My son is in the hospital.

[GoingNorth]

Copa, what medications is he on? The only one offhand that I can think of as a mood-stabilizer that is REALLY awful for the liver is Depakote (Valproic Acid or Sodium Valproate) Liver function in people with normal livers must be tested frequently when taking this medication. It is contraindicated in people with liver disease or insufficiency.

I was on Depakote for several years. Got great results with it...until a liver function test came back showing that my liver had, in no uncertain terms, decided it was no longer gonna put up with processing Depakote.

The good news is that my liver recovered perfectly after I quit taking that drug. The bad news is that nothing I've taken since has worked as well.

 

[Copabanana]

In my post above I forgot to address these quotes from while I was gone.

it sounds like he is being offered ownership in his treatment plan, and he is taking it.

Thank you Albatross. It is music to my ears, what you write.

YOU have to forgive yourself for anything you have done to others.

IB, I forget the context you address by this comment but of course it applies to almost everything. Thank you.

I just want him to be okay. That's all.

Wow. So do I, COM. Is this not the heart of it?

The only way son turned his life around was because he wanted it more then I did.

Yes. This is exactly the case.

STEAL your joy, your hope, your life away.

Yes, IB. I am a very joyful person who has been sad for a long time. I must be coming back because I got such positive feedback from the people at work, and it was mostly about joyfulness and spirit.

How are you

I am better, Albatross. All in all, way better. I am so grateful to M. Every day he drove me an hour to work, drove home and 10 hours later came to get me. He was never more than a minute late, and usually waiting in the hot sun in the hot car. He patiently tolerated my plopping in the bed each evening and weekend. We really did this together. I could not have done it alone. Not anymore. He so supported me to quit. To his way of thinking I should have quit way sooner. But I wanted to get to 3 months. Not that they are all that grateful.The supervisor was gracious to me, but in the main I think they are unhappy I left, and will not forgive me for it. Which feels a little bit bad.

Thank you everybody.

 

[Copabanana]

Copa, what medications is he on?

Hi Going

He was started on Wellbutrin and then the psychiatric added Latuda. I am particularly worried about the Latuda. He has also had a brain injury. He was born with HEP B. Both Wellbutrin and Latuda are contraindicated with these conditions, and the Wellbutrin can cause psychosis for people with these conditions.

He can dissemble. I have reason to believe he did not tell them the truth. When I ask, he says he did--I doubt this. But what can I do?

How are you Going?

 

[GoingNorth]

I'm on Latuda and while it is contraindicated with people with impaired liver function depending on the severity of the dysfunction, in a lot of cases the dosage may just need to be adjusted.

Does you son currently have impaired liver function from the HCV?

Latuda is sort of a weird antipsychotic. I've been on it for abougt 8 mos now. I like it better than any of the other atypicals I've tried, if only because it doesn't have all the other awful side effects the others did. I'm on a low-ish dose that seems to be helping but not completely. I can't go higher because then unpleasant side effects show up.

The main thing I don't like about it is that it's speedy for the first bit after taking it, so I have to take it when I get up, as opposed to the other APs that I had to take at night.

Wellbutrin is out of the question for me. It makes me homicidal. Not suicidal. Homicidal. And if you knew me, you'd know that that is as far from being a facet of my personality as one could imagine.

 

[Copabanana]

Does you son currently have impaired liver function from the HCV?

He says no, but I do not believe him. It's B, not C, that he has. My son believes he can control the virus by diet and supplements. This kind of thinking makes me nuts. He was on an antiviral (when I still had influence). When I no longer did, he stopped the antiviral 3 times, cold turkey without telling his Hepatologist.

You know, now that I write this, I am thinking that a lot of my extreme fear is coming from the juxtaposition of hopefulness. It is like I am finding it hard to hope that this could work out.
I think my feelings are both defensive and extremely potentially destructive to my son. I must get a grip.

I am also concerned because my son thinks he is bipolar but has never been diagnosed as such. I worry that he entered the program announcing he was bipolar--when he may not be. I know that no responsible psychiatrist would go only by what the patient says--but I cannot help but worry.

My son thinks MOOD Disorder is synonymous with bipolar when it is not.

Thank you Going.

 

[Copabanana]

Going, if I may ask, did you for a time in your younger years resist taking psychiatric medications or believing that there could be relief for you?

 

[mof]

Omg...thank you. My son thinks he's bipolar , yet does not take one medication for it...so relieved we are going to a doctor here next week...hope to straighten out medications and wake him up a bit!

 

[GoingNorth]

did you for a time in your younger years resist taking psychiatric medications or believing that there could be relief for you?

Yes and no, Copa. I knew there was something wrong with me and i wanted help. I saw a psychiatrist for the first time when I was 10 years old. I don't remember what i was diagnosed with at that time, but he put me on THORAZINE. After two days of that, being a drooling, twitching zombie, I refused the medications. I also refused to go back to the psychiatrist unless my parents told him to switch the medication.

This was before modern ADs, so I took a variety of tricyclics and a couple of old-time APs. Nothing much helps. Where I was highly resistant was with counseling after a breach of confidence by a JFS counselor who was funneling everything I said to her in session straight back to my parents. I was still small enough to be stuffed in the car, so I kept things dignified and went...and refused to speak or so much as look at the counselor. That went on for a few months, and my parents got the message.

Basically, I began to refuse to take any psychiatric medication that altered my consciousness in ways I found unpleasant, or caused me difficulties cognitively or in sleeping. I was put on benzos. Librium if I remember correctly, for some time, but didn't take those regularly as they made me sleepy during the day.

By the time I was 14, I was off all RX medications and experimenting with street drugs. And a fine, raging bipolar mess at home,too.

I'm sorry about my error in your son's illness. For some reason I keep thinking he has HepC, not HepB. If it's B, he's probably got some damage already. What is his actual rationale for refusing testing and treatment. That's a damned ugly death, and with his history, he won't qualify for a place on the transplant list.

I'm sorry you are still dealing with this, but glad you seem to have worked out some coping mechanisms, made some decisions, and are feeling a bit better.

 

[ISO_Detachment]

I applaud your courage and strength.

 

[Nomad]

It's unfortunate that you had to leave your job, but certainly understandable. So many obstacles and most importantly, you were feeling stress and unhappiness. Yuck.
I think I read where your son is more willing to take medication and is in fact on medications. Wonderful. I know this can be tricky. Good thoughts that the right one (s) are found. Hang in there!!!!!

 

[jetsam]

keep hanging in there! thats all any of us can do . You are a courageous person.

 

[Lil]

Hello Copa - I've been lurking and mostly on the watercooler these days, though I have been looking for updates from you and others. Was glad to run on to this one today.

I got this kind of superstitious feeling, like if I did not post--maybe I could keep things better. I mean, if I did not make it a catastrophe by memorializing it here--maybe it would not be a BIG HUGE PROBLEM. Did it work? I am not sure.

I haven't posted in a while, kind of for this reason. We seem to be in a bit of a "holding pattern", with my son working and giving us part of his check weekly - he's up to $600 saved - and waiting for him to have enough to pay off his old electric and have enough for rent and deposits and such so he can start looking for an apartment.

Much like your superstitious feeling, I am afraid to post anything positive. Like your fear things will get worse, I fear I will jinx things if I say it's going well. Which it's really not...it just is what it is. I know Jabber is not all that happy with me these days because I still tend toward giving in just to keep the mood in my house calm.

Just after I stopped posting I decided to give notice at that crappy job AND I DID. Tomorrow is my last day.

This I'm glad to see. You needed out of there!

Hang in there my friend.

 

[RN0441]

Lil was wondering where you'd been! Glad it's "stable".

 

[Copabanana]

This I'm glad to see. You needed out of there!

When I gave notice I told the supervisor that I would be happy to work on call for them to cover for absent staff members. He had said several times he liked my work. That said, I do not think they will call. Why? Because of resentment that I chose my own needs and interests and did not put theirs above them.

I asked myself in the last couple of days, now that I stopped, if I really needed to quit so soon--the money while not great is nice. And the answer is YES. I needed to quit.

The reality is that every time there was a problem in this workplace the supervisors pointed their fingers away from themselves, to find the responsible one. There was so much incompetence and so much risk in this setting--I could not knowingly allow myself to continue.

It was not the work, per se. It was not the bosses per se. It was the fact that I could not let myself continue in a situation where I was so at risk--and where I knew that I would be left hanging in the wind--should anything happen, especially if it was not my fault.

And this place was an accident waiting to happen. I would not let myself wait around to be holding the bag.

It was dreadful that it came down to this.

 

[Copabanana]

he's up to $600 saved

Lil. This is really, really good. Real progress, on all of your parts.

I can only guess what it costs Jabber to hold back. And you too.

I think back to the years and years that I would not tolerate my son here at home. And I ask myself: Will there come a day, with his health that I will ask myself if he would have been able to confront the true situation of his illness, had I given more, had I tried harder?

What I am trying to say here, is that I believe you and Jabber and doing what you must, given who you are.

 

[savior no more]

Usually in a treatment facility they do a lab panel that shows liver function along with other basic labs that show other things so most providers are aware of renal or liver problems before they ever prescribe anything. It usually is standard procedure as so many of these drugs can compromise normal function and then becomes a medical/legal issue. Not that things don't get missed, but maybe this can help alleviate your fears. I so understand how you feel. I get this big packet of information together that I'm sure most everyone dealing with my son is dying to have and I can just hear the talk behind my back (well really only in my head).

 

[Copabanana]

Well. I just got a call from a new treatment facility where he was admitted today. This facility actually looks like it might be a better fit, but I am very anxious. I last spoke with him Tuesday and he was worried because the other facility had submitted paperwork to extend his stay to the insurance company, and he was uncertain if further treatment would be authorized.

So, somehow he ended up in this new place. He must have signed a release because the woman was able to call me to tell me. She called herself
"the family concierge."

I feel torn. I think that this facility is probably more what he needs, with more intensive treatment--but how could this not be a double edged sword for me, and for him.

There are family weekends, one is tomorrow, but there is no way I could get there by tomorrow. And because the location is near the border with Mx M cannot go with me, for fear of deportation. What a life.

All I want right now is that he call me or that somebody call me. I would settle for that.

I hope you all are OK. Or hopefully, better than OK.

 

[in a daze]

Much like your superstitious feeling, I am afraid to post anything positive. Like your fear things will get worse, I fear I will jinx things if I say it's going well. Which it's really not...it just is what it is

Ah yes, the board jinx!

It's strange. It makes no sense. I feel like this too, at times.

That's awesome, 600.00! Just don't be like me. My son, in the last year he was living at home, was giving my husband 200.00 out of every paycheck. (Cussing, swearing, and carrying on, but he was doing it.) I convinced husband to make it a "token" amount (something I heard the therapist, who I hated, say). I'm sure son was like, "yay! More money for narcotics!"

 

[Lil]

That's awesome, 600.00! Just don't be like me. My son, in the last year he was living at home, was giving my husband 200.00 out of every paycheck. (Cussing, swearing, and carrying on, but he was doing it.) I convinced husband to make it a "token" amount (something I heard the therapist, who I hated, say). I'm sure son was like, "yay! More money for narcotics!"

LOL no....My kid is saving money to MOVE OUT. May take a while since he does need to pay off an old electric bill and have a good enough work history for apartments to want to rent to him, but he's up to $700 now. Would be better if he didn't spend the rest of it, but for now he's also paying his own phone at $40/mo. and buying his own bus passes too. He's actually behaving pretty decently these days. Granted, he spends a lot of time out of the house since he works evenings, so that may help. Jabber and I are looking forward to him having his own place and standing on his own two feet...and us having our own empty nest back.

 

[in a daze]

LOL no....My kid is saving money to MOVE OUT. May take a while since he does need to pay off an old electric bill and have a good enough work history for apartments to want to rent to him, but he's up to $700 now. Would be better if he didn't spend the rest of it, but for now he's also paying his own phone at $40/mo. and buying his own bus passes too. He's actually behaving pretty decently these days. Granted, he spends a lot of time out of the house since he works evenings, so that may help. Jabber and I are looking forward to him having his own place and standing on his own two feet...and us having our own empty nest back.

This....is good news!

So my son just started doing all this stuff this past winter.

We asked him to start paying his way. He then admitted to us he had a 3600$ credit card bill. He paid it off with 2000$ tax refund and the res t with inheritance money from grandfather. Since then pays for 100$ bus card, 25$ gym membership, 30$ New phone, every month. Now saving lots of money and looking for side jobs.

But he's 29, and your guy is like 21, right?

He's come a long way in a much shorter time. He's growing up.

Good job, Lil and Jabber!