She's on her way home.

[Sister's Keeper]

Here is my next question. Do I attempt another visit or should I stay away? I told her that if she wanted me to come back on Wednesday, she needed to invite me. But if she left, I won't know unless I show up. Today is Monday and the ill fated visit previously was Saturday. The rehab facility is approximately a 2 hour drive. She has a little window of time to call in the evenings. So far no call. I really need to study the detachment article!

No. I think that you set a limit. You told her that if she wanted you there she had to invite you. Stick to that.

A big part of recovery is making them responsible for their treatment. You did the right thing, you put the ball in her court.

 

[Kathy813]

RN, I loved this!

I have been working with a therapist to see that my love for my son is UNCONDITIONAL but for him to have a relationship with me, there are conditions.

What a perfect way to put it.

~Kathy

 

[mof]

Let her decide. The first family visit for us was awful, but an hour later at lunch he was fine. Detox and medications took a toll, he slowly realized he was no longer in control.

There were times he could have had off campus visits, but he didn't do the paperwork he needed too.

Slowly..even in rehab there are consequences....he could call..and didn't. We let him dictate...the distance was good. He was safe. He was learning..we were trying to find ground.

He is 8 mos sober from opiates and so much better health and mind wise. It's not over...but the process is painfully slow. One day at at time.....

Stay strong...hugs

 

[JLC]

I left work early to go to an Alanon meeting. I really am grateful for all of you for taking the time to share your own stories and the emotions that bring us together. I feel peaceful about waiting for the right action to be revealed. I was told that her recovery is "non of your (my) business". I feel ready to let it be her journey. I can't help her, but I might well hinder her. You all have shown me with your individual experiences that I can't expect resolution soon, or ever, but sometimes miracles do happen. Whether my beloved daughter is that 10% isn't up to me. All I can do today is appreciate the quietness I have tonight.

 

[RN0441]

JLC

I think accepting that I couldn't fix it was the hardest thing for me. No one told me that for a long time and I didn't even THINK that for one second. Once I accepted that it wasn't MY journey but his as an individual, it helped me tremendously.

There is no rule book for what we as parents go through with these kids but I do know for me, having this forum enlightened me tremendously as to what we were maneuvering because others here have done it or are doing it. No one in my life could have shown me this because none of them have walked this road.

 

[RN0441]

RN, I loved this!


What a perfect way to put it.

~Kathy

I needed her to tell me that because it helped me to separate the two. Hard stuff!