We were told my son had ODD at age 2.5 - 3 years old. Also told no ADHD through school. We did nothing thought we could handle it. He was very bright, thought he was bored. He skipped a grade in elementary school trying to challenge him more. We were warned that later on the maturity level may be a problem. We knew he was very social and didn't think that would be a problem.
5th grade was awful. ODD was very present. He was almost always angry. Refusing to do work. Refusing to obey. We didn't want him labeled so we went against the suggestion of special education. Also refused medication. Until..he had a total anxiety breakdown and HE asked to be put in the hospital. He was then put on a mood stabalizer. It helped tremendously. Not as many drastic mood changes.
6th grade (middle school) was even worse,as far as ODD went. Wrong crowd (he was 10) by semester we were told we had a choice. Special education. or expulsion. He refused to do work, argued with teachers. Would not follow rules. We put him in special education. Had some modifications such as when he would get angry he could go to another room, cool down and then rejoin the class.
7th grade he made high honor roll at semester. Then lost it. same thing. Refused to bring supplies to class, refused to do work, refused to follow rules. Because of the reputation he made for himself, he was blamed for everything whether he did it or not. Was told he is not as mature as other 7th graders, and they just won't deal with it.
This year, 8th grade. Forgets everything. Forgets books, assignments, refuses work. When he does do it, he forgets to turn it in. Very little anger. More frustration and anxiety. He gets kicked out of atleast one class a day for talking, not following rules, or just doing the same as other kids, only because of his reputation, he is singled out. Spends most of his days in the office, not learning, which causes frustration and the circle begins again.
To do it over...we would not advance him a grade. Definately not mature at this time as others. Would of started the medication sooner when his anger outbursts were often.
Today we saw psychiatrist. We are beginning to take him off the mood stabalizer. But..we are adding medication for ADHD. For the first time in all his years his teachers have expressed concern over his behavior in that aspect.
He is not labeled. He takes medication. He has some modifications. This is to HELP him. Parents and others not familiar with ODD are sometimes easy to pass judgement. They are ignorant.
If his behavior is interfering with school, I would try to think of how he is feeling.
To try to have my son not struggle, not have everyday an issue, HE wanted to try the new medication. I did not. He doesn't want to feel that way any more. That is how our decision was made. His choice on how he wants to feel.
Each child is different. Each child responds to different situations differently. I pray your child out grows it. But if he doesn't you will have some tough choices to make in the future. Please don't take this the wrong way. I just wanted to share my story, not sway your decisions with your child.
Medication is not for everyone. That is a personal choice. Just my story.