Teacher wants her to stay back a grade

[DaisyFace]

Hello!

My son was retained in Kindergarten....and, like you, they waited until the end of the year to tell me.

We decided to go ahead and have him repeat Kindergarten. Our feeling was, he is less likely to be "picked on" for being held back at this early level....AND repeating the grade might give him an advantage as he progressed in school. Whereas, having him advance and then struggle through the following year could make him frustrated as he tried to keep up with his classmates. And then, you know, he would be picked on for being "dumb".

I don't regret our decision at all...

Today, he is in fourth grade....and yes, a whole year older than his classmates--but he is excelling at every subject. And so the subject will sometimes come up among his friends "How is it the he is so smart, and yet because of his age, he must have failed something at some point?"

Well, my son just explains that nobody "Fails" when they are little....and sometimes kids just aren't really ready for school when they are five or six--so his parents held him back so that he could have another year to get ready.

What are the teacher's reasons for wanting to retain your child?

What are your reasons for wanting her to continue to the next grade?

How does your child feel about it?

It's a tough decision, and a lot to think about.

Best of luck!

--DaisyF

 

[allhaileris]

Thank you all for your responses, it really helps to see everybody's experiences, for the good and bad.

We went down and spoke to her teacher yesterday and I didn't completely blow up There were three main points the teacher brought up. 1. Her reading is at the beginning of 1st grade, but admitted that she was doing much better so it's not a huge issue. She's made huge leaps in only the past couple weeks. 2. The teacher thinks she would click better with kids a year younger, but it seemed like it was just thrown out there to help aide her in getting us to hold her back. As if it were not really an issue, but only slightly. I think if she's on the spectrum, then she's going to have issues socially her whole life whether it's with kids her age or a year younger. and...

3. Her math is horrible, but we're not sure if it's refusal to do the work or just not getting it. I ask many times why it had taken this long to address the issue and I got a weird "because she's done so well the past couple of weeks" (???). It pretty much came down to she needs a different way to learn this, and the teacher is mandated to teach a certain way (thanks cruddy No Child Left Behind) so they have to exhaust the mandated way. Our short term solution is to get a tutor. Given the cost of tutor in our area ranges from $30-55, the teacher suggested calling the high school because they have to complete community service before they graduate and that a kid my DDs age would really look up to a HS kid. Voila - cheap solution that might work a little! The teacher is also going to have the therapist work on the "touch" technique to teach math. Apparently I've been doign this my whole life and didn't know it was a method. But if it works for me it might work better for her. It's more visual.

The can't legally hold her back unless we request it. Apparently she wasn't even supposed to suggest it. So it's all up to us. I'd rather not hold her back mostly for self-esteem issues. I think it would hurt her a lot and since really it only seems to be math that she's that far behind in. And if we work really hard, she can catch up with tutoring and summer work. But we're in a wait and see hold right now since we have two more months to go of school.

I did express my anger with the way it was handled, and how I've been given no options at this late point. The whole thing *****!

 

[flutterby]

It pretty much came down to she needs a different way to learn this, and the teacher is mandated to teach a certain way (thanks cruddy No Child Left Behind) so they have to exhaust the mandated way. Our short term solution is to get a tutor. Given the cost of tutor in our area ranges from $30-55,

Nuh uh. An IEP is an Individualized Education Plan. They have to identify what your daughter needs and provide it. They're feeding you a line. Repost this on the SpEd board.

 

[allhaileris]

Her IEP was for originally speech only - no math. When we changed it this year (Jan or Feb) it was changed to an generic learning disability. Specific math plans were not put in. So yes, we'll need to rewrite it before the school year ends.

I'll definitly repost this in the Special Education board when I get some more time today.

 

[justour2boys]

There is a math program called Touch Math and you could work with her durring the summer. Here's the site.. http://www.touchmath.com/

Also, you mentioned a possible auditory challenges. My DS was diagnosis with Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) (auditory processing disorder) in K and formally diagnosis again in 3rd grade. If your daughter's learning style is anything like my Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) son, learning thru verbal instruction does not work. My DS is a very visual/spatial learner... he needs to see it or touch it for things to "click".

Here is more info... http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/

Also, here is some info about Auditory Processing Disorders (APD), which your school could screen her for... https://web.archive.org/web/2010072...Outreach/seehear/spring00/centralauditory.htm

 

[allhaileris]

You ladies are great! JustOur2Boys - thanks for those links, especially the touch math one. I printed out a bunch of the "fuzzy" samples just to bring home and talk to E about. I have no clue why her teacher didn't bring this up before! She's the mother of an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kid as well and there are a few pages on that site that talk about Special Education and autistic kids and how the system can work better for them.

And I'm still amazed that I was doing this method my whole life. Why? Is that what they taught back in the 70s/80s or is that just what clicked.

I can't wait to try this with her.

 

[klmno]

Jump Start has some great educational games for the easy child if this is an option. They cover basic math and reading (really learning sounds of letters and phonics) and are available at different grade levels, with each game having several levels. My son loved them.