Missing Person Report results

[Beta]

Well, we haven't heard from our son, Josh, in two months. I called the Pheonix police, yet again, and filed a missing person report the other day and prayed that someone would come across him. Today, my husband got a phone call from an officer, stating that Josh had been seen last night after he had shoplifted at a convenience store he likes to hang out at. He was not arrested. The officer who talked with him offered to get him help and encouraged him to get help, but like every time before, Josh refused.

Okay, so one answer to prayer: We at least know he's alive still. I just don't understand why someone would prefer to live the way he is living, rather than coming home to a comfortable house, plenty of food, and people who care about you. He prefers his life, the way it is, over being with us.

The officer who cited him did encourage him to get in touch with us and I think he let him know we were looking for him. So now we continue to wait and hope and pray that he will contact us again and that one day he will grow weary of his life as it is and want to come home. It makes me sick to think of how he is living. I have to be careful not to let my mind dwell on images of what I imagine in my mind.

Thanks for "listening."

 

[Copabanana]

He was not arrested.

To me, this is a travesty. If he were arrested he would have a chance. He would detox. He could get on medication.

He prefers his life, the way it is, over being with us.

He prefers his drug. He prefers what he experiences as freedom.

So now we continue to wait and hope and pray that he will contact us again and that one day he will grow weary of his life

Praying with you Beta. Love, Copa

 

[ButCoffeeFirst]

Beta, shutting down our brains seemingly inexhaustably horrible images is so difficult. And I find that rumination breeds more rumination.
It may be helpful to “set a timer” on that thinking.
I found it impossible to shut down the images all together, but had more success managing during the day when I said “I’m not thinking about that right now - I am paying bills. I’ve set aside time to think about that at lunch.”
Less successful at night, of course.

 

[ANewLife4Me]

Well, we haven't heard from our son, Josh, in two months. I called the Pheonix police, yet again, and filed a missing person report the other day and prayed that someone would come across him. Today, my husband got a phone call from an officer, stating that Josh had been seen last night after he had shoplifted at a convenience store he likes to hang out at. He was not arrested. The officer who talked with him offered to get him help and encouraged him to get help, but like every time before, Josh refused.

Okay, so one answer to prayer: We at least know he's alive still. I just don't understand why someone would prefer to live the way he is living, rather than coming home to a comfortable house, plenty of food, and people who care about you. He prefers his life, the way it is, over being with us.

The officer who cited him did encourage him to get in touch with us and I think he let him know we were looking for him. So now we continue to wait and hope and pray that he will contact us again and that one day he will grow weary of his life as it is and want to come home. It makes me sick to think of how he is living. I have to be careful not to let my mind dwell on images of what I imagine in my mind.

Thanks for "listening."

Oh I feel this Beta not knowing if they are still alive out there is so traumatic thinking about this everyday. So very sorry you had to go through this, sending you a big warm hug! We will never know why they chose to live a lifestyle that hardly sustains them but, their choice not ours. In my daughter’s case she does not want to be told what to do, will not listen to us, police, anyone with authority. So with that mindset she wants her freedom but, she does not want to work, she wants the party life. Unfortunately this has lead her to be in jail, constantly putting herself in danger. We hope and pray that one day they will turn themselves around, see the sensible way to go about things but, I don’t think this will happen in my daughter’s case. I pray your son does one day.

 

[Beta]

To me, this is a travesty. If he were arrested he would have a chance. He would detox. He could get on medication.

He prefers his drug. He prefers what he experiences as freedom.

Praying with you Beta. Love, Copa

Copa,
I totally agree about the lack of arrest. He has been caught many times shoplifting and all they do is issue a citation. If he were arrested, he at least would be off the streets, not have easy access to fentanyl, and we would know his whereabouts. I've gotten to the point where I check the inmate registry and hope I find him there. Thank you for your prayers--much appreciated.

 

[Beta]

Beta, shutting down our brains seemingly inexhaustably horrible images is so difficult. And I find that rumination breeds more rumination.
It may be helpful to “set a timer” on that thinking.
I found it impossible to shut down the images all together, but had more success managing during the day when I said “I’m not thinking about that right now - I am paying bills. I’ve set aside time to think about that at lunch.”
Less successful at night, of course.

BCF,
I totally agree. At times, I say to myself, "Okay, enough. You've thought about him long enough. You've prayed for him. Now move on to other things." I try to stay busy during the day to keep my thoughts focused on other things. At night, as I try to quiet my mind for sleep, it is harder though.

 

[Beta]

Oh I feel this Beta not knowing if they are still alive out there is so traumatic thinking about this everyday. So very sorry you had to go through this, sending you a big warm hug! We will never know why they chose to live a lifestyle that hardly sustains them but, their choice not ours. In my daughter’s case she does not want to be told what to do, will not listen to us, police, anyone with authority. So with that mindset she wants her freedom but, she does not want to work, she wants the party life. Unfortunately this has lead her to be in jail, constantly putting herself in danger. We hope and pray that one day they will turn themselves around, see the sensible way to go about things but, I don’t think this will happen in my daughter’s case. I pray your son does one day.

ANewLife4Me,
Thank you for the virtual hug! I don't think Josh wants to be told what to do either. He definitely doesn't like people in authority. Thank you for your prayer for him. Prayer is our battle weapon.

 

[Nandina]

Beta, I have been reading your posts and my heart breaks for you. Although my son passed away in December (methamphetamine /fentanyl) he was very much the same way preferring to live the life of a vagabond over having actual shelter.

My thoughts would be to continue to try and get an officer in your corner so to speak and send messages to Josh, let him know he is loved and you just need to hear from him. But I know you’re already doing that. I would also ask that they arrest him or at least question why they have not. I, too, am stymied by this.

You would be surprised the things my son did, got arrested and I would be relieved for the moment only to find the next day they had released him (in his case pending court dates). It’s sad that we find relief when our kids are in jail but that is our reality.

I wish I could offer more but I just want you to know that I’m thinking of you, I send warm hugs and prayers for strength.

 

[ANewLife4Me]

Beta, shutting down our brains seemingly inexhaustably horrible images is so difficult. And I find that rumination breeds more rumination.
It may be helpful to “set a timer” on that thinking.
I found it impossible to shut down the images all together, but had more success managing during the day when I said “I’m not thinking about that right now - I am paying bills. I’ve set aside time to think about that at lunch.”
Less successful at night, of course.

I love your idea of “setting a timer” am going to try it! I think we all share of our most drastic/worse outcome thoughts and where does this truly lead us? We love to torture ourselves don’t we? I could think all day and night long if you let me.

 

[Nomad]

It’s good you got info!

An arrest could of led to treatment if nothing else resources for help.

 

[Beta]

Beta, I have been reading your posts and my heart breaks for you. Although my son passed away in December (methamphetamine /fentanyl) he was very much the same way preferring to live the life of a vagabond over having actual shelter.

My thoughts would be to continue to try and get an officer in your corner so to speak and send messages to Josh, let him know he is loved and you just need to hear from him. But I know you’re already doing that. I would also ask that they arrest him or at least question why they have not. I, too, am stymied by this.

You would be surprised the things my son did, got arrested and I would be relieved for the moment only to find the next day they had released him (in his case pending court dates). It’s sad that we find relief when our kids are in jail but that is our reality.

I wish I could offer more but I just want you to know that I’m thinking of you, I send warm hugs and prayers for strength.

Thank you Nandina. I did ask a police officer once why they let shoplifters go and he said even if they arrest them and take them in they would be back on the street by the next day. The latest police officer let him know we are looking for him and encouraged Josh to contact us but as of yet--nothing. It hurts to know that he knows we were worried and am searching for him but it doesn't seem to bother him.