I spent a lot of time thinking that there was one more thing I could say or do that would make a difference in my son's additions. Intellectually I knew there wasn't but emotionally.......that took quite a long time to accept. I know, as a parent, we hold onto the "hope" that things will change but sometimes they just don't and for our own well being we have to move on. Our society professes that "love" conquers all but those of us on this forum know that is not always true. Blessings to all who are currently struggling. It's a long road none of us want to travel.
My "addiction"
- Thread starter Be@peace
- Start date
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
There is a way that love does conquer all. But it exists in us. It is a spiritual connection. That "place" in each of us when we rise above the struggle of our lives.
There is no way any human being can transform or control another human being without their buy-in. For complicated reasons in each of our stories, our adult children live differently than we would want. Ours is only to accept that. That's the hardest part.
An addiction is something that takes over will, purpose, discernment, The addiction for our children has become the relationship that determines, guides and fuels their lives and actions. Parental love can't conquer something like that. Only self-love can.
But we can find our love for them, and live there. But that requires protecting that place with boundaries--internal as well as external boundaries. Internal boundaries, ruminating, worrying, guilt, etc. when we run roughshod over ourselves are just as corrosive and damaging as our child's rampages. That is when we come to CD. I sure do hope we can find a way to stay together.
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Something I heard on addiction that touch my heart.
I listened to something by R Kennedy. It was a you tube video. It did have a tiny bit of political stuff at the end. But this is not political.
I listened because he spoke about his previous addiction to Heroin. Goodness. How does one overcome such a horrible addiction? He spoke a lot about self will. And giving that up to essentially a Higher Power. Not giving in to our desires moment by moment. But instead, to the greater good. And to practice extreme personal accountability. Surrendering (instead) each moment to that….a higher power and accountability.
He spoke, for example, about how if you drop something on the floor…one might think that it’s someone else’s job to pick it up. But in order to overcome his addiction…he had to put behind his self will. And to do what is right and be accountable. “I dropped it, I pick it up.” It was through much self reflection, reading and prayer he got the answer that worked for him. I don’t know if this is what works for all addicts. I just found it interesting, touching and powerful.
I listened to something by R Kennedy. It was a you tube video. It did have a tiny bit of political stuff at the end. But this is not political.
I listened because he spoke about his previous addiction to Heroin. Goodness. How does one overcome such a horrible addiction? He spoke a lot about self will. And giving that up to essentially a Higher Power. Not giving in to our desires moment by moment. But instead, to the greater good. And to practice extreme personal accountability. Surrendering (instead) each moment to that….a higher power and accountability.
He spoke, for example, about how if you drop something on the floor…one might think that it’s someone else’s job to pick it up. But in order to overcome his addiction…he had to put behind his self will. And to do what is right and be accountable. “I dropped it, I pick it up.” It was through much self reflection, reading and prayer he got the answer that worked for him. I don’t know if this is what works for all addicts. I just found it interesting, touching and powerful.
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