A
aWillowBreeze
Guest
I posted an intro on the general section and was directed this way for parents with 18+ difficult child's..(he just turned 18 in late June) I'm copy/pasting the a paragraph here followed by a short update for those who may not have seen my intro..and then i'll be hopping on board learning about others situations so i can properly participate in other threads..
Most recent situation.. My son has no diploma, no job, no car, lost his license. I've worked hard with the school & my schedule to arrange for my son to attend night "rescue classes". I offered all transportation from his bio-dads home to school and back,even clothing, food..etc It would only be 4 hrs,3 nights a week and he could have a diploma by the holidays. He has faked sick and refused to go to the 1st 3 classes. He asked for $15 to go to the Dr. yesterday (he needs the excuse if he wants to be allowed to continue the program). I offered him a check made out to the Dr. and he essentially refused it by trying to claim the Dr. would not take a check and why was i "being like that" . Our son has only been in the Ex's current home for 3 wks and he's already recieved 3 calls from the landlord with complaints. I was informed last night he would be kicking him out this weekend. My ex was evicted from his last apt. due to our son's behavior just a couple months ago..so i admit i understand his position on this particular subject. I have been in tears this morning with this knowledge and the all too common sinking feeling that you just don't know where or what my son will do next..
Update..difficult child's bio-father wasted no time. Got a call Friday. at 11am
Me: Hello
difficult child: Hey,I'm moving back in with you..I'm getting kicked out. (followed by his version of explanations)
Me: well you know we have stricter rules here than there and they will be enforced if you come home..
difficult child: yea I know..i can't talk about that right now..I'll be there by midnight or text you if i stay with my friend..we can talk about the rules and all tomorrow.
bio-dad apparently did not realize there were extra keys so telling difficult child not to come back to the home unless he was there or I was with him to get his things really didn't matter.. difficult child seemingly decided to have a last hurrah with buddies that evening causing another call to the landlord.. Bio-dad called me Saturday and was furious..luckily for him the landlord is giving him a chance,having the locks replaced at bio-dads expense and with the understanding difficult child will no longer be there...
difficult child is here now..but i dont expect peace for long as i doubt he will want to follow our rules such as : he MUST attend rescue classes for diploma, GED classes or have a job..18 or not..while here he will have a curfew. No license = no driving our vehicles..period! we shouldn't have to hide keys so if he's caught driving one of our vehicles he WILL be charged. If he's caught lying about his whereabouts, stealing $ or etc's..he's out. We had provided him a cell phone for months to assist us in making schedule arrangements to help get him to previous court dates/school etc..but we're at the end of our "helping rope" If he's kicked out this time the phone will be cut off , transportation or any other help we've offered in the past will no longer be available.
Today has been quite nice..but tomorrow once my girls are in school ( just in case there is drama ) he will be sat down and get the full understanding of whats expected and over the course of the next week we will see quickly how willing he is or isn't to comply.
Looking forward to exchanging support ,questions and advice with everyone here.. ((hugs to all))
Most recent situation.. My son has no diploma, no job, no car, lost his license. I've worked hard with the school & my schedule to arrange for my son to attend night "rescue classes". I offered all transportation from his bio-dads home to school and back,even clothing, food..etc It would only be 4 hrs,3 nights a week and he could have a diploma by the holidays. He has faked sick and refused to go to the 1st 3 classes. He asked for $15 to go to the Dr. yesterday (he needs the excuse if he wants to be allowed to continue the program). I offered him a check made out to the Dr. and he essentially refused it by trying to claim the Dr. would not take a check and why was i "being like that" . Our son has only been in the Ex's current home for 3 wks and he's already recieved 3 calls from the landlord with complaints. I was informed last night he would be kicking him out this weekend. My ex was evicted from his last apt. due to our son's behavior just a couple months ago..so i admit i understand his position on this particular subject. I have been in tears this morning with this knowledge and the all too common sinking feeling that you just don't know where or what my son will do next..
Update..difficult child's bio-father wasted no time. Got a call Friday. at 11am
Me: Hello
difficult child: Hey,I'm moving back in with you..I'm getting kicked out. (followed by his version of explanations)
Me: well you know we have stricter rules here than there and they will be enforced if you come home..
difficult child: yea I know..i can't talk about that right now..I'll be there by midnight or text you if i stay with my friend..we can talk about the rules and all tomorrow.
bio-dad apparently did not realize there were extra keys so telling difficult child not to come back to the home unless he was there or I was with him to get his things really didn't matter.. difficult child seemingly decided to have a last hurrah with buddies that evening causing another call to the landlord.. Bio-dad called me Saturday and was furious..luckily for him the landlord is giving him a chance,having the locks replaced at bio-dads expense and with the understanding difficult child will no longer be there...
difficult child is here now..but i dont expect peace for long as i doubt he will want to follow our rules such as : he MUST attend rescue classes for diploma, GED classes or have a job..18 or not..while here he will have a curfew. No license = no driving our vehicles..period! we shouldn't have to hide keys so if he's caught driving one of our vehicles he WILL be charged. If he's caught lying about his whereabouts, stealing $ or etc's..he's out. We had provided him a cell phone for months to assist us in making schedule arrangements to help get him to previous court dates/school etc..but we're at the end of our "helping rope" If he's kicked out this time the phone will be cut off , transportation or any other help we've offered in the past will no longer be available.
Today has been quite nice..but tomorrow once my girls are in school ( just in case there is drama ) he will be sat down and get the full understanding of whats expected and over the course of the next week we will see quickly how willing he is or isn't to comply.
Looking forward to exchanging support ,questions and advice with everyone here.. ((hugs to all))
