Stories of parents and estranged grown kids...wow.

[InsaneCdn]

Stop. The long hand of the sociopath has turned you against yourself. It's a hard habit to break.

Do NOT kick YOURSELF. Ever. Not for ANY thing.
You do the best you can with what you have. You do your best to move forward. Kicking yourself only works against yourself.

Hugs.

 

[cubsgirl]

I can soooooo relate. My mother is a narcissist who cut off contact because I was not perfect and didn't make her look good (she told me when I didn't get straight A's in junior high that I made her look bad). My daughter is probably borderline who cut me off because I'm not perfect. My DNA is chock-ful of disorders (and I have bipolar). It is hurtful and abusive.

 

[2much2recover]

Here is something to think about as well:
Care less for people who care little for me. Care less for people who judge and condemn me for being the person I am. Care less for people who struggle so deeply with their own issues, that they have little or nothing to share with me. Certainly to care less for people who would demean, diminish, isolate and harm me.

I will not necessarily stop loving. I will stop investing. I will place my caring where it is meaningful and matters. I will place my caring with people who are capable of reciprocating in kind."

 

[InsaneCdn]

. I will place my caring with people who are capable of reciprocating in kind."

Or... with people who are incapable of reciprocating for good reason... like some lonely soul at a nursing home, or a severely disabled adult. And even then... they will find some way to reciprocate.

 

[recoveringenabler]

2m2r, you've done everything you could have done. There is no dealing with a sociopath or a narcissist in a way that is healthy for us. We are painfully aware of that. Most of the time we have to let go. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. You've been through hell and back. I know how hard it is and how much we beat ourselves up over it...........I don't think anyone was referring to what you've had to do with your daughter..........no contact for you was the absolute right thing to do. I believe we all support your decision 100%. HUGS.........many, many hugs......

 

[Tanya M]

Good thread. I definately think there are times when you need to go NO contact and others LOW contact. I for the most part have been going NO contact as my difficult child was very abusive verbally. I have had some contact recently but am being very guarded. I will not put myself in a position again to put up with any of his crap.