She's back

[dstc_99]

Why would you get fired? Why are they having a meeting without you? Were you not invited?

Don't crawl in a hole and hide because your child has issues! You are strong enough to know when to ask for help and you are strong enough to stand up and do what you have to in order to protect yourself from an abusive child. That is a heck of alot more than most people ever do. DO NOT LET HER BAD BEHAVIOR MAKE YOU FEEL BAD! I have been there and done that one too many times and all it every got me was more depression and more drama.

 

[Jody]

yes, they are having a meeting without me and I wasnt invited. Last week a friend of mine was fired. Months ago we became whistleblowers and we are being retaliated against, one at a time. You are right 99 thank you, ill have to remember not to retreat. thank you.

 

[BusynMember]

If you interact with her at all, bring a small recording device so her "nice girl" isn't fooling anyone and you can let them listen to the real her and her threats. You need to have her removed from your house because she is mentally ill and not in control of herself and could hurt somebody badly. It is for her safety as well as yours. Yes, yes, make out a police report!

 

[Jody]

she signed some paper saying that she was not going to kill me orher and they said they will not hospitalize, she told them i was hitting her. omg, i told him and her to find a place for her to go either fostercare or somewhere but she will not be coming home to my house after school, i am not being hit on any more.

 

[greenrene]

Worried for you... PLEASE make a police report!

 

[buddy]

Plus she's setting you up. Do you let her ride in the front?
Thats one thing I never let Q do. In any car anywhere.

Pretty obvious if there's aggression he had to start it....I have bad shoulders.

Thank God (and JJ) we've had great rides for months (knocking wood everywhere).

It's so awful when they're acting out in car.

So, she can sign a contract not to kill you, but a concussion is okay?

 

[dstc_99]

File a police report for assualt! Get her out of your house. These people are insane that they think a crazy person signing a paper means anything. If she had a concious she would never hit her mother. What makes them think that because she signed a dang paper it is going to stop.

 

[Bunny]

So she assaulted you, and not for the first time, but signed a paper stating she's not planning on killing you, so the people who went to her school to evaluate her are going let her get away with that?

if she comes home and you don't allowe her back into the the house can CPS say it's child abandonment? That is the only thing that would concern me.

 

[Jody]

i know i find it to be mind boggling. I am not allowing her in the house and they will charge me with abandonement. I have one charge against me now, but it was stated clearly in the record why she was in fostercare. From her being abusive not me.

 

[slsh]

Jody - you need to be calling 911 every time she assaults you, immediately. Request an ambulance for a mentally ill child. It's obvious that calling these hotline folks, and the subsequent "contract" they had her sign, is just beyond pointless.

in my humble opinion, you need to file a police report now for the assault in the car this morning. If it ever happens again, pull the car over and call 911.

You have the absolute right to be safe in your own home, in your car, without the threat of some bologna "abandonment" charge hanging over your head. You are not abandoning her, you are refusing to let your abuser back into your home. But you have *got* to get a consistent paper trail that documents her violence towards you.

And, sorry to be cynical, but you have got to make sure not to lay a hand on her. Record incidents if things start getting heated (obviously, without her knowing about the recording, or you may end up with an Academy Award-winning performance on her part).

I lived with an incredibly violent child for years, and it frustrated me no *end* that I was supposed to just deal with the bites/bruises/punches/etc. If it had been my husband doing that to me, his posterior would have been locked up in heartbeat - but for some reason our kids can beat the living crud out of us with no consequences. That's why I say call 911 and request an ambulance for an unstable mentally ill kid - you'll get cops and EMTs all at once, and you can let *them* figure out what to do with her.

My heart goes out to you.

 

[susiestar]

I am sorry about work. Make sure you know your legal rights, esp as a whistleblower, and you have an atty help you with the situation.

As for difficult child, stick to your guns. Let them charge you if they must (in many states they MUST charge you or they cannot put her into foster care, it is nuts but is the system). It would be better to have the charges and be safe than to live with her and possibly die at her hands. cause it is possible that she could kill you.

With the health issues you have, I would look into disability and being labelled a vulnerable adult. With that label, anything difficult child does to you is a big deal. Your doctor would need to be involved. Do not let her come home. Odds are high that one of you will end up in the hospital and hte other in prison. If she kills you, she could claiim self defense and you couldn't refute it.

Follow the advice to make a police report and press charges for assault. and to call 911 every single time she gets violent. Also ask for a restraining order on her. It isn't mean, it is loving. To love a child is to do the hard things, to draw the boundaries and make them stick. If she doesn't learn the lesson now, what will she do if she ever has a child?

 

[Jody]

You are all right. My mind is just blank at times right now, I seem to be in a fog. I think of my new place and I have already had the police out three times in one month. ugh, then my job. I don't care about the charges at all, everyone who knows me knows the reason why she's locked out, and that I woudl rather have her at home behaving. They do have to charge me or she can't be placed in fostercare. Her old foster mother has a daughter that does fostercare too, that lives outside the city. We are thinking about trying to get her to be placed there.

 

[HaoZi]

I'm so sorry this is happening again hon. I don't have advice to add, I just want you to be safe.

 

[Jody]

I just got off the phone with her old foster mother, she said she would be interested in having difficult child come back there. We are going to try to work something out financially and then if she doesnt behave there then I am going to put her in care. Thank you all for everything, I could not have made it through any of this without you. Im not letting her home, even for visits for a long, long while. I can use her cell phone money to help pay for her care out of her social security.

 

[Bunny]

I lived with an incredibly violent child for years, and it frustrated me no *end* that I was supposed to just deal with the bites/bruises/punches/etc. If it had been my husband doing that to me, his posterior would have been locked up in heartbeat - but for some reason our kids can beat the living crud out of us with no consequences.

You know, I never understood this. If it's your husband doing this you would have dozens of people counseling you to leave for the your safety and the sake of the children, if there are any. When it's your child that is doing this, all of a sudden everyone talks about how unification of the family is so important. Please, someone tell me what is so important about reunification with an abuse? Especially in a case like Jody's, where is is documentation that there is a history of this on the part of her daughter, and saying that her daughter can't come back into the house, which is really the only way to guarantee Jody's safety, is going to get her charged with abandonment. I just don't get it.

 

[Bunny]

Was she in foster care previously? How did she behave she she was with her foster family?

 

[Jody]

Yes she was in care for about a year and 1/2. She did pretty well in care, still had defiant issues but seemed to get it under control a little bit more. She also realized I wasnt going to deal with it. too much stress for me , it makes me sick, and I am really sick about what happened in front of my dog. He did not like it whatsoever. I am really glad that he didnt bite her though. He's never bitten anyone or even come close but he was trying to protect me when he saw that I got hit.

 

[buddy]

Where is she now?

 

[Hound dog]

Jody, hon.......

Trust me on this...........you dial 911 each and every time she lays so much as a finger on you. I don't care if cops have to pitch a tent in your yard because they're there so much. You CAN admit her under threat to others, which includes you.......so you report, report, report until they either pay attention or are so sick of being called by you they admit/remove her.

Don't worry too much about Brody. He's gonna do his job and protect his Mom. If getting bitten is what it takes for her to back off, well then you won't hear me feeling sorry for her. Brody won't be blamed for protecting you from her.

Keep your cell on you at all times. Keep it charged. Wear out the numbers 9 and 1 if necessary. But there is no reason whatsoever for you to put up with such abusive behavior in your home whether your child is mentally ill or not. I know the system in which you're dealing.........and I'm sorry it's not better than it is.

((((hugs)))))

 

[JJJ]

I was always right there when CARES/SASS came out. Nothing like mom hitting all the triggers to get them a better picture.