Please pray for my Young difficult child...

[lovemysons]

Susie,
Please forgive me for not get back to you sooner. I looked at the thread yesterday but when I got online this morning I was concentrating on other posts.

Yes, you are right that the Sub Abuse issue with young difficult child overshadows all other diagnosis.
Until he recons with this "demon" he will not be able to move forward.

I spoke with his Attorney on Saturday. Was VERY impressed with her...She even has a brother in recovery from a Meth addiction. He has overcome and now has a Masters (I forget what field but he must be very smart!)

His Attorney said she will talk to young difficult child again today as well as the prosecutor.
I told her Everything! The Bipolor diagnosis at 13/14 yrs of age, the Drug Rehab, His time in the Military, how Alcohol has been a factor in each Felony Incident, etc. She took notes...and plans on discussing with the Prosecutor today.

She did tell me that "IF" young difficult child decides he truly Truly wants the help and asks the Judge for it that he will need to fervently stick with the program...Meaning, After Safe P then onto Halfway House he cannot walk off from Halfway House or his time starts ALL OVER again. It will be "time lost".

She also told me that if he goes into straight incarceration that he will likely be up for parole in a year. She said 40% of the time Parolee's are released after first parole hearing. She did say it could be up to 2 years of serving real time though even on a 5 yr sentence.
Of course, after he gets out, there is still the issue of wether or not he will use again. I just shake my head as I SO HOPE this hard lesson will be what it takes...that this is young difficult child's "bottom".

The plan...
After serious debate yesterday, it has been decided, that husband ME and daughter in law will drive to Amarillo tomorrow night to be there for young difficult child's court hearing Wednesday morning 9am.
My mother (surprise-surprise...she is not a "kid" person) is watching the grandbabies...her Great-grandbabies for h, me and daughter in law while we are gone.

I am waiting for the call from young difficult child's attorney today to see if there are any new developments.
Will let you all know when I know.

Thank you ALL again for the heartfelt responses and prayers said on young difficult child's behalf.
I am so thankful for this wonderful forum.
Love,
LMS

 

[toughlovin]

LMS i will be thinking of you tomorrow...it always helps to have family in the court room.

TL

 

[Nancy]

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping that if treatment is what he honestly wants he is offered that path.

Hugs,
Nancy

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Sending prayers and hopes!!!!

 

[DDD]

I can't even describe how fervently I hope that treatment is a possibility. Hugs DDD

 

[Kathy813]

I'll keep a good thought for the best possible outcome.

 

[pinevalley]

Sending prayers to you and your family on Wednesday. (((HUGS)))

 

[lovemysons]

Thanks you all.

Got the phone call from young difficult child's attorney (just awoken from a very Groggy sleep around 5:30pm). She said the best she could do with the attorney was a Sentence of 3 yrs vs 5.
She also said that young difficult child was not making a decision until likely Wednesday regarding Treatment or straight Incarceration.

Meanwhile, daughter in law is looking for a support on line. Told me something about "Prison without walls" something like that. I know she feels very alone. Lives with her mother and the 2 grandbabies with one on the way...But he mother definitely does not like young difficult child.
I am very close though with daughter in law...everyone agrees young difficult child "married his mother". Smile...she is very sweet and nurturing mom to my grandbabies.

So...tonight at around 6pm husband, myself and daughter in law will begin to make the somewhat long drive to Amarillo. TL, you are right I think it will be better for young difficult child to have us there to support him in the Court room. I think it will be especially important for young difficult child to see his Dad (husband) there.
husband though says he is going to support me. He was not there for oldest difficult child in the court room many yrs ago and finds it somewhat unfair that he be there for young difficult child now.
But their relationship needs help in my opinion. It's nothing intentional just husband and young difficult child are VERY different people from each other.
husband and Oldest difficult child are similar: Leaders, Outgoing, Driven.
Young difficult child is a very sensitive guy...Not necessarily a "leader" but not a follower either...He is just "his own person". Does not have any drive or ambition though, unfortunatley.
Young difficult child is a "What you see is what you get" kind of person. Now, he can "emotionally manipulate" at times but most real manipulation comes from our Oldest difficult child...who is always trying to find out what's next and be 2-3 steps ahead of you!

I think I'm rambling. Too much sleep yesterday and now I'm up in the middle of the night drinking coffee, and anxious for the next day and half.

Thanks you all for keeping young difficult child in your prayers.
You'd like him if you knew him...You'd love him of course if you were his mother.
LMS

 

[exhausted]

Sending prayers and thoughts for your family. Praying for those little babies esp. and hoping that in the end there will be good from this. (((Hugs)))

 

[Signorina]

Safe travels - holding you close in my thoughts today. Please take care {{{hugs}}}

 

[DDD]

I didn't realize that difficult child got to make the choice. That's so much better than the Prosecutor deciding his fate...way better. Fingers crossed that difficult child recognizes the difference between his choice and opts for the treatment option. You all are in my thoughts and prayers. DDD

 

[Ephchap]

LMS, first of all, big hugs. I know how this has to be tearing you apart inside. Please know that I'm sending good thoughts and prayers that your son will be eligible for treatment, and will be acceptable of the treatment. Our kids wiring be different is difficult on them, and when they try to self-medicate with drugs and/or alcohol, it truly does spin them out of control. Here's hoping that things work out as best they can.

Meanwhile, please take care of yourself. You are not in any way responsible for any of this and cannot feel at fault. Please keep yourself in a good place.

Hugs,
Deb

 

[susiestar]

No problems with not responding, LMS. You have a lot on your plate and responding to me is the least of it, or should be! I am glad husband is going with you. in my opinion it will be good for him as much as youngest. They truly are totally different people but not opposites. I find it fascinating that they can be so very different and also very much NOT polar opposites. I think your youngest IS a leader but hasn't found his flock yet. I see a LOT of leadership qualities in him. he is driven to find the path less travelled, not because it is less traveled but because it is the one that interests him. He is very much not easily led, and he never fails to find some interesting/unusual twist in a situation. When he finally embraces recovery he will do it the way my gfgbro did - 1000% percent. I phrased it a LOT less elegantly with gfgbro, but he did it the first time through because he put his mind to it. When your youngest is ready, nothing will stop him just the way NOTHING stopped him when he took this road. Just the way NOTHING diverted his interest in weather. I can completely see him as a storm chaser, can't you? in my opinion it would give him the adrenaline he seems to need and fit his interests. I don't know if I see a college degree or not in his future, but I am sure he has a great future. He just has to get out of his own way, kwm?

You have my best wishes and prayers. I hope he makes a good choice, whatever is right for him. I hope for rehab because I think it would be best, but whatever he chooses, htere is a plan.

Love you a lot, and will be there with you in spirit.

 

[Estherfromjerusalem]

I just saw this post. I am praying for your difficult child and for you and all your family, Tammy. And waiting to read what was the outcome in court.

Sending you hugs,

Love, Esther

 

[AmericanGirl]

LMS....know I am praying for all of you right now.

 

[Mattsmom277]

I am praying that tough as this is for your difficult child, that he says opportunity knocking to improve not only his legal situation but also his future. For his sake and for his family. As always keeping the whole bunch of you in my thoughts as well.

 

[JJJ]

((hugs)) and prayers