Well-Known Member
Lying allows a person to establish perceived control over a situation by manipulating it. It's a defense mechanism that (seemingly) prevents them from being vulnerable, that is, to not open up and reveal their true self to another person.

My 39 year old daughter has quit her job and is making ends meet by playing the stock market. So far she has paid her bills, bought a pool for her back yard and seems to be making her bills. I don't see her as often as before, but when I do see her she seems frazzled, confused and tired most of the time.
Her 46 year old boyfriend is living with her fulltime. I really do not know much about their life but when I drive by my rent house the yard looks better and it looks maintained. As long as things look picked up I keep my distance. The years are moving fast and in just a short few years the house will be paid off and I can completely relax and unhook from the financial ties.

The lies that come out of her mouth are so odd and so weird. I go through feeling sorry for her to wanting to shove my foot up her A. In the last 6 months there has only been a couple of days that she was ok to be around.
Years ago when my bipolar sister in law would visit I would get nauseated and after she left I would open all the doors and windows, burn sage and let the bad vibes out. I don't want to feel like this with my own daughter again. I have felt like that with my daughter in the past but not to the point of burning sage, just opening the doors and windows to let the unruly vibes out.
Other than that my husband and I are doing ok. Our daughter still grieves us deeply.

I hope and pray you all are doing well. This is truly a hard road.


Well-Known Member
Hey Newstart,

I did a lot of lying to myself and others when J was deep in his addiction. You are correct, it is a defense mechanism. I am still ashamed of all the lies I told to keep his name clean. On some level, I wanted to believe the lies. I think her yard looking kept is a good sign, controlled mayhem if nothing else.Hugs to you!