I went to the AA meeting with difficult child tonight and heard two things that really struck me. First was that addict/alcoholics look for something to fill the hole they have inside them and they feel that hole very early on in their lives. They don't feel like they fit in, they feel different, and they use alcohol or drugs to feel accepted. I have always said my difficult child had a hole in her heart from being adopted that noone could fill. I now realize that she tried to fill that hole with alcohol/drugs.
The second thing was that alcoholics try to force things to happen and the key to serenity is to calm down and let things happen. I am guilty of that and have to keep reminding myself that when I feel things start to fall apart with difficult child I can't force it, I have to calm down and wait for it to happen, whatever it is.
We ended up sitting next to a young man difficult child went to high school with and she told me the first time she blacked out she was at his house drinking and smoking pot with her girlfriend. She doesn't remember how she got back to her friends house but did remember her dad picked her up and yelled at her all the way home. I remember that night well too. She was 14 years old. It dawned on me that she was a serious alcoholic very early on.
difficult child is chairing the Friday night meetings at one of the groups for the month of January and asked husband and I if we would like to come. Of course we said yes. She has picked the leaders and we know them all so I am anxious to hear their stories and see her in her element. I love sharing our sunday night together this way. I get to see her interact with the people who come to the meetings and how they seem to really like her. She seems so comfortable and relaxed.
Nancy
The second thing was that alcoholics try to force things to happen and the key to serenity is to calm down and let things happen. I am guilty of that and have to keep reminding myself that when I feel things start to fall apart with difficult child I can't force it, I have to calm down and wait for it to happen, whatever it is.
We ended up sitting next to a young man difficult child went to high school with and she told me the first time she blacked out she was at his house drinking and smoking pot with her girlfriend. She doesn't remember how she got back to her friends house but did remember her dad picked her up and yelled at her all the way home. I remember that night well too. She was 14 years old. It dawned on me that she was a serious alcoholic very early on.
difficult child is chairing the Friday night meetings at one of the groups for the month of January and asked husband and I if we would like to come. Of course we said yes. She has picked the leaders and we know them all so I am anxious to hear their stories and see her in her element. I love sharing our sunday night together this way. I get to see her interact with the people who come to the meetings and how they seem to really like her. She seems so comfortable and relaxed.
Nancy