DS3
New Member
I recently came upon your site while searching the internet for a place to gain some support. My family, friends, et cetera don't fully understand my frustrations, or my situation for that matter - and I'm at my wits end.
So here's the situation. I have a 4yr old difficult child who has ADHD and ODD. He's on Adderall 5mg 2x daily. They're going to change the dosage this weekend when we go see the Dr. I just don't know to what. (I called this week to let them know that it doesn't seem to be working, and the Dr. said last weekend, that he would change it this weekend if that was the case.)
I say I am at my wits end because I feel I have tried everything to get him to behave, to follow the rules, to follow through, and nothing seems to be working. (Mind you he sees a play therapist, a pediatrician, and a psychiatric doctor).
For example, his play therapist told me to ignore his behavior when he is screaming, or throwing small items because it is his way of gaining attention from me (any attention better then no attention). So the other day, he got upset because his show was no longer on (I'm sorry, at 1800 is goes off and something else starts playing on the channel. I can't change that). So he started his normal screaming 'I don't want that' and throwing legos. So I ignored it. 15 minutes later, he picked up his solid wood rocking chair and threw it at me. I put him in his room so I could calm down about that. Then we discussed how throwing a chair is dangerous. He hasn't done it since, but it still scares me.
Another example: He refuses to eat unless it is something he chooses/gets on his own. I will give him dinner, and he will flat out refuse to eat it. So his therapist said to send him to bed hungry and he would stop. Didn't work. He figured out how to get over 3 baby gates, and get into the pantry and get what he wanted. So I removed all of the 'junk food' and things that he likes, and hid them. He then decided to pull the dining room chair into the kitchen to get into the ice cream in the freezer. So I got rid of the ice cream, and put him back to bed. About an hour later, he had gotten back downstairs, and was going through my baking cabinet (sprinkles all over the place...). So I got rid of whatever he liked in there.
He doesn't listen or seem to understand when something is potentially harmful. I have a 'normal' 2 year old who is now mimicking his older brothers behavior of climbing, and not eating, and throwing things. I've tried to explain that my difficult child is the 'older brother' and needs to set an example for his little brother. I often have to separate the two of them for fighting and biting.
I can't get my difficult child to follow any orders what so ever. I have asked him to pick up his toys and he flat out refuses. I've tried reward charts, taking the toys away, throwing out the broken ones (he breaks at least 1 daily), bribing, offering bigger rewards... nothing works. I make sure I spend one on one time with each of the boys through the day, but its getting to the point where I am so tired I don't know what else to try. by the way- my difficult child has decided that 11pm - 12am is a good time to finally fall asleep, and that 5-6am is a great time to wake up. I have to stay up and make sure he isn't getting downstairs, or playing in the bathroom, et cetera. So I'm not getting a whole lot of sleep. And he doesn't take a nap.
Right now, I'm on my own with these two. My husband is military and deployed. My family lives 3800 miles away. And I just feel overwhelmed, desperate, and in need of someone who understands. So thanks for reading this, and I would appreciate any advice anyone could give.
So here's the situation. I have a 4yr old difficult child who has ADHD and ODD. He's on Adderall 5mg 2x daily. They're going to change the dosage this weekend when we go see the Dr. I just don't know to what. (I called this week to let them know that it doesn't seem to be working, and the Dr. said last weekend, that he would change it this weekend if that was the case.)
I say I am at my wits end because I feel I have tried everything to get him to behave, to follow the rules, to follow through, and nothing seems to be working. (Mind you he sees a play therapist, a pediatrician, and a psychiatric doctor).
For example, his play therapist told me to ignore his behavior when he is screaming, or throwing small items because it is his way of gaining attention from me (any attention better then no attention). So the other day, he got upset because his show was no longer on (I'm sorry, at 1800 is goes off and something else starts playing on the channel. I can't change that). So he started his normal screaming 'I don't want that' and throwing legos. So I ignored it. 15 minutes later, he picked up his solid wood rocking chair and threw it at me. I put him in his room so I could calm down about that. Then we discussed how throwing a chair is dangerous. He hasn't done it since, but it still scares me.
Another example: He refuses to eat unless it is something he chooses/gets on his own. I will give him dinner, and he will flat out refuse to eat it. So his therapist said to send him to bed hungry and he would stop. Didn't work. He figured out how to get over 3 baby gates, and get into the pantry and get what he wanted. So I removed all of the 'junk food' and things that he likes, and hid them. He then decided to pull the dining room chair into the kitchen to get into the ice cream in the freezer. So I got rid of the ice cream, and put him back to bed. About an hour later, he had gotten back downstairs, and was going through my baking cabinet (sprinkles all over the place...). So I got rid of whatever he liked in there.
He doesn't listen or seem to understand when something is potentially harmful. I have a 'normal' 2 year old who is now mimicking his older brothers behavior of climbing, and not eating, and throwing things. I've tried to explain that my difficult child is the 'older brother' and needs to set an example for his little brother. I often have to separate the two of them for fighting and biting.
I can't get my difficult child to follow any orders what so ever. I have asked him to pick up his toys and he flat out refuses. I've tried reward charts, taking the toys away, throwing out the broken ones (he breaks at least 1 daily), bribing, offering bigger rewards... nothing works. I make sure I spend one on one time with each of the boys through the day, but its getting to the point where I am so tired I don't know what else to try. by the way- my difficult child has decided that 11pm - 12am is a good time to finally fall asleep, and that 5-6am is a great time to wake up. I have to stay up and make sure he isn't getting downstairs, or playing in the bathroom, et cetera. So I'm not getting a whole lot of sleep. And he doesn't take a nap.
Right now, I'm on my own with these two. My husband is military and deployed. My family lives 3800 miles away. And I just feel overwhelmed, desperate, and in need of someone who understands. So thanks for reading this, and I would appreciate any advice anyone could give.