My son is in the hospital.

[Copabanana]

I was able to speak to my son but cannot again for 4 days as there is a black out of 7 days after admission where they are restricted from calling out.

My son said he was told by facility 1 that he only had to go to this new facility for a week and could come back. Sounds fishy to me.

The new facility personnel told me that their program was 45 to 90 days or more. I told my son and the staff members I spoke with that the discrepancy of information about length of stay needs to be clarified, or my son would feel entrapped.

My son sounded good. He said he knew he could leave at any time. I told him we love him (M too) and he said, "Me too, Mom." He said he was feeling better and believed he had to leave facility number 1 "due to my negativity." We will see.

We had been planning a cross country trip but M thinks we need to stay put without plans until we know what my son needs and wants. Which makes sense to me.

The last two phone calls with my son he has had a stability, maturity and strength in his voice that I cannot remember hearing for a very long time. Maybe I have never heard it in this way--while I always believed him stable and strong in the past, he was, of course never this mature. I am a little bit hopeful but scared to hope.

 

[mof]

We will take the good stuff! I too am afraid if hope...but we love so hope is inevitable.

I have no experience with the treatment centers... it seems odd that he could " go back"...

But sounds like he is getting help and embracing some, even medication.

Glad your heart is a bit lighter tonight!

 

[savior no more]

Blessings to you and your son. I am glad to hear he sounds good. The most humbling thing I ever had to face was when my son went to the Residential Treatment Center and with very little input and contact with me he slowly started to get better. Not that I was the problem but more that they had a system in place that targeted his areas of ego integration and healing that I couldn't access being his mother. It sounds like the place that transferred him made a better match.

 

[Feeling Sad]

Copa, it all sounds so very positive. I am very happy for you, your son, and M. I am sending my positive thoughts, hopes, and prayers. It is a journey, but it sounds like he is on the right path. Day by day...

As a side note...I went to school in Bel Air... My best friend had a roller coaster in her backyard. My brother's best friend had an actual cowboy and Indian show with horses for his birthday. Each child went home with their own large teepee and full feather headress. But, even in an affluent area, there are just as many...if not more...unhappy people and families with problems.

 

[Albatross]

I am so happy to read this about your son, Copa! It all sounds so very positive.

 

[RN0441]

Copa
All sounds good! Keep us posted.

 

[Childofmine]

Good news Copa. I hope you can rest in this news and knowledge that he is somewhere...where there is the possibility of real help and then, perhaps, forward movement for him.

I believe our kids need professional help. My son has recently informed me he is going to therapy. His idea, his money, his schedule, him making the appointments.

I was astounded...and then very grateful. I hope he keeps going.

Warm hugs tonight. and may all people here and elsewhere get the help they need.

 

[Albatross]

My son has recently informed me he is going to therapy. His idea, his money, his schedule, him making the appointments.

I was astounded...and then very grateful. I hope he keeps going.

I think this is terrific news, COM! I think that is a very courageous thing to do, not just for our difficult children, but for anyone. It is scary stuff, to be willing to look inside and be honest about what you see. But even more, I am so happy that he has that faith in himself, and in his future. I remember when he did not seem to give much of a whit about his life at all. Good on him! Good on your son too, Copa! These young men are really impressing me lately!

 

[Copabanana]

Hi Everybody:

I called him today. He said he has been trying to get to the lab to get his blood work done and there has been only obstruction. He thinks the place is purely a money making operation. He was told that if he leaves prematurely he will have to pay out of pocket.

The upshot: I called the case manager-I was hostile, asking if indeed it was true that he had not been permitted to go to the lab/or assisted to do so. I also asked about the threats that he could not leave-or he would pay out of pocket. The young man said, indeed it was true that there were staff members who made that threat but of course it could not be enforced.

I told him I thought that hardball would act against my son's interests and unfortunately I was obnoxious. I went too far and said I had not heard before of this kind of threatening in a mental health treatment program. I told him I would help my son assert his rights if need be, that my son was there voluntarily.

I did go too far. But sure enough he did call back in 5 minutes to say that all obstacles to my son's visit to the lab for blood work had been removed and he would go on Monday. Magic.

My son says he is reserving judgment about going or staying to complete 2 weeks. He says he feels too inadequate to return to the other treatment program because he is still wearing his hood 24 hours a day. He told me he had to go and eat and I could call him back later. (He says he has met many very nice people -- patients.)

After I thought about it some (and reading your posts),I think it makes sense to let him have his space and work this out on his own.

My son has recently informed me he is going to therapy.

COM. This thrills me. Good for him!

 

[mof]

Don't be too hard on yourself...you really want this to work for him.

Let him navigate...it's good he's meeting people...even the patients.

Breathe...he's not running away! So far...so good!

Hoping things continue on the positive!!

 

[Albatross]

I am glad you got to speak to him, Copa. Don't be so hard on yourself for going too far. Wow, have I done that. You are excited about his progress and want to see it continue. He will do it, Copa. He is in a good place to learn to overcome obstacles, I think. I too am certainly hoping the upswing continues! Good on him!