IT and HMB, have either of you have an EEG performed on your child? Preferably a sleep deprived EEG? This is a test of the brain waves to see if there is any sign of seizures or other abnormalities. It used to be standard to do these before giving medications for ADHD, but they relaxed the standards and stopped doing this.
I insisted that Jess be given a sleep deprived EEG before I would give her the adhd medications. I did this with both my kids. Jess turned out to have epilepsy and not ADHD. The symptoms were similar in her case. Anxiety was often the only thing I could ever pinpoint as a symptom of her seizures. If she was going to have a bad day, she would be really anxious and wouldn't be able to say why. This was well after Wiz was out of our home.
As for lithium, it can cause serious problems with your health. It builds up in your body. There are tests needed if you are taking it at any level, especially if you are a child.
I do recognize that after a long period of time of many medications and doctors and more, you may want off of the medical merry go round. I thoroughly get that. We started on it when my Wiz was only 4 and are still on it with J. That means 22 years! So I totally understand wanting to just be off of the medical wheel. But lithium is NOT benign and can be harmful. Be careful.
IT, If a medication gave your child a rash, PLEASE don't give it again. A rash is one of the most severe side effects that you can get. The next time the medication is taken, it could cause complete anaphylaxis, which closes the throat unless an Epi pen is used. Even then, the person needs medical assistance within 10-15 minutes to survive. A rash is a VERY dangerous side effect. Whatever the effect of the medication, it isn't worth taking a chance on.
If she has ADD, anxiety and mood disorder, it will be a slow process to tackle the problems, but it could be helped. The protocol that I understand and have seen work for children, teens and adults is the following: one, and sometimes two, mood stabilizers. Then an atypical antipsychotic if needed to get moods completely under control. IF ADD and anxiety are still present after this is all slowly titrated up to therapeutic levels, very small amounts of medications for these conditions can be trialed.
Medications for ADHD, anxiety and depression can CAUSE mood swings in children and teens as well as in those with mood disorders. It is hard to know when and if to trial those medications.
It is hard to go through the process of finding the right mood stabilizers and titrating them up. I don't envy you that process. But maybe the end result will be one that really improves your life. I remember seeing and hearing one member here go through it. She had loved her SSRI medications because they send her manic and she flew. But when she crashed it was time to go to the hospital again, and that was bad for her family. She was a mess. She finally got into a really good doctor who refused to give her the SSRI medications and insisted on getting her moods stabilized. She was a whole different person, a really amazing one.