OMG I think I am ADD

[CookieMomster]

i use to know this stuff and help others... and I am completely brain dead now... I have tried to reboot my memory.... and it just washes together... DOES THIS SITE OFFER ME A TUTOR??????

long story short. daughter had problems in school for years, behaviorally...i didnt want to have her labeled cause she is popular and normal ....principal and some teachers started bullying her last year (not just her opinion, mine too)....so I decided to get something done to insure she gets a fape...etc

1) diagnosis is bipolar. and she cycles RAPIDLY...you know the poster that says 0-witch in 60 seconds?? thats my kid. but she is mostly a kind sweet cuddly kid...beautiful beyond belief...but she knows more than any adult...and isnt afraid to say so.
2)unfairly suspended last year as well as unfairly in in school suspension once last year.
3)history of meeting with teachers and principal in this school for two years where I would tell them how she is and ask for help.... without qualifying her..and they would promise they would...but then they did nothing and actually held her to a higher standard than her peers.

OKAY...so the sd has given me the 504 referral. You know they did the "your daughter positively doesnt qualify for iep because she is straight A's"..and I did the "well..when she rages, or cant concentrate that will effect her work and when she is hyper and cant sit in her chair and misses the lecture notes..etc"

so the sd say...we can guarantee a 504 pretty fast..but with an iep it could take months with the "due processes" and stuff..

so back in the day i knew the major differences and in my head I think I want the iep...based on me remembering a 504 is just a bunch of garbage without any enforcement abilities..and they can still remove your child from school for her behaviors related to bipolar.

what do I want?
her in regular classes (unless she starts having learning problems)....but with behavior mod's in place to allow her to get away as needed for anger...etc. a therapist (our sd has lisc. ones here) which will see her once a week without her peers really knowing...and she can go to him/her as she needs to.
For no teacher to put her hands on my daughter..including on her nose to tell her not to be "nosey"...or to "shake" her to get her attention while she is raging...for her to be allowed absenses due to the fact she doesnt sleep well and is often groggy /moody in the morning....for her to not be forced to read books other than her regualar CLASS books. She has a hard enough time reading a chapter of science.... then she is suppose to read 4 books each quarter to be tested on...she cant do it and has proved this the past three years. for her to have extra time for her homework if she is in one of those 'zones'...and has to go to bed early, cant focus...rages..etc. for her not to have to sign papers that implicate guilt or admit to guilt or any simulance thereof without ME being present. Last year she signed some things becasue she was told "this is not admitting you are guilty, and you must sign it or serve iss". Everytime she signed those things the principal used em against her as in "see she signed it to admit she did this"...so i told her in front of him she is not to sign them without me present...he said that was okay..but a month later gave her an iss for that very issue. (yeah he's a jerk who bullies kids) and for most of this to be held in confidence so her peers wont ridicule her further. She already is teased for her physical (she is 12 and looks like 21)...and they give her heck about 'stuffing' or being on birthcontrol (which she isnt)...


should i go on with the 504 just to have something in place then work toward (proactively) an iep?????

 

[Martie]

Dear CM,

I think you remember this stuff pretty well.

Are you aware that the law was modified in 2004? Now every SD has to evaluate in 60 days (not schools days) DAYS. You are correct: generally a 504 plan is toothless and is partiuclarly unsuitable for a child who is in danger of suspension because a 504 offers no protection outside of suing in Federal Court (not something to wnat to do.)

You will have to decide for yourself whether the label is worth the stigma. i think it is pretty stigmatizing to have a teacher touch a child and says what you have reported. All the things yo want could be written inot an IEP. The SD is arguing "no negative educational impact" due to grades. It is easy to give someone A's (I'm not saying this is the case for your difficult child, but it's been known to happen.) School is more than about grades or passing tests. It is also about learning how to function and be prosocial and productive.

in my opinion your difficult child needs a full evaluation (send the request by CERTFIED MAIL) in order to get what you want AND protection of arbitrary discipline and ultimately expulsion. I also think a BIP is definitely needed.

I've said this so many times --I apologize ahead of time to the old-timers: my ex-difficult child never set foot in a special class: Special Education is a service not a place, and in middle school, he certainly needed services, despite above average everything (on testing.)

Here are some of the things he received:
Safe place/person to go to
Therapy for school issues (there were many; he also had an outside therapist for non-school issues. I thought it was fair for the school to provide therapy for the stress and problems they caused.)
Did not eat in the lunchroom (which was a zoo)
Attended school half-time in 7th and 8th grades
No homework that could not be completed in 1.5 periods at school (he ate lunch during the other .5)
Reduced busywork if he could demonstrate mastery.
Favorable seating (aways from bullies)
Curriculum content modification (He did not read "Night"; he would not write a paper on Hiroshima--these things gave him nightmares for days.)
Excused from PE from 5th grade on--the SD could not control the bullies and ex-difficult child had losts of anxiety about being hurt "by accident" that would not have been an accident.

BIPs were not required by law yet or he would have had one of those, too.

The list is endless of what one can do for an "at or above gradelevel" ED child and I certainly negotiated any unusual arrangements for an unusual child with major depression and ODD. It is more difficult than if a child has clear learning problems also that are easily measurable but you can't have the types of problems my ex-difficult child had and not have a "negative educational --to say nothing of life--impact."

Martie

 

[Kjs]

Wow, sounds like my son.

His IEP:

He is allowed to leave to see social worker, counselor or program director (depending on who is there). He has pre made passes that he hands to the teacher and leaves when he feels anger coming on. Getting him out of the class and a chance to get it back together before something happens. Nobody knows where he goes unless HE tells them.

Reading...that was a big issue. For silent reading he is not required to read a book. Can read the news paper. (sports section, statistics) Gave him the Guiness Book of world records. He loves statistics...not stories.

He can do his writing assignments on the computer, writing is difficult for him.

Our VP played the games also with referrals, even without a referral threatening ISS. After I went and reviewed his folder with referrals I had it added to his IEP that I be notified each time difficult child is removed from class. I want it documented the amount of time he is removed from class. I want him to write his statement on the referral....What I found was a folder full of referrals, most without his statement, a few with his statement. There is an area for students statement giving them the opportunity to share their view point. I was not aware of 99% of these referrals. I was not aware that he spent most days in the office. I knew sometimes he was removed, but I was under the impression it was just for the remainder of what ever class he was in. I always ask "what happened prior" to whatever incedent. So many times the staff would do things that they KNOW sets him off. I also have it written on his IEP that he remain within the "seating charts" of a class. difficult child started calling me last year saying he wasn't going to class, they moved his desk to the corner. I went to school and after A LOT of talking I went to see his class. His desk was in the corner against the concrete wall, behind bookshelves. I took him home. This was set up like this before he even entered the classroom. "Just in case" is what I was told. Well, that made ME angry he didn't even do anything, you do that and he WILL be angry. It is stated that if he is disruptive to others around him that his seating arrangement for the remainder of that class can be changed. Also, the Dean of Students is one that screams at kids. She doesn't let you get a word in edge wise. She accuses you of doing things and doesn't let you respond. She doesn't even let parents respond. I requested over and over that she NOT deal with difficult child. If you yell at him...he's going to yell back. Finally when I got the SD involved the school agreed it would be best if she wasn't involved with difficult child. That is on his IEP.
difficult child is gifted. He isn't always defiant. he isn't always angry. He doesn't always refuse to do work. He can be set off in a split second and that is where we have things in place. He needs to recognize the feelings of anxiety, anger and he needs to take initiative before sometning happens. If he doesn't, there is a plan for the staff to follow.
There are a lot more options than I realized.

 

[CookieMomster]

THANK GOD. No one responded for a few days and i was scared.

I really have a bigger problem than I know... I just feel it. This is quite bizarre the way my daughter has changed in the last month... she has been on medications for a week and some things are better and some are worse... and... i have not filled out the freaking paperwork thingie for the sd yet... why? cause the questions tick me off... I dont have it right beside me but some of them are like
1. has problems making friends
2. has an unreal feeling that people are out to get them...

okay..my daughter can make friends...AND LOSE THEM. and...she does have the feeling people are out to get her..and some of them are very real feelings...

so i am trying to settle myself. I am going to answer just as I did above....

Does anyone care to be a tutor and help me?

 

[Martie]

This is a self-help site. We offer suggestions, but the members do all the heavy lifting.

Martie