rejectedmom
New Member
Well The PO asked for a review of probation requested and got an additional 24 months.
The judge ordered difficult child to be held at the county prison untill a complete evaluation can be done on him and then an inpatient treatment facility for a 28 day program. Problem is that difficult child has been sober for two months now and probably won't qualify for any program and if not he can be held in prison for the entire two years. His offence? He got drunk and was asked to leave program housing. difficult child took that as rejection and stopped going to the program entirely. He continued to call his PO and paid his court fees and went to AA meetings regularly. He found another soberhouse and moved in. But difficult child isn't real ambitious or job savy and he had a girlfriend that he liked hanging out with so his job hunt consisted of checking maybe one place a day late in the afternoon. Needless to say with a felony record his disability and his lack of urgency, he couldn't find steady work. When he couldn't make his rent he was asked to leave the soberhouse difficult child's mental health worker took another job and no one followed up so difficult child was left on the street to figure things out on his own. Right after he left program housing his social worker went out on maturnity leave and no one was re-assigned to the case so he had no contact person at the program anyway. So even if he had attended regularly he wouldn't have been supervised. The system failed again and my son is now caught up in it for another 2 years. After the first sober house, difficult child moved from one buddy's house to another's with girlfriend following along. Then finally after two weeks of this she went to live with an aunt and difficult child got into another sober house. I then paid for three weeks rent so he could stay there and have a stable environment while looking for work. I told him he had to do this if he wanted to stay out of jail. I also told him to get a PD which he did. (evidently the guy did nothing) difficult child got a job, was put on the payroll on monday and went to court yesterday and the judge threw the book at him. Now remember, this is a borderline retarded individual with a social age of about 15 years. He has ADHD, severe depression and was recently diagnosis bi polar. His mental health history is a mile long. He has been hospitalized with depression three different times, he made two sucide gestures while in prison and one feeble escape attempt which put him in isolation for three months without visitations. So even with all that evidence that this is not a normal person, difficult child is sent back to prison for not doing all the requirements of his parole. The reasoning that the PO gave me? When he was drunk he made nasty threats which he did not act upon and has no recollection of. The police investigated and gave difficult child a warning and he has been sober ever since. Anyway after that incident difficult child got so depressed he ended up going to crisis intervention where he told of his mental health issues. The things he told them somehow were made available ( I will have to find out if this was through a suppeona) to the PO and the court and it was decided that difficult child "might" hurt someone. PO went on to tell me that IF that happened she and the PO office would be held accountable. She also told me the day before court that she was only going to ask for 9 months when she in fact asked for 24. Then after it is all over and difficult child starts sobbing uncontrollably in court, she breaks down crying goes to the ladies room and calls me. Over the phone she tells me that she feels like she let difficult child down (DUH!) and that she is probably not cut out for this job and might start looking for a new one. She added that she was going to transfer difficult child's case over to a special unit for the mentally ill within the Po office. (Ummmmmmmm why hadn't that been done months ago? And why is this the first I've heard that such a unit existed.) She said that workers in that unit typically had 30 cases to her 120. Then she tells me to contact MHMR to get the process going again to get difficult child out of prison and into a rehab and this time try to get him into a group hom in my city (which is what I had asked for and didn't get the last time) bla bla bla. Problem is MHMR won't serve inmates I remember that from the last time. It has to come from the PO's office and difficult child's case won't be transfered for about three months. So here I go again with no contact person to even get things in motion. I've called NAMI and they have no one in this area.
husband has never learned the detachment with love concept and so has merely shut down entirely. (His heart wasn't that big to begin with so it isn't a huge feat). I cannot get husband to even concider any financial expense to try to help difficult child. As a result of my trying to open a dialoge on the subject we are no longer on speaking terms. husband didn't even call me to find out about court and didn't take my calls when I tried to call him. (He is away on business) It took me five hours to finally reach him.
I am having trouble shaking this off. I had a good cry last night but am still very sad and droopy. I requested that difficult child be put on a sucide watch and think that it is probably in effect because he hasn't called me yet. -RM
The judge ordered difficult child to be held at the county prison untill a complete evaluation can be done on him and then an inpatient treatment facility for a 28 day program. Problem is that difficult child has been sober for two months now and probably won't qualify for any program and if not he can be held in prison for the entire two years. His offence? He got drunk and was asked to leave program housing. difficult child took that as rejection and stopped going to the program entirely. He continued to call his PO and paid his court fees and went to AA meetings regularly. He found another soberhouse and moved in. But difficult child isn't real ambitious or job savy and he had a girlfriend that he liked hanging out with so his job hunt consisted of checking maybe one place a day late in the afternoon. Needless to say with a felony record his disability and his lack of urgency, he couldn't find steady work. When he couldn't make his rent he was asked to leave the soberhouse difficult child's mental health worker took another job and no one followed up so difficult child was left on the street to figure things out on his own. Right after he left program housing his social worker went out on maturnity leave and no one was re-assigned to the case so he had no contact person at the program anyway. So even if he had attended regularly he wouldn't have been supervised. The system failed again and my son is now caught up in it for another 2 years. After the first sober house, difficult child moved from one buddy's house to another's with girlfriend following along. Then finally after two weeks of this she went to live with an aunt and difficult child got into another sober house. I then paid for three weeks rent so he could stay there and have a stable environment while looking for work. I told him he had to do this if he wanted to stay out of jail. I also told him to get a PD which he did. (evidently the guy did nothing) difficult child got a job, was put on the payroll on monday and went to court yesterday and the judge threw the book at him. Now remember, this is a borderline retarded individual with a social age of about 15 years. He has ADHD, severe depression and was recently diagnosis bi polar. His mental health history is a mile long. He has been hospitalized with depression three different times, he made two sucide gestures while in prison and one feeble escape attempt which put him in isolation for three months without visitations. So even with all that evidence that this is not a normal person, difficult child is sent back to prison for not doing all the requirements of his parole. The reasoning that the PO gave me? When he was drunk he made nasty threats which he did not act upon and has no recollection of. The police investigated and gave difficult child a warning and he has been sober ever since. Anyway after that incident difficult child got so depressed he ended up going to crisis intervention where he told of his mental health issues. The things he told them somehow were made available ( I will have to find out if this was through a suppeona) to the PO and the court and it was decided that difficult child "might" hurt someone. PO went on to tell me that IF that happened she and the PO office would be held accountable. She also told me the day before court that she was only going to ask for 9 months when she in fact asked for 24. Then after it is all over and difficult child starts sobbing uncontrollably in court, she breaks down crying goes to the ladies room and calls me. Over the phone she tells me that she feels like she let difficult child down (DUH!) and that she is probably not cut out for this job and might start looking for a new one. She added that she was going to transfer difficult child's case over to a special unit for the mentally ill within the Po office. (Ummmmmmmm why hadn't that been done months ago? And why is this the first I've heard that such a unit existed.) She said that workers in that unit typically had 30 cases to her 120. Then she tells me to contact MHMR to get the process going again to get difficult child out of prison and into a rehab and this time try to get him into a group hom in my city (which is what I had asked for and didn't get the last time) bla bla bla. Problem is MHMR won't serve inmates I remember that from the last time. It has to come from the PO's office and difficult child's case won't be transfered for about three months. So here I go again with no contact person to even get things in motion. I've called NAMI and they have no one in this area.
husband has never learned the detachment with love concept and so has merely shut down entirely. (His heart wasn't that big to begin with so it isn't a huge feat). I cannot get husband to even concider any financial expense to try to help difficult child. As a result of my trying to open a dialoge on the subject we are no longer on speaking terms. husband didn't even call me to find out about court and didn't take my calls when I tried to call him. (He is away on business) It took me five hours to finally reach him.
I am having trouble shaking this off. I had a good cry last night but am still very sad and droopy. I requested that difficult child be put on a sucide watch and think that it is probably in effect because he hasn't called me yet. -RM
