Big Bad Kitty
lolcat
Gaaahhhhhhhhhh
Pray for us
- Thread starter Star*
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everywoman
Well-Known Member
Prayers going up.
Star*
call 911........call 911
Well.....I do know that any thought or prayer helps. Thank you. I also keep all of you in my prayers as well. The older our kids get? The colder my supper gets. lol. Dude and Cory alone - well....lets just say the spaghetti could grow mold. lol
How is Dude? I dunno. I really don't. I think there is a part of him that has to do this trip. Then I think there is a part of him that could do without this trip all together if...I were financially well off and could buy him a nice vehicle, tags, insurance, etc.
The abridged version of life is too weird for typing:
x has NO money. Uncle was getting Dude the car. x found out and butted in, got Dude's # and called Dude.
Dude was a little surprised, but took the call. x asked Dude how he was getting there. Dude said Mom is buying bus ticket. x said bus ticket was not good enough. (Oh - okay Rockafeller - you got a better plan? I'm out.) So I cancelled bus ticket.
Dude now angry with x. x calls all happy and says "when will you be here?" Dude says "Whenever you send me money for plane ticket." x is confused. (what else is new?) Dude explains that when he said bus ticket was junk it was cancelled. Now x is trying to figure out how to save face and says he will get $$ to Dude. (ORLY? can't wait for this) Dude's plans with Uncle were to leave Friday. (I'm waiting)
Meantime - Dude calls to find out how much plane ticket is with no notice. (me...hahahahaha) (Dude - THAT aXX&*#$) (me...m hm) So x calls just to chat and Dude says "I had plans -you said no good - now I need $XXXX.00 by Wednesday." x says "Well, I..Uh...there...I have no...." Dude says "How were you going to buy ME a CAR if you have NO MONEY?" (dead silence)
There is a car lot - and I can get credit. Dude says "I can't take a car out of state with credit due....Mom's insurance won't allow it (good thinking) Again - he says "HOW would you even put a down payment on a a Car if you have NO MONEY??
(me...OHhhh Ohhhhh I know...pick me...pick me....)
Then ....(oh this is just classic) x tells Dude he'll have to wait until Wednesday because (OMG please do not be drinking when you read this) he has to put out a few more girls on his escort service and he has a doctors appointment and will get his prescription and sell some more pain pills...so he should have the money wired to him by Wednesday. I mean I WISH I could insert a
but I'm telling you NOTHING about this man shocks me anymore. NOTHING. Dude got off the phone and said - "My 'dad-deeee' wants to pay for my trip with drugs and who$#%." and just laughed. So I said "Well what did you think he was buying the car with? Hard earned cash?" Dude just laughed and said "I'm so glad I know that Uncle V is the one giving me the car and letting x think he's giving me the car." ROFL
Honest to Pete ---see, you all think I'm goofy because of 19 years with Dude - it started Waaaaaay before that. lol. This man is the epitome of Somewhere a village is missing there idiot. And yet people consistantly feel sorry for him, and try to bail him out of his self-made misery and cover up his inadequacies instead of him just coming clean to his son after all this time and saying...I wish or I'd like to....Nope...he lies, and once again Dude has to be the one to stand there and be the bigger man, or just man period.
Parts of me are just sad and furious - and other parts of me just want to wish this person never existed. And there's another part of me that five years ago -what I wished? I couldn't even type here what I'd like to do or I would probably get hauled off. What a pathetic excuse for a human being.
How proud I am of Dude for being able to rise as far above this as he has - How sad is it that a Mother should even have to type something like that when a person who has such a wonderful son has been given a second chance to be decent and this is what he does with it?
PAthetic
How is Dude? I dunno. I really don't. I think there is a part of him that has to do this trip. Then I think there is a part of him that could do without this trip all together if...I were financially well off and could buy him a nice vehicle, tags, insurance, etc.
The abridged version of life is too weird for typing:
x has NO money. Uncle was getting Dude the car. x found out and butted in, got Dude's # and called Dude.
Dude was a little surprised, but took the call. x asked Dude how he was getting there. Dude said Mom is buying bus ticket. x said bus ticket was not good enough. (Oh - okay Rockafeller - you got a better plan? I'm out.) So I cancelled bus ticket.
Dude now angry with x. x calls all happy and says "when will you be here?" Dude says "Whenever you send me money for plane ticket." x is confused. (what else is new?) Dude explains that when he said bus ticket was junk it was cancelled. Now x is trying to figure out how to save face and says he will get $$ to Dude. (ORLY? can't wait for this) Dude's plans with Uncle were to leave Friday. (I'm waiting)
Meantime - Dude calls to find out how much plane ticket is with no notice. (me...hahahahaha) (Dude - THAT aXX&*#$) (me...m hm) So x calls just to chat and Dude says "I had plans -you said no good - now I need $XXXX.00 by Wednesday." x says "Well, I..Uh...there...I have no...." Dude says "How were you going to buy ME a CAR if you have NO MONEY?" (dead silence)
There is a car lot - and I can get credit. Dude says "I can't take a car out of state with credit due....Mom's insurance won't allow it (good thinking) Again - he says "HOW would you even put a down payment on a a Car if you have NO MONEY??
(me...OHhhh Ohhhhh I know...pick me...pick me....)
Then ....(oh this is just classic) x tells Dude he'll have to wait until Wednesday because (OMG please do not be drinking when you read this) he has to put out a few more girls on his escort service and he has a doctors appointment and will get his prescription and sell some more pain pills...so he should have the money wired to him by Wednesday. I mean I WISH I could insert a
but I'm telling you NOTHING about this man shocks me anymore. NOTHING. Dude got off the phone and said - "My 'dad-deeee' wants to pay for my trip with drugs and who$#%." and just laughed. So I said "Well what did you think he was buying the car with? Hard earned cash?" Dude just laughed and said "I'm so glad I know that Uncle V is the one giving me the car and letting x think he's giving me the car." ROFL Honest to Pete ---see, you all think I'm goofy because of 19 years with Dude - it started Waaaaaay before that. lol. This man is the epitome of Somewhere a village is missing there idiot. And yet people consistantly feel sorry for him, and try to bail him out of his self-made misery and cover up his inadequacies instead of him just coming clean to his son after all this time and saying...I wish or I'd like to....Nope...he lies, and once again Dude has to be the one to stand there and be the bigger man, or just man period.
Parts of me are just sad and furious - and other parts of me just want to wish this person never existed. And there's another part of me that five years ago -what I wished? I couldn't even type here what I'd like to do or I would probably get hauled off. What a pathetic excuse for a human being.
How proud I am of Dude for being able to rise as far above this as he has - How sad is it that a Mother should even have to type something like that when a person who has such a wonderful son has been given a second chance to be decent and this is what he does with it?
PAthetic
DDD
Well-Known Member
I'm sad. I'm glad. Most of all I'm chapped that so many of our children have to live without caring and support from both bioparents. It really is a bummer. I bet 1/2 of the difficult child's on this Board have suffered the insult of rejection by a parent. Geez.........no doubt, it is a multi-generational issue that impacts society. Hugs to Dude. His progress is amazing. DDD
Star*
call 911........call 911
OMG......my cell phone rang today and .......
it was the one who shall not be named.....
I recognized the area code.....and did not answer.
It went to voice mail....I did not listen
I called my house, I calmly told DF that difficult child had a call from x....DF was rather amazed that I was so calm and said he would deliver the message....oh BOY would he DELIVER...because we told difficult child under NO circumstances was x to have MY FLIPPING phone number.
ack ack ......phooey.....ugh......grrrrrrrr.
Then Dude said "I SWEAR TO YOU ON A BILLION BIBLES I DID NOT GIVE HIM YOUR PHONE NUMBER MOM....DAD, I SWEAR." and then he calls his BFF, and BFF said "OH I had NO idea that was a NO NO - he called my phone and asked how to get in touch with you."
----my brain is making that sound that Charlie Brown makes when Lucy pulls the football away from him.....since like - 9:30 this AM.....over and over....and over......and.....oh great. THIS IS JUST great.....
I have no contract on this phone and did not WANT to get back into a contract....and now THIS????? This man is the plague.....
it was the one who shall not be named.....
I recognized the area code.....and did not answer.
It went to voice mail....I did not listen
I called my house, I calmly told DF that difficult child had a call from x....DF was rather amazed that I was so calm and said he would deliver the message....oh BOY would he DELIVER...because we told difficult child under NO circumstances was x to have MY FLIPPING phone number.
ack ack ......phooey.....ugh......grrrrrrrr.
Then Dude said "I SWEAR TO YOU ON A BILLION BIBLES I DID NOT GIVE HIM YOUR PHONE NUMBER MOM....DAD, I SWEAR." and then he calls his BFF, and BFF said "OH I had NO idea that was a NO NO - he called my phone and asked how to get in touch with you."
----my brain is making that sound that Charlie Brown makes when Lucy pulls the football away from him.....since like - 9:30 this AM.....over and over....and over......and.....oh great. THIS IS JUST great.....
I have no contract on this phone and did not WANT to get back into a contract....and now THIS????? This man is the plague.....
totoro
Mom? What's a difficult child?
Get rid of the phone
I had such a sick feeling reading the first post and now... I don't want this man even in any of your thoughts let alone on your voice mail.
Poor Dude, I really hope he gives up any thoughts of going.
I am sure the thoughts you are having are like the ones I have had about my Father, some days I felt like I wouldn't even care if they hauled my butt off.
You are such a wonderful Momma for even discussing this whole issue with him. Most would be a ranting and raving banshee- SHUTUP no discussion!
I had such a sick feeling reading the first post and now... I don't want this man even in any of your thoughts let alone on your voice mail.
Poor Dude, I really hope he gives up any thoughts of going.
I am sure the thoughts you are having are like the ones I have had about my Father, some days I felt like I wouldn't even care if they hauled my butt off.
You are such a wonderful Momma for even discussing this whole issue with him. Most would be a ranting and raving banshee- SHUTUP no discussion!
Star*
call 911........call 911
Toto -
15 years of therapy ---THAT's what I kept thinking today....I thank the psychiatrist for EMDR and the ability to stop the flashbacks...because had it not been for that? I'm not quite sure what I'd be doing. All I know is that I'm remarkable calm....it's almost scary. Actually it IS scary - DF called twice and he said "Are you sure you're Okay? You sound remarkably...calm." I answered him almost like it was an annoying question "Yes fine...need to get back to work." and other than posting here and thinking about changing the number? Really hasn't rented space in my head. Neat huh?
I worried that this day would come. We spoke to the therapist about it quite a while back and knew that there might be a someday or a day of reckoning for Dude and x. Thing is? Despite what x did to Dude there is still the curiosity to go. Therapist said it could go either way for Dude. It could help him get over that time/place in his head when horrible things happened at the hand of x....and he could confront x about it and be done with it....or he could forgive x and walk away from it all. Hard to tell.
Toto - I know this hits close to your heart. I know after all you went through you gave your Dad a 2nd chance and I have no idea how you found the ability to do that. You and Dude are 2 of a kind.
Hugs -
15 years of therapy ---THAT's what I kept thinking today....I thank the psychiatrist for EMDR and the ability to stop the flashbacks...because had it not been for that? I'm not quite sure what I'd be doing. All I know is that I'm remarkable calm....it's almost scary. Actually it IS scary - DF called twice and he said "Are you sure you're Okay? You sound remarkably...calm." I answered him almost like it was an annoying question "Yes fine...need to get back to work." and other than posting here and thinking about changing the number? Really hasn't rented space in my head. Neat huh?
I worried that this day would come. We spoke to the therapist about it quite a while back and knew that there might be a someday or a day of reckoning for Dude and x. Thing is? Despite what x did to Dude there is still the curiosity to go. Therapist said it could go either way for Dude. It could help him get over that time/place in his head when horrible things happened at the hand of x....and he could confront x about it and be done with it....or he could forgive x and walk away from it all. Hard to tell.
Toto - I know this hits close to your heart. I know after all you went through you gave your Dad a 2nd chance and I have no idea how you found the ability to do that. You and Dude are 2 of a kind.
Hugs -
hi
yup it's me......... crawling slowly out of her corner.
So proud of your son, words cannot even describe. I read each post in here, each reply. It sounds to me like you have truly come full circle, calm woman that you are lol, i am so impressed with you as well.
Dude's going to be ok, and do you know why he will be ok? because he sounds like he so very much of you in him, underneath all the mess lies this amazing person who will shine through.
(((hugs))) missed reading your posts and that worped sense of humor. I'm glad that it's happening now, at a time in which you are ready for it to happen, even if you didn't think so.
yup it's me......... crawling slowly out of her corner.
So proud of your son, words cannot even describe. I read each post in here, each reply. It sounds to me like you have truly come full circle, calm woman that you are lol, i am so impressed with you as well.
Dude's going to be ok, and do you know why he will be ok? because he sounds like he so very much of you in him, underneath all the mess lies this amazing person who will shine through.
(((hugs))) missed reading your posts and that worped sense of humor. I'm glad that it's happening now, at a time in which you are ready for it to happen, even if you didn't think so.
