sunxstone
New Member
I came up with a level system tailored for our difficult child about two weeks ago, and it's been working *really* well! It's still really new, and we're still tweaking a few things, but we're very happy with it. (It's based off the Dilley sextuplets Discipline Ladder. -don't our kids feel like six kids at once sometimes? lol-)
We use a level system with 6 levels. 6 is high, 1 is low. It's built like a ladder (with an actual picture of a ladder) and posted on the fridge with magnets with the kids names on the rung they are on.
I thought I'd post it in case it might help someone else!
Here are the levels:
Six:
Quiet time in room, read, write, draw, board games, video games in room, play inside, radio, outside in yard, skateboard, bike, skate, pool, library, phone calls to and from friends, friends houses, dvd in great room, extended bedtime (30 minutes), one Soda at dinner (if available), spending the night with friends*, Wii time*, easy child time* (*or)
Five:
Quiet time in room, read, write, draw, board games, video games in room, play inside, radio, outside in yard, skateboard, bike, skate, pool, library, phone calls, friends over, visit friends houses, dvd in great room, extended bedtime (15 minutes), one Soda at dinner (if available)
Four:
Quiet time in room, read, write, draw, board games, video games in room, play inside, radio, outside in yard, skateboard, bike, skate, pool, library
Three:
Quiet time in room, read, write, draw, board games, video games in room, play inside, radio, outside in yard, skateboard, bike, skate
Two:
Quiet time in room, read, write, draw, board games, video games in room, play inside only
One: Quiet time in room, read, write, draw
To move up a level, the kids must follow the ten house rules as follows:
1) Respectful Language: *(Gets two prompts *unless* it is a threat, which results in an immediate drop)
Looks like: Pleasant tone, please and thank you, excuse me, positive words, no blaming or shaming, use gripe pad, no name calling, no cussing
2) Ask before you take
3) Bedtime is at 9 PM
Electronics off, lights out
4) You break it, you fix it
Any "thing", promise/commitment must be fixed by the person who broke it
5) No swimming without an adult *SAFETY
Children must not go past the coping edge without adult supervision
6) Respect for boundaries *SAFETY (no causing harm or damage)
Hands to yourself, no unwanted touching with hands, feet or objects, respect the "bubble"
7) Need to know where we are
Check in when you get there, check in before you leave, check in if you change plans
8) Stay out of each other's bedrooms
Family time in dining room and living room
9) Clean up after yourself
10) Eat at the kitchen or patio table with permission
Breaking a house rule results in a drop of one level. The safe behaviors get two prompts before a level drop, the unsafe ones are an immediate drop.
Our awesome behavior coach wrote out this Outline for Success for difficult child:
How can difficult child raise to Level 6, stay there and decrease target behavior AGGRESSION to Lower than 75%
1) Follow House Rules on a daily basis
2) Participate in behavior therapy (Tues, Wed & Sat)
3) When in a bad mood, go straight to room and write, draw or listen to music until you feel better.
*Do not under any circumstances ever threaten harm to Mom/Stepdad/Sister and Never call Mom or Stepdad the "B" word.
Target Behavior #2: Hygience
1) One shower per day. No debate, no excuses and no fake showers.
(I updated this to include a list of what constitutes a shower: Shampoo hair, soap on body, put on deodorant when dry and wear clean clothes)
We're also instituting an immediate drop in level if we find smeared feces or hoarded food.
The kids also do their own laundry. With difficult child, it's a drop to Level 1 until the laundry is completed *correctly* and then he moves up to the previous level he was at, or else it takes him 3 days to do two loads.
Hope this is helpful and I'd love some feedback
We use a level system with 6 levels. 6 is high, 1 is low. It's built like a ladder (with an actual picture of a ladder) and posted on the fridge with magnets with the kids names on the rung they are on.
I thought I'd post it in case it might help someone else!
Here are the levels:
Six:
Quiet time in room, read, write, draw, board games, video games in room, play inside, radio, outside in yard, skateboard, bike, skate, pool, library, phone calls to and from friends, friends houses, dvd in great room, extended bedtime (30 minutes), one Soda at dinner (if available), spending the night with friends*, Wii time*, easy child time* (*or)
Five:
Quiet time in room, read, write, draw, board games, video games in room, play inside, radio, outside in yard, skateboard, bike, skate, pool, library, phone calls, friends over, visit friends houses, dvd in great room, extended bedtime (15 minutes), one Soda at dinner (if available)
Four:
Quiet time in room, read, write, draw, board games, video games in room, play inside, radio, outside in yard, skateboard, bike, skate, pool, library
Three:
Quiet time in room, read, write, draw, board games, video games in room, play inside, radio, outside in yard, skateboard, bike, skate
Two:
Quiet time in room, read, write, draw, board games, video games in room, play inside only
One: Quiet time in room, read, write, draw
To move up a level, the kids must follow the ten house rules as follows:
1) Respectful Language: *(Gets two prompts *unless* it is a threat, which results in an immediate drop)
Looks like: Pleasant tone, please and thank you, excuse me, positive words, no blaming or shaming, use gripe pad, no name calling, no cussing
2) Ask before you take
3) Bedtime is at 9 PM
Electronics off, lights out
4) You break it, you fix it
Any "thing", promise/commitment must be fixed by the person who broke it
5) No swimming without an adult *SAFETY
Children must not go past the coping edge without adult supervision
6) Respect for boundaries *SAFETY (no causing harm or damage)
Hands to yourself, no unwanted touching with hands, feet or objects, respect the "bubble"
7) Need to know where we are
Check in when you get there, check in before you leave, check in if you change plans
8) Stay out of each other's bedrooms
Family time in dining room and living room
9) Clean up after yourself
10) Eat at the kitchen or patio table with permission
Breaking a house rule results in a drop of one level. The safe behaviors get two prompts before a level drop, the unsafe ones are an immediate drop.
Our awesome behavior coach wrote out this Outline for Success for difficult child:
How can difficult child raise to Level 6, stay there and decrease target behavior AGGRESSION to Lower than 75%
1) Follow House Rules on a daily basis
2) Participate in behavior therapy (Tues, Wed & Sat)
3) When in a bad mood, go straight to room and write, draw or listen to music until you feel better.
*Do not under any circumstances ever threaten harm to Mom/Stepdad/Sister and Never call Mom or Stepdad the "B" word.
Target Behavior #2: Hygience
1) One shower per day. No debate, no excuses and no fake showers.
(I updated this to include a list of what constitutes a shower: Shampoo hair, soap on body, put on deodorant when dry and wear clean clothes)
We're also instituting an immediate drop in level if we find smeared feces or hoarded food.
The kids also do their own laundry. With difficult child, it's a drop to Level 1 until the laundry is completed *correctly* and then he moves up to the previous level he was at, or else it takes him 3 days to do two loads.
Hope this is helpful and I'd love some feedback
