I do try to talk to him & tell him the outcome
What more can you do?
It sounds like his Dad is responding appropriately by not allowing him to control the situation (which itself is ridiculous given that he is a child who has gotten himself into a difficult and dire situation, already). So. I think the work has to be by you. To tolerate and handle the natural,emotional consequences of the situation.
You really are helpless, right now, if you define yourself and your range of possible actions in terms of WHAT SON DOES or THINKS. You can decide to define yourself based upon YOU. What you choose for yourself, how you function, and your state of mind (and heart). This is what happens for each one of us here, and what is our common bond. The hard fact that we do not control our kids, and our hearts are broken, and we are sad, sad, sad, and feel helpless.
We find that it is within our power to establish boundaries. First we define boundaries based upon how much we allow in or close our kids. But then we come to define boundaries as how we understand and experience ourselves.
There are things you can do (I will put down here what I do or want to do): Go to a 12 step group, like Al Anon or some other group like this; Codependents Anonymous is another one. Exercise. Walking. Gym. Martial Arts. A needlework class. A quilting guild. A language class. Art. Spirituality. Anything that involves me with people. Therapy and bodywork.
We do not have control over others or do we determine what they do or don't do. Your son will likely continue along these same lines. He shows no sign of learning from the difficult situation he finds himself in. This does not mean he won't change down the line. But your own suffering, and ruminating, and feelings of helplessness will not inspire this change.
This is what all of us come to learn, sooner or later. What happens is that we start taking care of ourselves. The suffering still happens for us, but it does not dominate us. We come to see we have a choice whether or not we define ourselves and our lives, based upon our children, or based upon our decisions to live well every day. And every day is a new day.