mollyzuzu
Member
HI there, the last time I wrote on here, we were valiantly trying to get residential for our son because he was unsafe with drugs and cutting. Well, the state finally took hold and put him into a group home for boys 350 miles away from us. He was in shelter care coming out of drug rehab and they needed to find a placement for him pronto as the court was becoming angry. As is was, a lot of the homes were denying a placement with them because of his issues. So, this one came up, 6 hours away. This was the week before Thanksgiving.
Fast forward to now. Now he does not talk to us, either by phone or mail. He does call when he wanted goodies or wants a special pair of shoes or something like that. We visited in December for Christmas and opened gifts with him. He was only able to spend 1.5 hours with us until his anxiety kicked in. luckily my sister lives just 2 hours from there and we went to visit her, not to waste a 350 mile journey.
It is so surreal. NOW we are in the court system, were warned to stay away and out by many, but here we are. Now we need to set up a reunification plan with the social worker and she is in no hurry to do that. I do not know what it is that we need to correct or work on. Hopefully the therapist we are seeing can help me figure out what we need to work on. All I was doing with son was watching him like a hawk and would not let him have freedom because when he got that, he went to the stores and stole cold medications and od's everytime. which, did lead me to resenting him and becoming very frustrated that I could not keep him out of the hospital.
He HAD to go , he would've wound up in the neighborhood funeral home if he didn't. I just feel so so lost with how this is going to go now. From what I have read in other cases, the state can actually take him permanently if reunification does not work. And I guess If that is the way it goes, I hope they can find a system that works for him and can help him.
Then there is the business of child support, omg what a tangle. We still have not found out how much our support will be. They want to take 34% of our wages to support him. We do have an attourney, but my goodness, 34%?? Child support is 17% but they want monies from both of us. So, once that boom is lowered at least we will know where we stand. Hopefully it will leave us some money to live and support our other son at home. AND hopefully we can bring peewee home in another 6-8months.
So much to think about. At least while he has been gone hubby and I have had a chance to simmer down and actually breathe. maybe by the time he comes back we will be able to stand back and see things for what they are and not let the emotional aspect kick in. It was so hard towards the end before son went into the group home. I just felt like such a failure and so bad for him that he could not stop what he was doing to himself, yet there was nothing or no one to help him/us.
Well I have rambled for too long. Just wanted you to know son finally got into residential. He has thereapy once a week plus AODA counseling, goes to school on site and has options to do arts, crafts, and other things but chooses not to.
Fast forward to now. Now he does not talk to us, either by phone or mail. He does call when he wanted goodies or wants a special pair of shoes or something like that. We visited in December for Christmas and opened gifts with him. He was only able to spend 1.5 hours with us until his anxiety kicked in. luckily my sister lives just 2 hours from there and we went to visit her, not to waste a 350 mile journey.
It is so surreal. NOW we are in the court system, were warned to stay away and out by many, but here we are. Now we need to set up a reunification plan with the social worker and she is in no hurry to do that. I do not know what it is that we need to correct or work on. Hopefully the therapist we are seeing can help me figure out what we need to work on. All I was doing with son was watching him like a hawk and would not let him have freedom because when he got that, he went to the stores and stole cold medications and od's everytime. which, did lead me to resenting him and becoming very frustrated that I could not keep him out of the hospital.
He HAD to go , he would've wound up in the neighborhood funeral home if he didn't. I just feel so so lost with how this is going to go now. From what I have read in other cases, the state can actually take him permanently if reunification does not work. And I guess If that is the way it goes, I hope they can find a system that works for him and can help him.
Then there is the business of child support, omg what a tangle. We still have not found out how much our support will be. They want to take 34% of our wages to support him. We do have an attourney, but my goodness, 34%?? Child support is 17% but they want monies from both of us. So, once that boom is lowered at least we will know where we stand. Hopefully it will leave us some money to live and support our other son at home. AND hopefully we can bring peewee home in another 6-8months.
So much to think about. At least while he has been gone hubby and I have had a chance to simmer down and actually breathe. maybe by the time he comes back we will be able to stand back and see things for what they are and not let the emotional aspect kick in. It was so hard towards the end before son went into the group home. I just felt like such a failure and so bad for him that he could not stop what he was doing to himself, yet there was nothing or no one to help him/us.
Well I have rambled for too long. Just wanted you to know son finally got into residential. He has thereapy once a week plus AODA counseling, goes to school on site and has options to do arts, crafts, and other things but chooses not to.