Star*
call 911........call 911
If you know us - then this will seem almost unreal. If you don't know us then this may give you hope if you stick with a good consistant therapy plan and despite all the ups and downs - it's a sign of maturation.
Saturday I got a call from Dude. I could hear kids crying in the background. Never a good thing. I ask the dreaded "What's wrong?" and of course you know no one is going to say a word. I get "Are you going to be home?" Well had planned on going to run a few errands but said I would wait.
Dude gets there and O.M.G. he is driving his car (remember almost on COPS?) so I'm NOT happy. He was followed to our house by a friend. Grrrr. Asks if he can just leave his car there and comes in the house to where I am and just sits. You can tell he's been crying & I know he's upset so I just sat down and asked if he was hungry. Figured if he wanted to talk - he would. Didn't press.
He said the fosters are interviewing for a new child. They didn't even have the decency to tell him that they are going to put him out by December. He walked in the house and overheard the conversation. He's supposed to have a place to stay if he stays in school until graduation. But oh well. I told him - it's their house - they can do as they please. He said it wasn't that. It was the fact that they tell him he's like family - then have treated him like dirt, and when he walked in they changed the subject. I said - well it's really none of your business.
Then the tears started flowing and he said that really wasn't why he was upset. Apparently one of his buddies has a Father that is very bad into crack cocaine and owes his dealers a lot. They live in a trailer pretty far out. The boy is a good kid, with a lot of tough breaks, no Mom to speak of. Thursday was the last the gang had seen him. Saturday morning - one of their other buddies went to his place to see where he had been and the door was ajar. He pushed it open and there was their friend in a chair in the living room beaten and bruised with his head shot off. The friend got in his truck and went home freaked out so badly his Mom called 911 and he had to go by ambulance to the psychiatric. ward and the boys Father went to verify and called the police from the friends house that it was true.
Dude at this point was sobbing and hating all crack heads and his own biological father, and alcohol and all that goes with it. He did not understand why the drug dealers shot the boy and not the useless Father. I explained for this very reason - I took Dude and left. It gave me an opportunity to explain to him some of the things that happened in OUR life and while he was only 5 - he remembered things that were taken and gunshots into the house. He asked if THAT was why? Because of his biofather and drugs? I said "Yes." That made him cry even harder. I said "I know you haven't understood really for a long, long time and I knew too when I took you and left that you would hate me...it was a chance I was willing to take so we'd be alive and you wouldn't end up like your friend -because dealers don't hurt the addicts - they go after the family. This is why I really asked you NOT to pursue the child support thing as well.
He just looked at me and started saying how much he hated drugs, crack heads and booze and how he wished it would just disappear for everyone. I agreed, but told him that it was a choice...I also told him I was proud of him for choosing to stay away from it. He started to say how much he hated his biofather....and I stopped him and said -don't hate him -hate the addiction. It's an awful thing - and he has nothing. NOTHING. I have you - you have me - he has no one. His choice - but he still has no one.
Then his other buddy callled and told him that another friend of theirs had been found stabbed 25 times for going to get his girlfriend from a party. The kid lost his job and the girl (all about the dollar) broke up with him and went to a party. Men there made unwanted advances so she called her x. He came to her rescue and several men jumped him and stabbed him. He's now in intensive care fighting for his life.
Now while this is horrible......and I completely understanding burying three friends in one year at 18-19 years old( First our son Steven, then DeQuan shot in the head while riding his bike for no reason and now this boy over crack)....I'm very proud of my son because the old Dude would have gone off the deep end or done something stupid or ridiculous......this kid? He just sat there and said "I just need a hug Mom." Then he said - I need something to do to work off the frustration so I stay busy. I said "How about wash my car??" (wishful thinking at best) but semi-old Dude said - How about not?
The car will remain at my house.....and we have talked about selling it. I also got to meet his incredibly cute and oh so adorable girlfriend and his buddy's girlfriend....and I like them. He's been dating her 2 months and finally decided she could meet me/us. (DF & the dogs) lol. His family.
The boys funeral apparently isn't going to be right away as there is a lot of investigation going on and it's been kept out of the news - until the Father is notified or found or whatever.....what a nice man huh. I hope they make him look at the photos I think he should get life right along with the men that killed his son.....he killed him just as much as they did in my opinion.
I hope the boy that went into the hospital and the other one that is in the psychiatric ward can get a prayer or two from anyone who has it to spare.
Gosh things are not like they were when we were kids are they? Not at all.
Thanks if you made it this far. Just wanted to let you know how far Dude has come with maturation and control - there is always hope. (knock on wood)
Saturday I got a call from Dude. I could hear kids crying in the background. Never a good thing. I ask the dreaded "What's wrong?" and of course you know no one is going to say a word. I get "Are you going to be home?" Well had planned on going to run a few errands but said I would wait.
Dude gets there and O.M.G. he is driving his car (remember almost on COPS?) so I'm NOT happy. He was followed to our house by a friend. Grrrr. Asks if he can just leave his car there and comes in the house to where I am and just sits. You can tell he's been crying & I know he's upset so I just sat down and asked if he was hungry. Figured if he wanted to talk - he would. Didn't press.
He said the fosters are interviewing for a new child. They didn't even have the decency to tell him that they are going to put him out by December. He walked in the house and overheard the conversation. He's supposed to have a place to stay if he stays in school until graduation. But oh well. I told him - it's their house - they can do as they please. He said it wasn't that. It was the fact that they tell him he's like family - then have treated him like dirt, and when he walked in they changed the subject. I said - well it's really none of your business.
Then the tears started flowing and he said that really wasn't why he was upset. Apparently one of his buddies has a Father that is very bad into crack cocaine and owes his dealers a lot. They live in a trailer pretty far out. The boy is a good kid, with a lot of tough breaks, no Mom to speak of. Thursday was the last the gang had seen him. Saturday morning - one of their other buddies went to his place to see where he had been and the door was ajar. He pushed it open and there was their friend in a chair in the living room beaten and bruised with his head shot off. The friend got in his truck and went home freaked out so badly his Mom called 911 and he had to go by ambulance to the psychiatric. ward and the boys Father went to verify and called the police from the friends house that it was true.
Dude at this point was sobbing and hating all crack heads and his own biological father, and alcohol and all that goes with it. He did not understand why the drug dealers shot the boy and not the useless Father. I explained for this very reason - I took Dude and left. It gave me an opportunity to explain to him some of the things that happened in OUR life and while he was only 5 - he remembered things that were taken and gunshots into the house. He asked if THAT was why? Because of his biofather and drugs? I said "Yes." That made him cry even harder. I said "I know you haven't understood really for a long, long time and I knew too when I took you and left that you would hate me...it was a chance I was willing to take so we'd be alive and you wouldn't end up like your friend -because dealers don't hurt the addicts - they go after the family. This is why I really asked you NOT to pursue the child support thing as well.
He just looked at me and started saying how much he hated drugs, crack heads and booze and how he wished it would just disappear for everyone. I agreed, but told him that it was a choice...I also told him I was proud of him for choosing to stay away from it. He started to say how much he hated his biofather....and I stopped him and said -don't hate him -hate the addiction. It's an awful thing - and he has nothing. NOTHING. I have you - you have me - he has no one. His choice - but he still has no one.
Then his other buddy callled and told him that another friend of theirs had been found stabbed 25 times for going to get his girlfriend from a party. The kid lost his job and the girl (all about the dollar) broke up with him and went to a party. Men there made unwanted advances so she called her x. He came to her rescue and several men jumped him and stabbed him. He's now in intensive care fighting for his life.
Now while this is horrible......and I completely understanding burying three friends in one year at 18-19 years old( First our son Steven, then DeQuan shot in the head while riding his bike for no reason and now this boy over crack)....I'm very proud of my son because the old Dude would have gone off the deep end or done something stupid or ridiculous......this kid? He just sat there and said "I just need a hug Mom." Then he said - I need something to do to work off the frustration so I stay busy. I said "How about wash my car??" (wishful thinking at best) but semi-old Dude said - How about not?
The car will remain at my house.....and we have talked about selling it. I also got to meet his incredibly cute and oh so adorable girlfriend and his buddy's girlfriend....and I like them. He's been dating her 2 months and finally decided she could meet me/us. (DF & the dogs) lol. His family.
The boys funeral apparently isn't going to be right away as there is a lot of investigation going on and it's been kept out of the news - until the Father is notified or found or whatever.....what a nice man huh. I hope they make him look at the photos I think he should get life right along with the men that killed his son.....he killed him just as much as they did in my opinion.
I hope the boy that went into the hospital and the other one that is in the psychiatric ward can get a prayer or two from anyone who has it to spare.
Gosh things are not like they were when we were kids are they? Not at all.
Thanks if you made it this far. Just wanted to let you know how far Dude has come with maturation and control - there is always hope. (knock on wood)
