Sick of my Adult Daughter

[Saddmom]

Nobody should be abused by anyone for any reason. Your daughter is treating you without any respect. She is setting a horrible example for her kids.

Has she always been abusive?

I am sorry she is this way and I dont blame you for leaving. Sadly, these days children often abuse loving parents. Do you have a SO? Friends? Other family that is nice to you?

How do I divorce my daughtet

 

[BusynMember]

Well, you cant legally, but you can back off as little or as far as you feel is best for you. Once your child is an adult, your involvement is totally up to you. I always let my adult kids grow up and learn from their own mistakes. My choice, but a good one for them as they are all thriving, at least work wise. Only one is still a problem for himself. If he starts getting verbally abusive, i stop talking and give him three days in a row until i will engage him again. He is almost 40 and knows better. And knows the boundaries I have set.

So you decide what you want to do and what boundaries to draw with your daughter. Whatever you do though dont put expectations that your daughter will change. You cant control her. Do whatever you do or dont do for yourself, not her. Put yourself first.

 

[wisernow]

You deserve respect from your daughter and not the abuse you have allowed. Reclaim your life and take it back. You deserve more and you know it. That's why you are questioning yourself. Enjoy the life you have, and your boyfriend. She will be fine and will come around at some point in time, but on your terms, not hers. Hugs!

 

[EJP]

Great advice I'll take it on board for myself. Thanks.

 

[Saddmom]

Well, you cant legally, but you can back off as little or as far as you feel is best for you. Once your child is an adult, your involvement is totally up to you. I always let my adult kids grow up and learn from their own mistakes. My choice, but a good one for them as they are all thriving, at least work wise. Only one is still a problem for himself. If he starts getting verbally abusive, i stop talking and give him three days in a row until i will engage him again. He is almost 40 and knows better. And knows the boundaries I have set.

So you decide what you want to do and what boundaries to draw with your daughter. Whatever you do though dont put expectations that your daughter will change. You cant control her. Do whatever you do or dont do for yourself, not her. Put yourself first.

Thank you

 

[Saddmom]

You deserve respect from your daughter and not the abuse you have allowed. Reclaim your life and take it back. You deserve more and you know it. That's why you are questioning yourself. Enjoy the life you have, and your boyfriend. She will be fine and will come around at some point in time, but on your terms, not hers. Hugs!

It is a comfort knowing i am not alone

 

[Saddmom]

How do I divorce my daughtet

Yes she has always been difficult but the last few yrs. Has been abusive. I think she is on the wrong medications

 

[JaneBetty]

Saddmom, I just saw your post and can relate as I have a daughter who lashed out like this for many years. She is now 27 and out of the house, but it took a long time to become detached from her.
You have come to the right place for empathy and support. I think it is especially hard to deal with a difficult daughter. I spent too much time wanting mine to move out, but at the same time worrying over her safety and well being if she were on her own.
It was a painful dilemma and I feel for you in your situation.
Your daughter is an adult now and must learn to fend for herself.
You are doing the right thing.

 

[NGB]

Hi J I am so sorry you are being treated that way by your daughter sounds like you don't deserve it either. I also divorced my daughters father when she was five and I admit rocky times also. I have apologised to my daughter so many times I've lost count but she throws things up from the past and it's just to hurt me and she knows I know it but she still thinks it's ok to speak to me like dirt when it suits her but she doesn't send me bad texts like you daughter is to you and I haven't helped my daughter like you have with her three children as we have always lived apart up until fours ago in different states and I've hated it the whole time but my partner goes where the work is so no choice where we live for now. My daughter is what I call a lasher she lashes out to the people that are closest to her which means she also has some problems but she is so guarded about telling me it makes me feel like a stranger it's extremely hurtful and totally unnecessary. But she doesn't use the kids against me like your does so at least I have that to be thankful for. Well not so far this has just happened between us so we haven't come to that yet. She won't want to do that let me tell ya there would be a blew and a half then lol. But you are right when people say just stay away and don't have contact in the mean time the grandkids are growing up and you miss everything so I completely understand what you mean by that my sister has also told me the same thing but it's unbearable and unless people experience the same thing they don't understand and I too put on a front but I am so disappointed in my daughter at the moment I'm not sure if we can come back from this one it's happened to often. All I can think is I hope it happens to her with one of her kids and see how she handles it I just hope I'm alive to see it. Look after you is all I can say. Try not to respond to her if you can and stay quiet for a while just to give yourself a break that's what I'm doing for now when I'm ready to go into battle with her again I'll contact her. Take care.