Stiggygirl, you said, "He would scream for hours at a time when he was new born because of the colic and the only way I could get him to stop was to run the vacumn clean or a hand held mixer next to his crib."
That's not colic.
Babies cry for a lot of reasons and too often, well-meaning observers tell us to not let it upset us, it's just colic.
When a baby has colic, they are in pain. The cry is high-pitched, almost sharp and the baby LOOKS in pain. They draw their legs up to their tummy and are tense as well.
I was told with all my babies, that they had colic. However, I could "cure" colic in my boys by feeding them, often feeding them far more than I was supposed to. With difficult child 3, I had a nursing clinic involved who stopped me from feeding him because the test-weigh said he had taken about 50 mls in the first 5 minutes on one side, which was already more than he should have had. But he was used to getting 20 minutes from each side from me and then coming back an hour later for another full feed. I spent a week doing things the way the clinic said and frankly, the symptoms were VERY similar to colic, because my baby was in pain, from hunger. Then I relented and fed him as much as he wanted. He took half a feed then slept out of exhaustion. Then woke and fed even more, until he fell asleep again.
So if experts had got it so wrong, chances are you've been labouring under misapprehensions all this time.
difficult child 1 was a "colicky baby" but looking back I'm sure it was more. HE WOULD settle if he was held facing the ground lying along my arms, my arm against his tummy. If anyone else was holding him they had to hold him facing away from them, and I had to make sure he couldn't see me or hear me or he would cry for me.
easy child 2/difficult child 2 would refuse to sleep, would sit and scream in rage at being put to bed. She would sit there, rocking with exhaustion, eyes closed, falling asleep even sitting up screaming. Then she would fall over, her head would hit the pillow and she would wake and begin screaming again.
Only difficult child 3 had language delay. All the others either talked normally or early.
Moods - difficult child 1 gets very depressed especially if life gets too difficult for him. Bullying made both boys very depressed as well as anxious. But when talking about their favourite topic they get agitated, excited, almost 'high' from the joy of it. easy child 2/difficult child 2 also has mood swings, often seeming manic, but can shift to apparent despair and a sense of being persecuted, in minutes. She can talk herself into hysterics.
They have been diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in various forms. All are exceptionally bright, with some sub-scores in IQ tests being off the scale. Yet with the boys, they each 'failed' their first IQ test. None of them has done as well at school as they should be able to, although with support all have shown some extent of what they are capable of.
A person with bipolar has mood swings from very high to very low. But there can be many reasons for ANY person to have mood swings. The thing with bipolar, is the mood swings are innate and not directly and completely due to the environment. In Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), the mood swings are much more related to the environment but because this is from the point of view of the person with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), we can't always see what it is that is upsetting them/making them happy.
Some suggestions:
1) Get a copy of "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. There is some good discussion of this in Early Childhood in the stickies. This book helps a lot, especially with ODD presentations. It requires a different approach, counter-intuitive, but whatever the underlying problem, this is worth trying.
2) Go check out
www.childbrain.com and look for their online Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire. It's not diagnostic but you can print the results and take them to a specialist for their opinion. At least it will give the expert some idea of the ares that concern you.
3) Get a referral to a neuropsychologist for a thorough evaluation. It may confirm what you've been told, or it may change direction. At worst, it will give you more insight into what is going on.
Others will be along with ideas and suggestions.
Welcome!
Marg