Need to talk and need some advice

[Hopeforbetterdays]

I have a five year old son that was diagnoised with ADHD. He had problems earlier in life because he was born very premature. I just thought him being so busy was because of all that he been through. We have been having major problems in school and he was started on medication. The medicine hasn't made a huge difference yet but the behavior is almost more than I can bare some days. He doesn't listen to me and I'm always repeating myself. He has now starting to hit when he is mad or upset. We call them melt downs. Does anyone have any advice for a fustrated beat up parent.

 

[tiredmommy]

Welcome, you aren't alone anymore! First thing I would do is get hold of a copy of The Explosive Child by Ross Greene (there's a thread at the top of this forum). The second thing is to ensure he has an accurate diagnosis.

I have some questions:

What physical problems did your son have as a result of being premature?

What behaviors are being seen at home that are causing so many problems?

What type of medication is he taking?

 

[Hopeforbetterdays]

Thanks for the warm welcome. It's nice to know your not going through this alone and that there are other parents who feel the same way.

My son had alot of problems due to him being early. He was born at 27 weeks. He was in the hospital a total of 7 months and then when he did come home I basically became a nurse. He was on oxygen and we had to tube feed him for the first two years of his life. He is a pretty normal kid with the exception of he has a VP shunt in his brain to drain fluid from his brain since his body can't do it himself. He has had so many different surgeries in the past for various things that I have lost count. Now we are dealing with the issues of developmental delay.

I believe the diagnosis was correct of ADHD. He has been on Daytrana which is a patch and he has been taking it for one month now and we have seen a change at school and at home. For the first time the teachers are giving postive reports instead of every report being negative. The only side affect is that he is extemely moody about an hour after the patch has been removed. He kicks and hits and won't listen at all. It drains me when he has what we call a meltdown that last for at least an hour. We can't seem to figure out what triggers it. I also wonder if he is jealous of my younger son because if we don't watch him closely he will try to kick and hit him. After reading some of the threads on last night some of the senerio's sound so familiar and that's why I joined and asked for advice.

 

[AprilH]

The only side affect is that he is extemely moody about an hour after the patch has been removed. He kicks and hits and won't listen at all. It drains me when he has what we call a meltdown that last for at least an hour. We can't seem to figure out what triggers it.

My son has had a lot of the same thing with some of the medications he has tried when he comes home after school and has meltdowns...his psychiatric told me that it is probably caused by the medicine leaving his body; he is basically 'crashing'. Really the only answer we have had for that is to try him on a different medication combo to stop the crashing. Best of luck to you. I started in this forum today also and I am quickly becoming a 'junkie'. I have found relief already in reading these good posts and advice.

 

[tiredmommy]

I agree that he may be suffering from rebound when his medications wear off, it may be worth talking to the prescribing doctor about. One of the other possibilities is that his developmental delays may be playing into this. What are his specific delays? He may be doing well enough that he holds it together throughout the school day but his frustrations just keep building until he explodes at home. Has he been screened or received Occupational Therapist (OT) services? He may have sensory or communication difficulties playing into it as well. And yet another possibility are attachment problems stemming from his early health issues and hospitalizations. Attachment problems would be generally considered after other possibilities have been ruled out or addressed.

 

[SRL]

I agree with TM that it's important to take a closer look at the developmental delays and not just attribute those to being premature. Sometimes we see parents who attribute delays to premature birth or other medical conditions when it turned out there were other neurological explanations.

 

[BusynMember]

I third looking into the developmental delays. Preemies are more prone to have certain childhood disorders and in my opinion it sounds like more than ADHD. I'd see a neuropsychologist or go for a Multi-Disciplinary Evaluation at a hospital or university. My son was first dxd. with ADHD, but that was quite wrong. Good luck.

 

[GinAndTonic]

Hi -- I wish all kids with ADHD came with this book: The Incredible Years, by Carolyn Webster-Stratton. It's full of great, practical advice.

 

[Lulu]

Hello and welcome. this board has had great advice and support for me since I recently joined. Just wanted to give a kind greeting.

 

[Hopeforbetterdays]

Thanks for all the good ideas. He has been followed by doctors since the day he was born. The school system took over at age 3 and he has been in school since that point. He has been receiving Occupational Therapist (OT), PT, speech therapy, and now he is about to receive vision thearpy.

We have been closely observing him since I joined this group and we have noticed there are some major jealousy issues. When I seem to spend the entire day with him alone just me and him without going to school things seem fine. Unfortunately, I can't spend that kind of time with him every day due to working full time and him being at school. I have made the decision to at least spend 30 minutes in the evening just me and him to see if that makes a difference with the meltdowns. Wish me luck! I have beening so much better since I have somebody on the outside to vent to and find some helpful hints. So far we have had a good weekend and I was able to defuse two meltdown situations before they got far out of control.

 

[SRL]

Are there siblings that are causing jealousy?

 

[Hopeforbetterdays]

Yes. He has a younger brother that is 3 years old.

 

[Hopeforbetterdays]

Yes. A young brother that is 3 years old.

 

[susiestar]

I am glad he is being followed by professionals. Do you feel comfortable by all the docs? You can get others if the ones you are working with are not effective, or you do not feel comfortable with them.

A very loooong time ago we had my difficult child in a group for kids with ADHD/Aspergers. One of the things they recommended was spending about 30 mins a night, or at least a couple of nights a week, just doing what HE wants to do. Let him lead, direct you, etc.... We found this helpful when he was young. Now (age 16) he is horrified by the idea, LOL!!

Sounds like you are in a good position to help him. Stick with us, lots of support here.

Hugs,

Susie

 

[Hopeforbetterdays]

Thanks, I do feel comfortable with the professionals. It's the school system that I don't feel comfortable with. That's another story all together.

I really do love the support here. This is what I needed some time ago and I'm glad that I stumbled across the website. I feel like I can vent all my fustrations. I plan on sticking around.

 

[tiredmommy]

I plan on sticking around.

We're glad to have you here!