either knows something or he doesn't. We have talked about this in therapy a few times. Today we painted a kitchen chair, and cleaned tarnished silver tongs, and he was much better about not shouting at me ... I also tried to stay out of it and only speak when spoken to. ;b

 

[allhaileris]

about the three types of lying:

1. Yes, she does this, but it's developed as she gets older, and that's something we can actually work on.
2. This has happened since she could talk.
3. I doubt she even thinks about this, unless it's to make her Dad look bad, or get an "oh, she's so cute and sweet, she'd never do what you accuse her of".

 

[chloedancer]

Personality disorders are not diagnosed in children for a reason. There are many other reasons people lie. Maybe she doesn't like herself, or maybe she feels like she can't change it. Having a child with special needs is exhausting, but I have t o constantly remind my self that my son is not doing these things "to me" and that I cannot assign adult motives to a child's behavior. and I have to honestly admit that I believe I triggered my sons tendency to lie. My discipline style involved long talks and loss of privileges. I know now that the talks only confused him and he never equated his choices with the consequences. To him it was more like a pop quiz, if he could say the right thing,no consequence.