Still don't know if she's going in to marines...

[GoingNorth]

You must be desperate: that's a long drive! I hope this works out. I still have my doubts about her making it through training, and her scattiness makes wonder about her succeeding in genera, but all one can do is hope for the best.

 

[pigless in VA]

Up Up Up


and down and and down and


Do you feel like a yo-yo yet, Grambo?

 

[Littleboylost]

For the love of parents and GOD may hey instil some sense of accountability in her.

KSM they truly do not appreciate the crap they put us through or what we do for them. We here so understand that.

I think your having the party at the wrong time ...it should be a post departure celebration.

 

[ksm]

6:30 ... On my way to pick her up and take her to DL by 7. Trying to beat the long line. Then make police report. Fun. Ksm

 

[Jabberwockey]

I told daughter I would drive her &SS from OK to SC if they didn't put her on that plane.

You do what you think you need to but personally, I wouldn't have gone this far. This just teaches her that no matter how bad her screw up is, you will swoop in to fix it. I do understand why you did it though. You did it for YOU not her. With her in boot camp you will get a break from her drama. Its the same reason we paid to put D on the train to Colorado and put him up in a hotel for a couple of nights. We needed the break.

 

[ksm]

You are right, Jabber! I want her gone! I want her butt out of bed at 6 am or earlier. I want her to be so hungry that she will eat what is put in front of her, and so tired that she will fall ad keep at 8:30pm and not watch cat videos on you tube all night. I want her to have so few belongings that she can actually find them! And take care of them!

But, in the back of my mind, I know there is a good chance that she will be back home soon. I don't know who will give up first...her or the Marines. Sigh... Ksm

 

[Jabberwockey]

I know what you mean. At one point, our son was looking into going into the military so he could take care of his girlfriend and her baby. He chose the Marines because I had. I love my son but he wouldn't have lasted more than a few weeks in boot camp. In boot camp you are expected to do what you're told WHEN you're told. He argues about everything! He would spend a half an hour arguing about why he needed to do something that would have taken less than 5 minutes to complete.

Sorry KSM, but I think your probably right that she will be back soon. Just enjoy the time while you can and remember that there IS a chance that she will actually try to get her crap together while she's there.

 

[Lil]

Just enjoy the time while you can and remember that there IS a chance that she will actually try to get her crap together while she's there.

I agree...and there's a big difference between your situation KSM, with the granddaughter who seems to be rather immature and lazy and scattered, and our son who was just openly defiant of every simple task we asked him to do. Also...people in general tend to do what their peers do. There is a good chance that with everyone else getting up at 5 and making their beds and doing their chores as they're told - she will too. If she does what she's told, when she's told??? Who knows?

At a minimum, you'll have a break and she'll have a unique experience.

 

[ksm]

She will want to fit in... No matter what group she is with, she tries to fit in. Usually in a negative way. Lol.

Like when a guy she liked always had a confederate flag on his truck...well, all of a sudden she was posting how it was "our" heritage. Sorry, not my heritage. Next it was atheism...now she only believed in Karma. Her Karma must be a beeyotch! She is very fluid...trying to fit in and belong.

I try to ignore these phases. Hopefully there will be positive things in her future. Like, work as a team. Finish what you start. Do your best, don't settle for mediocre. Be thankful for a place to stay and meals. If you got it out, put it up...esp if it involves ice cream.

Recently she complained about her dads place. There was no hair conditional! OMG. And recently, the fact that she didn't have the feminine hygiene product she wanted. Then mentioned the fact she has never bought a box of product. She just uses my sons girlfriends products! 18 months!! 3 short term jobs. Never bought a box of tampons!

Rant over. This Saturday...Shes Going Party...Sunday...She's Gone Party.

Please join me in my celebration!!

Ksm

 

[DoneDad]

Enjoy your time! If she does wash out, there’s no law saying you have to take her back. She’s on her own journey now.

 

[ksm]

She hasn't lived with us for 1.5 years. Her dad already told her she had to move out this month. As she was not being productive, holding a job, or helping around the house.

I don't think I could live with her again. 30 minutes in the car and I am toast. I can't handle that level of frustration for long. It's exhausting!

Ksm

 

[ksm]

i am hopeful. of course she may cut it with a lot of discipline and peer pressure....

is it sexist and old-fashioned to say, she might meet a nice guy?

LOL. I don't know what my girls fall for the bad boys! The psychologist suggested it might be because they are repeating the pattern they had with their mom, desperate for her love and attention, they put up with just about anything. Only to be tossed aside when it wasn't convenience.

I try to tell them to "become the right person" and you will attract the right person.

Maybe some day...

 

[susiestar]

I am astounded by her ability to lose things. I thought my kids were bad. There stuff is usually in their rooms, often someplace they have looked four times. Jess has usually picked up whatever she is looking for at least 3-4 times and moved it to the side to see if it is underneath itself. If I point out what she is doing, she gets angry, so I just let her do without whatever it is for a few days. Eventually her eyes open and she sees it. The funniest was a three pound brick of chocolate that she "lost" and moved at least six times while searching for it. Her dad and I kept having to leave the room to laugh in private. When she finally realized where it was, she had been using it as a book rest for three days. For a paperback that she was reading without her glasses. She is nearsighted. How she was that close (less than 10 inches away) and didn't smell the chocolate, I have no idea!

I hope your granddau goes and does very well. Chances are the peer pressure and structure may be what she needs. If not, it is not your problem.

I hope you have one wild and wonderful Grambo Bash after she finally departs!

 

[ksm]

Today...she called me...guess what she found? Her drivers license! Where? In the apron she wore for her one day of training for her last "job". She trained on a Tuesday evening about 6 weeks ago. The next day, I asked her when she works next. She said the lady was suppose to call her.

A week later, she called to ask when she worked...only to find out they had expected her the next night. Shortest job yet.

We had her little going away party this evening. We puck her up at 9:30 tomorrow to take her an hour away. Then she and 5 other recruits head to OKC.

Ksm

 

[Copabanana]

ksm you did your part. like 500x over. i wish her well. is she nervous? excited? how do you feel?

how is her sister doing?

 

[ksm]

Had our little party yesterday. Took her to nearby city to recruiters office, and she's on a shuttle bus to OKC with 5 other recruits. Hopefully she makes it thru tomorrow (has already been approved once) and then flies to S.C. On Monday afternoon.

We had barely got out of town when she realized she had forgotten her little address book. Luckily, there was a Dollar General store on the way to the recruiters office. She had 3 things to be responsible for. license, address book, $20. We took care of the $20... I bought the address book, twice, and I replaced the DL before she found it.

Ugghh. Plus she had a shaker/drink bottle in the car...the kind that people use for protein shakes. Well, we brought it from the car to the house when we got home, and it had hard liquor in it...smelled nasty. I know she had said she didn't get home til 3am last night...so probably remnants of that. In our state, you have to be 21.

Plus she was grumpy and not in a good mood most of the time. She did give us hugs and was affectionate before she left.

I will give this 4 weeks... Hope I am wrong. Ksm

 

[Copabanana]

ksm. she put this plan in effect. all you did was support her.

the importat thing for me, and hard, is that when things fall apart or require purpose and motivation and action to sustain--not to feel it is my role to myself look for solution and remedy.

i got a text from my son this morning saying he would call at 11am (not), that despite improved circumstances he still felt sad. so we, he and i, have trained us to believe the remedy to his ill feeling is located inside of me: what i do or do not say or do. or what i feel.

more to the point he likes to share his troubles with me so as to feel less. great.

i told m who said just tell him to work. that's as good an answer as any.

boundaries. that needs to be my magic word.

 

[BusynMember]

From all that my husband and his vet friends have told me, I never ever thought of the military as a way for troubled young adults to get their acts together. More as a way for more together young people to step it up or get ruined by ptsd...not for all, definitely not for anyone who is unstable or mentally ill at all.

I never wanted my kids in the military. Combat and ptsd are always a real possibilities that I did not think was worth any possible gains. But since your daughter is there, I hope her experience, however long or short, brings a positive experience for her. And growth.

Failure here would not be the end of the world...or completely pointless either. Just part of her life's path.

Love and hugs.

 

[ksm]

Believe me, this is not anything I had suggested for her to do. I know how hard this will be, but she didn't ask me before she swore in.

She is not a horrible person...she is intelligent...but not focused.

I hope what ever happens will be a learning event.

Ksm

 

[BusynMember]

I know it wasnt your idea. Some people think the military straightens out troubled youth, but I know you never said that. I doubt whether your grand can do it, but i doubt if even my most stable kid could do it without big problems. I hope she never has to fight.

I hope she does get some good out of it.