I can't get Q to read with me for five minutes at night anymore. I am sure if I have to do it, I would find a way. I would probably be able to work out home bound instruction and that is an option that I am considering but the lawyer and psychiatric dont want it done yet because if it works then we have reduced our options because they will use the "see he does better " argument and they wont be motivated to look for a good place for him to learn more skills.
I actually do not have the money/resources to do very much. I can't even afford gas to take him many places if they are free. His waiver and insurance wont cover anything that is educationally based. He would get books of course for school work, but at this time he does nto use any books.... all of his work is individually created or part of a special needs unit the teacher makes for the class (like science or social studies or social skills).
I certainly can make many of these things, but with our own issues and goals, we would end up killing each other. School is school and home is home for Q... is strict boundaries, hard for him to even see me in that setting and he does't accept seeing school people in stores or anything.
If forced, of course I will make it happen and adjust as I must. Not sure he is learning enough that I could do worse anyway.
There is no good answer. That is what s#cks. If I change his routine to just keep him home and away from them he will panic and we will have a kid in the hospital and people will use that to say he is too out of control to be anywhere.
My plan for now is to have the person who is doing the independent FBA see what she thinks about how they are running the plan. Our attorney has picked her because she has no problem telling them what they could do better....
Problem I can see now is she is seeing a different kid than before. they are not doing any positive intervention, just redirection and removal.
Q woke in a great mood. He was willing to talk about going to see other schools. I said there are a few (lie) schools that have super fun things in them.... he said well I wont see A anymore, I said well we can visit her and we can invite her (again, lie she would never come but I am not going to make him worry about that yet... something can always come up for each time he thinks of it. He has told me many times to just say we will see-even when he KNOWS the answer is NO-- then he doesn't get upset, so I go with that).
If he only had to be in the SUN class with no EBD school then I would think this was a good choice, but I have to so carefully consider this... What ever I decide... as the home psychiatric says, can't be reactionary based on fears right now... it has to be a long term decision. or the amount of disruption could last a year... that has happened before. (last time he moved to a new school that was not a natural transition with the group... ie the plan in his head that had been told to him by everyone forever.. because that is what they all do.... it took one school year plus a few months to have him calm. Teachers had to walk down the halls with their hands in front of htem so he didnt' come up and grab them or scratch their hands. Once they had a psychiatric that embraced The Explosive Child concepts, she got them to prioritize and he had a wonderful two years and then moved to middle school with the others. He did fine there too, till now. Of course he is who he is, never easy... but not like this.
Am I totally in denial.? Could he be a different child, but if so, wouldn't I see that everywhere like always in the past? Usually if it is internal, I see it across every setting... home, community, Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) workers, school.... but this is totally different, just moments at home after school issues and normal home upsets. He does amazing with so many things in home and community. Only school is an issue right now. I know puberty is making things difficult, and I also know that the class he is in went from 6 students in sixth grade to now having 12. ONE room. Full of kids all who talk to much, make noises, have behavior challenges... so i am sure it is not all him, but I am sure it is too hard for him too.
But moving him around to a setting that could cause a bunch of other issues??? OR it could be wonderful for him.... Really hard to experiment.
I would allow the 45 minute drive (well during rush hour it will likely be 1.5 hours. ... but if I have to go back and forth to get him or for meetings etc... and I do because how else can you know what is going on in a school... that will not be affordable for me. But if it was ideal, yes.. I would. I would move but then he risks losing everything county based, and I can't afford to move so what to do about that?
