Thank you Tanya (and Insane). In my experience with my son this has been true. He could not stand himself if I tolerated everything. When I began drawing a line, he felt he could begin to draw a line himself. It was if doing so myself, permitted him to do the same. I modeled the demanding self-respect. He is following with respecting me more, and accepting and respecting himself more, too. I am not sure how and why it is working this way, but it is.
First, came me. Demanding for me. Then came him towards me. Now is following him for himself.
I hate even to put it into words, should it go away. Again I will write the caveat. I understand one day does not a pattern make. But it gives me hope. For a long, long time I was afraid to feel love. I am feeling love and saying so.
Thank you.